You'll Never Feel Like Doing It So Just Get It Done!

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Transcript

What is up, you gorgeous, fabulous creatures, and welcome to another episode of the Losing It podcast. You're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's emotional eating coach, and this is the place where we come. It's a very safe place.

We like it. It's all warm and squishy here. This is where we hang out if you are ready to eliminate emotional eating, overeating, binge eating, and ready to lose that damn weight.

I was going to say off your booty, but these days we want to lose weight everywhere else but our booty. Honey, in my area, we wanted to lose weight everywhere. We wanted the booty gone.

We wanted everything gone. I just had to be basically, you just want to be like a shadow, a shadow, maybe just the waft of somebody that perhaps once existed. I grew up in that real skinny era.

Honey, we're going to have a little girly chitchat today. It's time for you and me to just sit down and have a bit of a reality check. We are now, gosh, we're like a quarter of a way through the year, pretty much.

It is time to have a bit of a, you know, let's just be honest. Let's just call it what it is. If you're not making the progress yet that you know you could have made, that you hoped you would have been making when the clock ticks over and it hit January 1st, if that's not you, we're going to need to be very real at the moment and ask ourselves why.

Now, I'm always going to be super honest with you and really transparent. I've gained some weight this year, but I planned it. It sounds like so fucked up, doesn't it? I didn't plan weight gain per se, but I knew that it would be the side effect of what I did plan to do initially this year, which was I knew that I was ready to level up and let go of the next stage, the next phase, maybe hopefully, fingers crossed, it's the last and final stage of emotional eating, binge eating, like that sort of thing.

I wasn't really binge eating, not for many years now, but binges can look and shapeshift as you change, like and as you progress in your journey. What used to be a really out of control binge now, though I was just out of my mind, I would never do that now because I'm just, I'm too far along my journey, but a binge now would just look like me eating a whole packet of chips when that was not what I even wanted. I'm just doing this, I'm bored or mad, sad, glad or, you know, feeling bad, any of those things.

(2:14 - 3:58)

So I knew, I just felt in my gut that I was ready to let go of that next layer. But in order to do that, every time this happens, and it happens every few years for me, this is not like, you know, every couple of weeks or months, this happens every few years when I really feel okay, I can feel that I have grown as a woman, as a person, I'm very different now. And I went through such wild experiences last year.

Well, in the last couple of years, really, that I am not even remotely the same person that I was initially. And I know that and I love who I am now so much because of the really, really, really, really challenging times that I went through in the last 24 months. I am now so much stronger, sexier, savvier, I'm a fucking beast.

Like you can't fuck with me now. That's who I am as a result. The harder the shit is if for any of you that are going through some hard shit, believe me, nobody likes hard shit.

Shit that is hard, is not pleasurable. But who you become on the other side of that, I wouldn't give this woman up for anything. If I had to go through all the drama again, I would just to be who I am now because I am so deeply infatuated with who I am now.

I'm like, I am fucking awesome. I love who I am. I love what I stand for.

I love the woman I've become. But the eating remnants of any eating disordered eating, whatever the fuck, any of that, that I had no longer matched with the woman that I am. And I felt that it had to go.

It's just like trying to put on an outfit that doesn't fit anymore. It's too big for you or it's too tight for you. It's like, honey, it just doesn't fit.

(3:58 - 6:42)

It looks ridiculous when you try to wear it. It needs to go. And in order to do that, the way it usually works for me is that I give myself complete, I don't know, no holds barred reign to just go and eat anything that I want, as much of it as I want.

And I have to do it for as long as it takes for me to feel like I am so over this fucking bullshit. This doesn't fit with my persona. I don't like it.

I don't even enjoy this stupid food. And that's what I've been doing over the last three months. Now, it doesn't mean I haven't been binging for three months.

What it would look like on a typical day for me is instead of getting up and being like uber all over my, you know, I'm going to have a whatever. I've never been one for a high protein breakfast, but I'll be like, OK, I'm going to have my green drinks. I'm going to have this.

I'm going to have that. It's like, I don't know. I'm not really fast.

And I would perhaps get a muffin or something if I felt later down the track. Lunch would be, I don't know, like it's not I'm not being a piggy. Lunch would be maybe some sushi or maybe I'll just grab some crackers as I'm running through and doing stuff.

And dinner is pretty much just a wholesome dinner. You know, I'm really trying to think of what's changed yet. But no, no, no.

Rather than making like saying, OK, Kylie, you need to eat salad every single night, which is what I would probably previously have done and be like, I don't want fucking salad. I don't want another salad. I'm going to eat stir fry or we're going to go out or we're going to have Thai or we're going to get fish and chips.

I would just not stress about it, whereas previously I'd be like, I don't know, I don't really think I should have fish and chips. We had it last night or, you know, that's too much fat or all those thoughts were still there with me. But now I'm like, Phil would say, you want to go and we'll get pizza or we'll order takeaway.

I'm like, yep, yep, I'm totally in. I refuse to consider how much weight I was going to gain and let that be a factor. I just allow myself to thoroughly be indulged and enjoying my life, whatever that looked like, whether that looked like we ate takeaway every night or whether that looked like Phil cooked because I don't cook or whether that did end up many, many nights it was salad.

We went through a huge Thai salad phase and that's what we're having just every single night for ages. It's fine. But the point is, it wasn't even so much what I was eating.

It was the point that I refused to let the fat content, the salt, well, not really the salt, but the calories, the fat, the carbs, all of that. I refuse to let that be the defining factor on what I ate. I ate what I enjoyed.

I ate what I felt good about. I have been eating like probably an obscene amount of barbecue shapes now for three months because that's just one of the things that I've always loved. And it's reached a point where I'm like, I don't want to see another fucking barbecue shape.

(6:42 - 7:02)

I don't care about them anymore. I'm over them and I'm done. And I knew that's what I needed to do in order to let myself finally feel free around those sorts of food.

Because until I did that, there would always be a part of me that every single time I walked through the shoppings, the aisle at the store, I'd be like, barbecue shapes. Oh, I want them so badly. Better not.

(7:03 - 7:15)

But it was always there. And eventually, you know, every so often, if they ever did come into the house, I would just stuff my face on them. Now, I'm like, I can have them.

I can have them anytime I want them. There's a packet in the cupboard now. I don't really give a rat's ass.

(7:15 - 9:21)

I don't care about stupid barbecue shapes. But it was what I needed to do. I call this the never ending supply method.

So it's a tactic that I have used in the past anytime I've been ready to level up. And what I would do is I would fill my cupboards with all of my favorite foods, the things that I would kind of never let myself have. And then I would just eat them at the rate that I wanted to eat them with the understanding that the minute any of it was gone, so the barbecue shapes would be gone, or the chocolate that I love was gone, or the M&Ms were gone, whatever it was, the minute that they finished, I just went back and bought more.

So the urgency in my head of the previous sort of urgency in my head, I've got to eat them, I've got to eat them all, I've got to eat them before somebody else gets them. I've got to eat them all now because tomorrow I'm going to start a new diet. All of that was eliminated, because I knew those things were going to be in my house on a never ending supply.

And suddenly it went from, I've got to have it, I've got to have it now to, it doesn't matter, I can sit there for six months, I don't care, because it's going to be there for the rest of my life. And I'm free to have it, it doesn't matter anymore. So I talked to you about this in full transparency, because I'm never going to sit here and try and bullshit you and say, I'm the most perfect, look at me, I'm so amazing, and my body is ripped.

I'm like, it's not fucking ripped. It's quite marshmallow at the moment. But this is where I was ready and prepared to be for my next stage of fucking glow up.

So now I can truly say I'm really excited about restarting a fresh new exercise program, something that I feel really excited about, and really good and really into. I am really ignited once again, about getting back into my fresh whole foods, which is what my background has always been, and I've always loved. But I convinced myself that I could never have all these other junk foodie things that I thought was so fantastic.

And the more I told myself I couldn't have them, the more I wanted them. And the more I wanted them, the more I didn't want my fresh, green, wholesome foods and all the things that I would normally really enjoy. But I felt so deprived and so restricted in all the other areas.

(9:21 - 9:36)

I just wasn't enjoying any of it. And that's a bullshit place to be. So once I gave myself carte blanche to be able to have any and all of it, then I felt free to have what I truly wanted.

(9:36 - 10:02)

And I promise you, girls, as much as you think, I want, I want the junk food all the time. If I could have it 24 hours on rotation, I would. As much as you think that's what is actually true for you, I promise that it isn't.

Nobody, nobody's body naturally wants to feel like shit and look like shit. We all want to feel great and energetic and amazing. We all want to thrive in our lives.

(10:02 - 11:52)

And we all know intrinsically what is going to get us there. So now that I've reached a place where I feel really good about the direction that I'm heading for the remainder of this year, I now get to recognise and understand that I might be in let's go get it mode right now. I might be feeling enthusiastic and motivated right now.

But come tomorrow morning, I might feel like a piece of shit and not want to do it and don't care and not want to do any of it. But the difference is I have now made a decision. The line has been drawn in the sand.

And if you don't know the root meaning or the origin of the word decision, it comes from the original Latin, which is in two separate parts. So it's D size. So in the same way that you a doctor will not ask a doctor would make an incision if in our bodies if they were going to operate, they would cut into you.

A decision is where you fucking cut something off. And if you've cut something off, that shit is not coming back. So when you make a decision, you also now are declaring to yourself, I don't care how I feel about this tomorrow, the decision has been made, it is time for me to now just get up and get on with it.

If you are now going to let your feelings rule every decision that you make, you're going to you're going to find yourself exactly where you are now at December this year. Come December, you'll be like, well, you know, it's nearly January for next year. I guess I'll try again then.

No, I had a very strategic plan of exactly what I was going to do this year and how it was going to be done. I was prepared to gain three or four kilos. You know, there was a time when I couldn't even that would send me screaming off into the light into the sunset.

Oh, my God, four kilos, like three kilos. No way. I'm not gaining that.

(11:53 - 12:58)

It's a fucking nothing compared to having a life of freedom to feeling good and in control and feeling like you are the master of food and it's not the fucking master of you. I am so I am in my element now. You can tell.

Like I said, I'm fucking infatuated with myself. I feel like I'm amazing right now and not in an egotistical way, in an I am so proud of myself for sticking with it, for doing what was hard and for doing what was uncomfortable. I didn't love feeling my genes and everything get tighter, but I also knew that this wasn't going to be forever.

I also knew when I started this that I may not gain any weight at all. And quite frankly, for the level of freedom that I feel now around food, three or four kilos is fucking nothing. I would have done it for 30 kilos.

Don't stress. If any of you did decide to do this, you wouldn't gain 30. You wouldn't gain 30 kilos because you're not going to do it that long.

Your body is so smart. It doesn't take long for it to figure out, hang on, things have changed here. She's not acting like a crazy person around food anymore.

(12:58 - 13:11)

Your body takes only a short time. For me, it's been 10 weeks, really. It hasn't even been three months.

It's been 10 weeks. And I'm like, you know what? I'm done. I just know it in my bones.

(13:11 - 15:55)

I'm done. And I am ready to step back into my full, powerful, badass bitch self and just fucking crush the rest of the year. And in order to do that, I also am fucking smart enough to recognise that I'm not going to feel like this every day.

I feel like this today and it's great. Let me take advantage of it. But I might not feel like it tomorrow.

I might not feel like it next Wednesday or a month from Tuesday. I might not. But those are the times when I will do it regardless of whether I feel great about it or not, whether I feel motivated or not, whether I feel excited about it or not.

You're not always going to feel like doing it. That doesn't matter. Your job is not to feel like doing it.

Your job is just to fucking get about doing it. And when we talk about it, what is it? Well, for me, it's following the eating codes, the five steps that helped me lose 20 kilos to start with. It's eating code number one, which is to only eat when you're hungry.

And if you're not hungry, you don't fucking eat. Better back away from the food. If you're not hungry, you're not putting it in your mouth.

Eating code number two is to follow your plan and not your mood. You basically make a little plan, whether you do that in your head or whether you do it on a sticky note each morning. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks.

What do I intend to eat today? Do I intend to eat 55,000 boxes of barbecue shapes? Or do I intend to feed myself some nutritious fucking food so that I feel amazing and I feel good and I feel proud and energized? Is what do I intend to eat? And then you stick to that plan. The third eating code is to stop eating at 80% full. That's the magic weight loss code.

So I don't care that I gained a couple of kilos because I know that that will be gone in absolutely no time. Because the minute I implement my five eating codes again, it's done. It's already a done deal.

I will start dropping weight immediately, really fast, because you stop eating at 80% full. The fourth eating code is that your feelings don't get to vote, which is everything we've been talking about today. You just do it whether you feel like doing it or not.

The fourth eating code really covers your nighttime emotional eating. You know when you start getting all snacky and picky, like, I just want to eat. I just feel like, I just feel like something.

Is there any chips in the house? Is there any crackers in the house? It doesn't matter. Your feelings don't get to vote. You already know you've got a plan for the day.

You're going to stick to the damn plan. And then the fifth eating code is, as so many of you know, act like the person you want to become. What does that look like? It looks like you understanding that your mind is a shopping mall.

There's a whole shopping mall up there, and only you decide what stores you're going to go shopping in that day. Are you going to go shopping in the, I'm a badass store? I'm going to go shopping in the, I'm badass and bougie store? I'm a badass babe store. Are you going to go shopping in the, I'm a piece of trash store? I can't do this store.

(15:55 - 16:28)

I'll always be a binge eater store. What store are you going to go shopping in? Because whatever store you go into in your mind, you're going to leave with the thoughts that are in that store. Don't think that you could go browsing around in the $2 shop up there in your mind and come out with some really empowering thoughts.

That isn't how it's going to work. You can go across the street and find yourself in the, I don't know, I'm a fucking diva store and I'm powerful. How about we shop in that store and bring out the thoughts that are in that store? That's what it looks like to act like the person you want to become.

(16:28 - 17:42)

So my darlings, if this resonates with you and you appreciate the honesty today, then I'm really happy and I'm really grateful and I'm awfully thankful. If you feel like this podcast is helping you or you're freshly new here and you want to leave a review, please go ahead and do that. I'll be so grateful to you.

That's your Disney ride for the day. But until next week, my darlings, please remember the only person who knows how to change your life is you. When you step up and understand that, yeah, your feelings really don't get to vote.

If you want to see yourself achieving great things in life, whether that be achieving some big ass career goal, family goal, or breaking up with emotional eating and stopping binge eating so you can start feeling empowered of your life, then it is time for you to recognise that you won't always feel like doing what you know needs to be done, but you can still get the fuck up and do it anyway. Just get that job done. I am sending you love.

I will see you again next week. Until then gorgeous ones, bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning in.

Remember to shimmy your butt over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now. You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.