Why You’re Still Binge Eating (And How to Stop)

In this juicy little truth bomb of an episode, I’m serving up ten mind-bending journal prompts that will slap your emotional eating square in the face. If you’re a woman who’s sick of binge eating, stuck in a weight loss rut, and secretly terrified of what happens if you actually succeed (yep, I see you 👀), this one’s for you. We’re talking emotional eating recovery, food addiction, weight loss mindset, self-sabotage, body image healing, overeating, binge triggers, weight loss for women, and all the emotional junk food drama your brain has been hoarding. Warning: These questions are not for the faint of heart, but neither is living in a body you secretly hate. Let’s go!

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Transcript

 Oh, hey girl. Hey. Welcome to the Losing It podcast. You are here with Kylie Pax, your emotional eating coach, and you've arrived and landed in a brand new episode, fresh out the oven. Bitches. It's fresh out the oven. I cannot be swearing at people. Welcome to the Losing It Podcast. We are diving today into 10 of the most powerful questions I have ever created.

They're totally going to annihilate your issues with emotional eating so that you can start losing that damn weight, and this question's gonna blow your mind because they blew my mind. First of all, before we dive into them, I just wanna thank everybody for like coming onto this new channel that I've created here for liking, loving, and sharing most of all, because as we continue to share this message, we set more and more women free, and that is all I care about.

The men can fucking fend for themselves, quite frankly. I really don't give a shit. So let's dive on in. Because I'm gonna unmask five different parts of your life and your thought processes that you probably never thought about before. All we think is, what is wrong with me? Why can't I not do this? Why is everybody else seem to have their shit together with food except me?

I. I'm about to tell you that we always have a reason for what we're doing, and it's a really damn good reason. So if you find yourself half in, half out, if you find yourself, I'm still scoffing down Easter eggs after the Easter weekend. If you're thinking, I don't know, I still can't get my shit together, and I'm thinking, I'm just gonna give up completely and go get surgery, honey.

Go get the surgery, take the inject, do, or anything that you need to do. But use this in conjunction with it. That's the beauty of my eating codes, my five eating codes. If you haven't got those, just skip on over to my website or hit the link in the show notes, kylie packs.com/free course where I give away the exact five step process that I use to lose 20 kilos.

But that's the beauty of my five eating codes. When you get that blueprint, you can use it with any other methods. So if you're doing WW or you are doing the. The injections or you are doing the surgery, whatever you need to do, it's fine. You can use the eating codes. In fact, you fucking should be using the eating codes with those other methods.

Otherwise even they cannot last. So we're gonna dive straight in to this very first section because this one is so mysterious and sexy. We're talking about unmasking your hidden contracts. You're like, girl, I got a hidden contract with someone. Yeah, bitch. Yourself. We have hidden contracts with ourselves.

I used to call these hidden agendas, but it's the same damn thing. What are you really agreeing to by keeping yourself stuck in this holding pattern? And listen, I was stuck there for 30 years, so if you think you're talking to somebody who's all high and mighty now. No, no, sis. I know exactly what it's like.

I used to eat food out the bin. I used to, uh, hide wrappers and things like in drawers. I, I did the most abhorrent things to hide my addiction. Really like addiction to sabotaging myself. I used to do anything in everything. I was just so underhanded. So that people wouldn't really know the state that I was in because there was, you know, the anorexia, the bulimia, all of it was going on and I kept it hidden from everybody for years.

So my question to you is, what hidden contracts have you made with yourself that you don't even know are there? I'm gonna give you these first two questions today, and they're gonna help you unveil any hidden contracts that you might have made with yourself deep down. 'cause you are on the surface are all like.

Kylie, I totally wanna lose weight. I really wanna stop this emotional eating and I want to lose weight. I've been wanting it my whole entire life. But girl, if you really, truly felt safe doing that, you would have fucking done it by now. So I'm gonna start with these first two questions, and these are not surface level questions.

These are the kind of questions that when you really sit with them, it can change your entire relationship with your food, your body, and yourself. So if you've been feeling stuck and feeling like something deeper is holding you back, this one is for you. So the first question for you to journal on or think about.

Is what secret contracts have I made with myself about my weight, visibility and safety. We often use our weight. Subconsciously as a shield to protect us from something I've mentioned before that when I was very young, uh, teenager, I had several men mess with me. So I was sexually assaulted and then I was raped, and because of that, I really struggled with my weight.

Over the, I had struggled prior to that, but I really struggled in the years after that, mainly because I felt if I can remain what society would call unattractive, so by holding on all this extra weight, then I'll be safe from men. But you know, we know that's not ever gonna be a thing, but What secret contracts or agreements have you made with yourself about visibility?

And safety when it comes to your weight. The second question that slots right into this pigeonhole is, and if weight wasn't the problem, what would I have to face? Instead? Reflect on what emotional truths could be hiding under you. Keeping your focus just. Solely on your body? Well, I can't pay attention to my shitty marriage right now because I have to focus on this weight loss.

I can't pay attention to the fact that my child is struggling with drugs because I really have to focus on my weight loss. I can't focus on, you know, the shit career that they keep overlooking me for promotions. I can't focus on the business that I wanna start, but I don't have the guards. 'cause you know, I'm very busy over here focusing on my weight.

There is something that if we completely took this issue with food and your weight away. What would be left if the food and weight was just a blanket over your life and I whipped the blanket off of your life, what would be exposed that you do not want to face right now? These questions are. So important because once you know the answers to these, you will have a literal roadmap to why you've been making the choices you've been making, and I'm gonna step you through how to change that.

So that's section one. The second section, we're talking about loyalty and loss and emotional ties. What do I mean by that? We all have a. Friend, usually a bestie, sometimes it's even a parent. So a lot of women have their moms, their sisters, or a best friend. And the two of you have always struggled with your weight together?

Always. I had that with my bestie. We struggled with our weight together. Four years. We would diet together, we would binge together, we would go on the latest cleanse together, and then we would go and stuff our faces together and we thought it was the thing that bonded us. It was our little. Secret. It was like, Ooh, look at us.

We're being so naughty. We would go to the shops together and buy a whole heap of junk and then we would go to the gym together. It was the thing that glue that held us together. So the next question for you to explore is how has your emotional eating. Kept you connected to someone and are you afraid to let go of that connection?

There's always some inherited patterns or emotional loyalties to people that we really love that could be at risk if you. Stop this process. If you let it go and you, let's say you use my five eating codes and that's it. You have no more issues with emotional eating and the weight starts dripping off of your body.

Who in your life is now gonna turn to you and say, Ooh, so you think you're so good now? Or you can't, oh, you can't hang out with us anymore because you're not gonna eat the same food 'cause you think you're all out. There's somebody who you feel would turn on you. Or you would lose the connection that you have right now.

Then the question to follow up with that is, what identity have I unconsciously built around my food struggles and who might reject me if I stop struggling? Like I said, there's going to be some kind of struggle and connection where we feel this helps us belong to our besties. It keeps us connected to the people that we love.

I was even well into my forties when I 'cause this honeys. I hate to disappoint you, but this never stops. You are always going to be growing and learning and stepping up to the next level. Of promotion really for yourself as you break through these barriers that we have with food and our mental and emotional state.

So I was, well in my forties. My marriage had broken down. I was at home living on my own at the time, and this new habit just started popping up where every time I would say to myself, okay, it's time to go to bed now. I would always first make a beeline for the kitchen pantry. Stuff my face with albeit healthy foods like goji berries, maybe some dried fruit, maybe a few nuts and, and some crackers and a bit of dark chocolate.

And then I would go to bed, but it became a ritual that I couldn't go to bed until I'd done this last little chipmunk situation, stuffing my cheeks full of food. And then I would wander off down the hall to brush my fangs and, and go to bed. And I had to work through it myself. And I realized. There was a connection to my mom.

My mom. I was on my own, living on my own. It was the first time in my life I had nobody with me, and I was learning to adapt and thrive in that environment, and I felt. Disconnected from everybody that I loved and cared for in my life. My husband had left me. I had no children. I had Miss Molly, my Chihuahua, but no exactly the same thing.

And of course I had all my best years, my girlfriends, but they're living their own lives. They're not sitting around with me chit-chatting all night every night. I felt that I didn't have a strong connection or a love connection in my life at that time. And so doing this by stuffing my face every night right before I went to bed, it was like a bedtime kiss from my mom when I was little.

It was like she was putting me to bed. So I, once I realized that I could then recognize that and let it go because I could comfort myself now and tell myself, I don't need that. I'm okay. I'm a big girl, and it's all right for me to go to bed without the chipmunk squirrel situation. Now the third section that we're going to look at is really the truth behind binging.

I mean, we've all done it well, we've all been here. Babe, if you're listening to this podcast, I know you're bing. You're probably bingeing this Easter weekend. It's just gone by. So the theme of this is to really ask yourself, what am I not trying to feel? In the moments that you overeat, what is it that you are trying not to know, not to be aware of?

What do you not want to have to look at, deal with or face? When you dive into that food and you can just block out everything else, what is it that you are telling yourself you can avoid seeing or admitting to yourself? And then the follow up question from that would be, and what emotion do I refuse to feel flat out?

How does eating to excess help me avoid that? You need to go even deeper into the emotional food and a seizure that you're administering to yourself and figure out, is this working? When I used to binge heavily, I just didn't for, sometimes it's. A deeper reason, but sometimes it's also, I just didn't want the discomfort of saying no to myself.

Once this issue was over with food entirely in my life, I felt that I was going to lose a lot of things. I felt that I was going to lose my connection with the girls in my courses. Because this was what kept us connected. If my entire struggle with food was gone, how would I stay connected to them? How would I run a business?

And then how if I couldn't run a business because I had no more issues with food, where would my livelihood come from? So my brain like extrapolated that me stopping emotional eating would mean I would be homeless and on the street and. Probably living in a cardboard box. So of course I wasn't going to let it go entirely.

It makes sense, but you can't figure that out until you work backwards by using these questions. The next section or section number four that, or, well question number seven, but the next sort of section that I wanna look at is whose story are you really living out when you are? Binging or overeating or refusing to lose weight.

And when I say refusing, it's kind of what we are doing when we lose a kilo but then gain back three. Well, Kylie, I can lose weight, but then I gain it back every time, of course, because very often we are not even living our own stories. So question number seven is what story do you keep telling yourself about your body that doesn't belong to you?

We all have internalized voices from parents. Different cultures, past relationships. I had stories from my, I mean, when I was a teenager, I ran out to see my beautiful grandfather. One time he'd come over to visit. I loved him with all my heart and the first thing he said to me was, he didn't hug me. He didn't greet me at all.

He just looked me dead in the eyes and said, you need to visit Jenny. And I thought, okay. And I love you too. And to this day, the poor, beautiful man has been dead for I don't know how many years, but I remember that about him. I had stories that my mom would tell me about, well, you are just bigger boned.

Okay, it doesn't matter. That's how the women run in our family. These types of things. I internalized and then would tell myself, well, it's just how I am. It's always gonna be harder for me to lose weight because I have, uh. Slow metabolism, or I have hypothyroidism, or I have lupus. I would insert any of the issues that I had, the health and medical issues at the time.

I'm like, well, of course, of course, of course it makes sense then that I totally wouldn't be able to lose weight because of these issues, and whilst medical issues may provide a challenge for you. We can all master what goes in our mouth. Let's not entirely fool ourselves. So the next question, following up from that would be, who taught you that food was a solution and that this was an okay way for you to cope with life?

I know that came from my beautiful mom as well. She wasn't a binger like myself or my brother. Like, 'cause my brother as well has lost 20 to 25 and 30 kilos multiple times in his life. Right now he's at the stage of extreme weight loss. So he thinks this is fabulous, but I've watched him, Yo-Yo, throughout our lives, it's happened together.

So what emotional eating have you been following just because it's been modeled or passed? Down to you. My mom raised us with, Friday night was lolly night. If we were very good, we got treats. Sometimes it can be just as simple as that. So then when certain events come around like a birthday or particular times of year, you now are no longer eating 'cause you even want or care about the food you are eating.

From a memory. With this Easter that just passed, I was just. Smelling the Easter eggs and just the smell of that chocolate. It made me feel like I was five years old again. And I was little and my mom was there to take care of me because she's not here anymore. And my heart just breaks every single day 'cause I miss her so, so much.

And for those of you that have lost a loved one, you will know it's something you never, ever get over. And very often we can then turn to food as a connection or way to stay connected to them. So bearing that in mind. This is the last section that I wanna look at. And this one is big and I should have put like a, a trigger warning from the start.

'cause I know this has been the biggest, biggest reason for me in my whole entire life of why I have allowed the struggle with food to continue. And it's the fear of success we think, and we tell ourselves, but I'm scared it won't work. But I'm gonna call bullshit on that. I think you're more scared that it will work.

So the, the next question, or question number nine is what version of myself am I afraid to become if I truly succeed at weight loss? I. There is always an underlying fear of change. Like I mentioned earlier, visibility, power, and potentially new expectations. You might be in a position now where you're holding so much weight on your body that people don't actually expect much from you, and that might be just.

Fine with you. You are no longer expected to attend the particular holidays or vacations, or you don't have to do set up or pull down for certain events. You don't have to show up at certain things because they know, well, don't bother asking her because of her size. Don't ask Kylie because of her size.

You know, she can't do that. You don't have to do the family walks or the beach days and the things that you quite frankly don't want to do because of your size. And the next question that you can ask yourself after that is, and this one is so powerful. If I never struggled with emotional eating again, what would I lose or have to give up?

Honey, this will give you a hauntingly honest look. The comfort that you are gleaning from food, the identity, your self identity that you're currently relating to food and the safety that you have tied to this struggle that you're still allowing to keep going. I, all I knew in my life was struggle with food.

That's all I've ever known. And to let go of that was more terrifying to me than holding onto the extra weight. I would let my little myself lose some weight, but not all of it. Never all I needed to keep the struggle going to some degree because it's who I was. Who would I be without it? What would I do without it?

I don't know anything without it. As I often say, nobody wants to wake up tomorrow and feel like they've got amnesia and they dunno who they are. I am the girl who struggles with her weight. I am the girl who's always on a diet. My friends are always asking me about weight loss tips and so forth, because they also know this is who I am.

It's my entire identity. Do I want to forget who I am? Who would I be? Who would I have to create as a new version of me if this was all gone there? That right there, this particular question is the biggest game changer for you. If you only picked one question from today's episode, I would pick this one.

If you never struggled with emotional eating again, if you woke up tomorrow and it was all entirely gone, what would be gone from your life apart from the weight? What would be gone? What would you have to lose, give up, or never be able to do again? There are things there that you have mistakenly attached a lot of pleasure or joy to that are probably right now holding you back.

Well, I wouldn't be able to eat my favorite foods anymore. Who fucks is that As if I eat my favorite foods every day. I never go a day without chocolate. I can have my favorite foods every day. We work them into the blueprint. It's all part of my blueprint. That's how I've lost four and a half kilos so far this month, using my blueprint and still eating chocolate every day, sometimes multiple times a day.

Because the blueprint works there, you will not have to lose anything. Most certainly not yourself. So I acknowledge that these questions may certainly have brought up some emotion or resistance. If you've already turned me off, it's too late. I can't be talking to you anymore, but you might have a, have a really strong desire to turn.

So I don't wanna listen to this, I just don't wanna listen to it. But I promise you, if you're feeling that way, you also have the equal and opposite ability to get clarity from it. If you will journal freely cry. If you need to revisit the hard questions, I know you're going to get the answers out of this that you need in order to move forward.

And if you wanna go ahead, feel free to DM me your biggest ahas on your journal entry. Come find me over on Insta. And I thank you all again for the sharing and the acknowledgement of this podcast and the changes that it is making in women's lives. I am so honored to be doing this work. And of course, you know, I'm gonna say next if you wanna go deeper with me.

These are the kinds of questions that we work through inside of the Bombshell Blueprint, and that's the space where women who are ready to really stop emotional eating and live freely and fully can come to get that shit done. That's where I hold you accountable all day, every day. The link is in the show notes or just come visit me over@kyliep.com slash.

Bombshell Blueprint. slash blueprint. I'm sending you tremendous amounts of love. I will see you again next week. I hope you have an incredible end to your week, my loves. Until then, bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning in. Remember to shimmy your butt over to kylie pax.com and join me inside of the Bombshell Blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and.

Start losing your way. Now. You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I'll see you next week.