How to Lose Weight Without Being Perfect

If you’ve ever put your weight loss on hold until "tomorrow" because you didn't get your eating PERFECT, congrats, babe! You just bought yourself a one-way ticket to Staying Overweight! Perfectionism is the real reason you’re stuck in a weight loss holding pattern, obsessing over macros, meal plans, and every bite like it’s a life-or-death decision. (Spoiler alert: It’s not.) In today’s episode, we’re calling out this all-or-nothing BS and revealing how to lose weight without being a food-obsessed, stressed-out mess. Because real weight loss isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being consistent. Get ready to ditch the diet drama and finally lose the weight for good!

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Transcript

What is up you gorgeous, fabulous creatures and welcome to another episode of the Losing It podcast. This is the place where emotional eating and binge eating comes to die and we just send her off into the wilderness without her bra and panties so she can feel naked and alone and scared. That's what we're doing because we are taking our power back and I'm so happy that you're joining me here this week.

If you are loving the podcast and liking what you hear, please go ahead and feel free to like, love and share with the bestie. Leave me a review on Apple podcast if that's your chosen vibe for listening, your chosen device for listening because I am so grateful and so happy the more and more women that we get to share and spread this message to, the more women we can save lives. If you think that is an over-exaggeration, I promise you it is not.

I myself was at a very unstable alive state just because of my trauma with eating, hating myself, hating my body, not feeling like I was normal and feeling like I just didn't deserve to go on living because I couldn't, I just felt like I, it's not that I couldn't, I felt like I didn't fit in anymore with society. I was just so, I was the freak. I was the freak.

Everybody else seemed to have a normal relationship with food and something that should be so benign in our lives and just there for pure nourishment and enjoyment was actually causing me torture. So I am not exaggerating when I say that we are saving lives. So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for everybody who's here with me today because we are talking today about why, why you are constantly struggling with your weight and I want to show you, there's probably a 10 billion reasons but the one that we're talking about today and I know, I know a lot of you will be able to resonate with this is perfectionism, ding, ding, ding.

Perfectionism is the killer of all dreams. If you like pick any dream out of the ether and then try and apply perfection and perfectionism to it and getting it perfect, you can just suffocate it right now and send it off to an early grave because it will kill off your dreams and that's definitely what happens when it comes to us with weight loss. Most of all, it's most pertinent for us emotional eaters and binge eaters who are trying to lose weight because we are under the misguided apprehension that in order to lose weight, we've got to get your eating perfect.

I mean, of course, I have to get it perfect. What kind of an idiot can make mistakes and still lose weight at the same time? Well, honey, you can. And secondly, second to that, we are not idiots.

We are fabulous and glamorous and gorgeous. So let's take our fabulous, glamorous, gorgeous asses and keep diving into this today. One of the biggest lies that the diet industry has sold us is that we need to get it perfect so that any time we don't, which is pretty much at some point of every single day, we feel like, well, I fked it all up.

I might just as well go ahead and eat everything in the universe now because I've messed it up. So all the things that I was holding myself back from eating, I might as well just stuff them all in now and then tomorrow I will start again. You are not struggling with weight because you accidentally ate a bite of a cookie.

You're not overweight because you ate a donut one day. You're overweight because you ate the bite of a cookie or you ate the donut and then you ate 10 more kilos of shit food after that. That's why you're struggling with your weight.

And if you think there's a better version of you that's going to show up tomorrow because we always tell ourselves, well, I'll just stuff my face now and I'll start again tomorrow. But that is what's keeping us stuck. That's what kept me stuck in the binge and restrict cycle for 30 years because I kept telling myself I would start tomorrow and I did.

(3:48 - 7:28)

I did start again the next day, but then I'd fk it up again the next day. So I would continue to stuff my face and then say, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. I'll start again tomorrow or next Wednesday.

And I've spoken about this and I will always keep speaking about this because it's called horizon thinking, which is where you convince yourself that there is a new and better model of you. And she's just over there on the horizon waiting, and she's going to show up tomorrow. But then every time tomorrow comes, it's still just fking you.

And there you are. And you plan to be good, but that just turns into another week of waiting, another month of waiting, another year of waiting. And in that time, you continue to stuff your little face every single day.

So here is the facts of the situation. You don't have to get it, whatever it is, we don't have to get it perfect in order to lose weight. And you know, people will say, well, you know, it's not about being perfect.

It's just about being consistent. And yes, that is true. That is true.

But for us, we're not even fking getting started. We are not even getting started. We don't need to try and be perfect.

We just need to stop waiting and start kicking this game off. Put yourself on the playing field, honey, get out of the bleachers, get out of the audience, get up on the fking stage, get out on the field and start playing the game. You are never going to win at this while you keep sitting there watching everybody else play but you refuse to get in there and be a part of it.

So, okay, I knew the ass kicking was coming today. Here is the thing that I want you to understand. And one of the reasons why it is so difficult for us and why we feel like we keep making mistakes, especially as emotional eaters and binge eaters, and it's because we are essentially killing off the old, quote unquote, old version of us.

There's a version of you that you're currently living right now. And that version of you probably feels a little OOC around food. She feels a little like once I start, I can't stop.

She's the version of you that feels like, oh, God, like don't even if I just look at crackers, I'll gain weight. Like that's the current version of you. We've got all these stories we tell ourselves and we laugh.

It's so funny. But in front of other people. But on the inside, you're fking dying.

You're dying. You're killing yourself with these bullshit stories that you keep telling yourself. So, we're going to stop all of that.

But that want to say old version of you, which is actually the current version of you, we need, we don't even want to, we don't even and you don't have to, but you need to if you want to lose weight, you're going to need to kill it off. She can't, you can't keep breathing life into her and thinking that at the same time, you're going to shed all this weight and heal your relationship with food. That's fked up.

Like if I ever heard some fked up theory, that's it. It's like, it's like trying to, I don't know, stomp on a spider to kill her and then bending down every two seconds and giving it CPR. What the fk? No, if you want to kill something, kill it off good and proper.

And we need to kill off that old version of us, the version that doesn't have faith in ourselves, the version of us that doesn't believe really that we can do it. The version of us that actually tells us our bullshit stories like, once I start, I can't stop. The version of us that is like, I'm addicted to sugar, I this, I that.

You've got a whole bunch of BS stories that right now are keeping you stuck in that cycle of thinking, I have to get it perfect. And then when you don't, which of course is very normal. Nobody gets anything perfect.

Then you stuff your face and start again. And you were just in the binge and restrict cycle. You're not actually making any progress in this game at all.

(7:28 - 7:52)

You are literally like a spinning top. And if we could look at you from the outside, looking in, you look like a fking fool, really. You're just spinning in place.

It's like if kids, you know, when kids play a certain game and they're like, Hey, spin the person around. And then whoever they point at is going to be it or whatever, but you've never stopped spinning. You're just spinning like a fool.

People are waiting for you to come so that we can all start enjoying the game and living our lives. It's going to be amazing. You're just still fking spinning.

(7:52 - 9:01)

15 years later, you're spinning. You are not making any progress at all. I would rather you start getting in the game and getting involved and start following my eating codes.

Hello, for a start, follow my eating codes. Head on over to my website, carlypax.com forward slash free course, or just hit the link in the show notes. I give you the exact five eating codes that I followed to lose 20 kilos.

So you start with that. And then as you screw it up, because you will not only I can say with a hundred percent confidence, you're supposed to screw it up. That's how we learn where our bullshit stories are.

And that's how we face them and deal with those demons and kick them out of our lives. And when I say like those demons, it's the stories that come up. I can't do this.

My mom told me I would always be fat. My dad said I'd never amount to anything. It's those stories.

The minute you say no to Krispy Kremes, you're going to have to feel all those emotions that you were stuffing down with the doughnuts. All that shit's still there under the surface. Don't think just because you eat a kilo of food that it's gone.

It's not gone. You've just buried it under a bunch of sugar and fat and salt. We are not doing that anymore.

(9:01 - 13:01)

So in order to kill off that old version of you and for you to step into the shoes of someone new, the woman that you want to be, not only the woman you want to be, the woman, you know, you have the capacity to be if you would stop spinning. And you have to become someone else. You have to begin acting like this better version of you.

And I was writing down some notes before I recorded this podcast today. And I thought, what does it mean? Like if we're going to begin acting like the very best version of us, what does it actually mean to begin doing something? And I looked up the word begin, and it means to be like you've got to be. You need to be someone else.

You need to be that woman that doesn't get sucked in by every new fad diet. And then it keeps her stuck for another 30 days because you feel like shit because you couldn't do it properly. And that's the regular version of begin.

It means to be like in order, like, yeah, in essence to be, you're going to be someone or something new and different. But the biblical definition is what I like even more. And the biblical definition of begin means to grow, to change and to transform.

And that's exactly, I don't care what weight loss program you are following, whether you're using my eating codes, whether you're doing WW, Keto, Jenny, a GPO, whatever you're doing, you can use, and just FYI, you can use the eating codes with any one of those programs because they're fking common sense and they work with everything. And whatever program you are using, they're just going to expedite your results and help you lose weight faster. But you are in a place where you do need to understand that the journey is, I mean, I really hate these cliche sayings like the journey is the prize.

Like it's not where you are trying to get to like the 20, 30 kilo weight loss. That's not actually what it is that you want. They're like, well, you know, who you become in the process is what you actually are wanting.

I'm like, no, I fking want the 30 kilos gone. That's what I want. But in order for it to be gone, you do need to grow and change and transform because you will never, ever be able to do it while you are still being, trying to be who you are right now.

And yet it is uncomfortable to be someone you've never, ever, ever been before. But it's more uncomfortable to keep yourself stuck in a cycle of constantly trying to get your eating quote, unquote, perfect. Because all that leads to is procrastination, like the spinning example that I gave you before.

Perfectionism leads to procrastination. The longer you stay trying to get your eating perfect, I'm doing air quotes while I say it, the longer you spend trying to get your eating perfect, the longer you will stay in a cycle of procrastination. And it's something that I shared with my client, one of my private clients this morning, I said to her, honey, we've got to be really patient with ourselves while we are in this process of transformation and changing and becoming someone new.

Because you either decide that you're going to be patient with yourself while you learn to become someone new, or you better get pretty fking patient at being fat, because that's where you're going to spend the rest of your life if you are going to try and get it perfect every single day. So my darlings, I hope you found this helpful today. I will say that you don't need more willpower, you just need to follow your plan and not your mood.

And you don't need to be perfect, you just need to stop waiting and get in the game. Because when you start treating yourself like someone who deserves better, you stop eating like someone who doesn't. I am sending you tremendous amounts of love.

I cannot wait to see you again next week. As always, if you want to get me all up in your business on the daily and kicking your booty so you can lose that weight, come join us over inside of the Bombshell Blueprint. The link is in the show notes or head over to my website, KyliePax.com forward slash blueprint.

And I will see you in the next episode. Until then gorgeous ones, bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning in.

(13:02 - 13:19)

Remember to shimmy your butt over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the Bombshell Blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your weight now. You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.