Stop Acting Like the Old You

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Transcript

What is up, you gorgeous, fabulous creatures? Welcome back to the show where we end emotional eating and lose weight without losing our damn minds. You're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's emotional eating coach. And I want to ask you a wee little question today.

(0:14 - 1:21)

Are you still waiting for that magical version of you, the version that it's going to take to lose the weight and stop emotional eating? Are you waiting for her to show up? You know, that confident version of you, the one who's got her ass in gear, the one that's sort of finally feeling like she's in control around food, that version of you. Because here is the truth bomb that nobody but me is going to tell you today. She's not coming, honey.

She's never going to arrive. And the reason is because you are already her. But, but, but, but, there's a huge caveat, only if you are bold enough to start acting like her now.

So today we are diving into the fifth and final of my eating codes, which is eating code number five, act like the person you want to become and why your entire life will change the second that you stop breaking character. Now, have you ever thought, I know what to do, but I just can't seem to do it? Well, honey, this episode is going to hit you like a freight train, but only the very best way. I promise.

(1:21 - 3:01)

So let's go. Now, if you ever saw the movie many years ago called Sliding Doors with Gwyneth Paltrow, and I don't know, some other randoms in it, then you will know that this was quite a game changing movie because it brought to the fore the theory that tiny little micro decisions can change the entire course of your life. Now, I don't feel like, you know, I need to give you a spoiler alert.

This movie must be 20 years old now or something, but the juice, so I'm going to tell you what happens. The juice of it was that Gwyneth was playing the main role, the lead role, and she was fabulous. And what happened was she had a boyfriend who was, I don't know, a bit of a bum and Gwyneth went off to work every day.

And she came home early one day to find her boyfriend screwing around in the apartment. And there was this moment where she was on her way home and in one scene, she caught the train and then she got home and caught her boyfriend cheating. And in another version of the same scene, she missed the train and never caught her cheating boyfriend.

And the movie goes on to show how her life would have evolved in each one of those scenarios. Now, I'm a huge believer in this and I don't subscribe to the theory that it's only the big, major, life-shifting earthquake moments in our lives that change the trajectory of our destiny. I believe that it's also and equally the tiny little micro decisions that you make all day, every day that are building, if not even more so, that are building your destiny and your outcome.

(3:01 - 4:06)

Will I eat that extra donut or won't I? Am I going to make excuses today or am I not? This type of bullshit is what is keeping you stuck right now in years and years of emotional eating that could have ended so long ago, it's embarrassing for you. Now, if you've been searching the net for a coach, somebody who could give you a meal plan and a workout plan, that is not me, honey, that is not me. But if you are looking for a coach who can help you with your emotional eating and your mindset, eliminate binge eating in real time and help you lose weight, then yes, you've landed in the right place.

Because I'm going to go through three discussion points today that you probably haven't even thought of before, reasons why you are still stuck in emotional eating hell and how to get out in a way that you will be out permanently and not be skipping back into that playground ever again. And the first one is that you have fucking forgotten how powerful you are. Now, this is not surprising because as women, we are never told that we are strong and powerful.

(4:06 - 8:24)

That is a role best left to men. Oh, need to change a light bulb? Call a man. No, honey, not in my world.

You are, in fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and say more powerful than any man out there. Can a man create life in his uterus? No, he cannot. So honey, it is time for us as women to step up and remember how powerful we are.

You have been taught by a male dominated diet industry that you are too stupid to figure this shit out on your own. I want to remind you that the stupid one, honey, is not you. So what if your future self isn't someone you even need to grow into? She's someone you already are if you would start making the right choices to allow her to come out.

Underneath all your self-doubt and emotional eating and the need for perfectionism, she's already fucking there. But you are sitting in this cycle of Groundhog Day and making the same bullshit decisions day in, day out. I'm going to have coffee today and then I'm going to binge tonight.

I'm going to have cereal for breakfast and then I'm going to have a sandwich. You're making the same shitty decisions, well not that there's anything wrong with cereal or a sandwich, but you're making the same boring ass decisions day in, day out like you don't have any other options available to you and then you're wondering why nothing changes. How about instead of getting up at 8.30 and scrambling your way to work, why don't you try getting up at 7 and go for a fucking walk? That is what the ideal version of you would do.

That version who already has the hot body, she doesn't emotionally eat anymore, I'm pretty sure that she's getting some movement into her day. And if you're like, well maybe she is Kylie but she's not going for a walk, my weather is terrible here. Well what you already know, I really restrained myself from swearing there, but I said what the fuck would she be doing? You know, because I don't know what your ideal self would be doing.

I don't know what your 10x version of you would be doing. I know what mine would be doing, she would be getting up, she'd be moving her ass regardless of the weather. She would be journaling each morning and planning her meals each day.

She would be sticking to the fucking plan, which is another one of the eating codes, regardless of how she felt about it, because she values her body and how she feels and her performance more than she values shoving in some fucking chemical filled cheap ass chocolate into her mouth. This version of you has always been there, she's always existed, but you've just been forgetting about her. Eating code number five isn't self-improvement, this is about self-reconnection.

So if you're inside of my Bombshell Blueprint membership, you know something that I talk about a lot in there is the RAS or your reticular activating system. It's the filter that our brain has, it sits at the base of our spine and the brain and it's like a glittery hairnet and it lives in there and it filters in and out what it believes to be relevant and true for you. So once you begin to identify as that girl, your brain is going to start collecting the proof that you already are her and suddenly you will see the things around you that prove it to be true.

You'll start seeing more check marks on your Bombshell calendar and planner that you'll see, yeah, I am that girl, I have been following my plan for 30 days now, that's why I've lost seven kilos. You will start to see these things, things that were available to you before, but you were just making the false decisions that were keeping you in the negative instead of in the positive. Now, the second reason that you keep falling out of character right now and not acting the way that you know you should and would be acting if you were already in your dream and ideal body is because you are putting on the wrong damn costumes each day.

The wardrobe department has called, honey, and they want their shitty clothing back. It is time for you to upgrade. Your current identity right now is just a character.

It's a mishmash of a character that you have rehearsed for decades, absolutely decades, but just like any other actor on the screen or IRL, you can swap out your script. It is not written in stone. You living Groundhog Day each day, that's a fucking choice.

(8:25 - 11:08)

You deciding to change something up, also a damn choice, and if you want something different, you don't even need to do different, you need to become different. You need to let that ideal version of you out. Stop being so damn afraid of her.

If your current character that you're living as, because we all live as a certain character, and you might think, I'm not a character, I'm a person. Yeah, but you behave with certain characteristics depending on what's going on and who you're around. When you're around your parents, you don't act with the same characteristics that you do when you're with your lover.

My God, I hope not. When you are with your lover, you don't act with the same characteristics that you do when you're with your children or when you're with your workmates. You have a different character for every different occasion.

Well, it's time for you to create the damn character for weight loss, results, and no more emotional eating. That's what we do inside of the bombshell journal, but if you don't have that, then you're going to need to figure that shit out. Is she eating every night in secret? Is she saying I'll start again on Monday? Because if that's what she's doing, it's time to fire her.

She can no longer be a part of your script. So start asking yourself questions like, what would the version of me that I want to be, that ideal 10X version of me, my future self, would she eat this right now? Would she do this now? Would she say this right now? Would she avoid doing this right now? Would she be thinking this way? Would she keep the same standards that I've got now? Would she fucking level up? And if she leveled up, how high would she go? And to what level would she go? Because something that nobody talks about when they talk about raising standards is that when you raise your top level, by default, you automatically raise your bottom level as well. What I mean by that is, if you are currently sitting around at night and you're eating an entire tub of ice cream every night and wishing that things could be different, then you might start leveling up slowly.

This is where we fuck it up because we think that's it. I'm not eating any more ice cream again. And we throw all the ice cream out the house.

Well, that's just not realistic. Your body would crave the chemicals and the colors and the sugars. It would crave that stuff because you've been giving it to it night after night for probably years.

So your initial level up would be, I'm not going to eat a whole container tonight and I'm not going to eat a half. And then your next level up might be, okay, now I'm only going to eat a quarter. And now I'm just going to have a spoon.

And you continue to make these level ups. But what happens is we inevitably do binge because it's just part of our nature. If you're listening to this as an emotional eater, binging may well end up being part of your life for the long term.

But don't freak out. Don't freak out. Because as a lifelong binger, I am telling you that this is what I mean when I talk about raising the top level and the bottom level.

(11:09 - 13:12)

As I continue to raise my top level standards, my bottom level increases as well. A binge for me years ago would have been stuffing my face with everything in the house until I was physically sick. But it's not now.

It's not. If I do feel like I've overeaten and I can feel like that binge urge coming on, it's not a big deal anymore. I might have two or three rows of chocolate.

And then that's it. It's over. My bottom level has been raised.

So take a look at the current identity of the character that you are playing out each and every day. Because like I said, you've rehearsed her for decades. But it's time to flip the script.

So if your current character is the one who overthinks every single calorie and eats in secret at night and tells herself she's going to start again every Monday, she is out skiing. And it's time to start asking yourself some different questions so you can get clarity around who this next version of you would be. One of the main things I like to ask myself is at any given time, if I was going to be my next level me, what would I need to start doing? What would I need to stop doing? And then what am I currently doing that I would want to keep? Now, honey, the last thing I want to talk to you about today is your environment.

Basically how you are surrounding yourself in your home. Let's just go with our home today. Because you right now have been casting your role incorrectly.

And I will tell you, your environment is the perfect bullshit detector. If you say that you want to change, but your environment isn't changing, then you are lying. Most of us try to change our identity or who we are and how we behave.

But we don't even think about changing our environments. We just keep the same old environment, same kitchen, same fucking Netflix binge ritual each night, same toxic friends or work people or workplace. But can we just be real for a second? No actor in real life becomes the character that they need to become if the set stays the same.

(13:12 - 15:44)

If Tom Cruise was going to play his Mission Impossible role, but they put him in the set of Forrest Gump, it's all fucking wrong. He couldn't be the person he needed to be, and therefore he wouldn't get paid. But you're sitting around in your same ass environment waiting for success and happiness and weight loss to drop on your head without making the physical environmental changes that you need to make.

So rearrange your physical environment. Think about it. What would need to change? Make it reflect the version of you that you want to be stepping into.

Because this is more than so much more than about calories, if we're going to talk about stopping emotional eating and weight loss. It's about creating a method acting scene for your real dream life. Babe, you're not going to become the woman that you want to be by waiting or wishing or weighing your damn cereal.

You are going to become her when you become her, like now as in today. It's the tiny decisions that nobody sees but you. They are the ones that are making all of the difference right now.

Do I stop eating at 80% full like Kylie says or am I just going to finish it because it's just salad? What harm can it do? At your next meal or your next thought or your next choice, all of those matter. So go for today and act like her. Dress the way she would dress, walk the way she would walk, eat the way she would eat, the types of foods that she would eat, the amount she would eat, and for the love of all things yummy, do not break character no matter how uncomfortable it feels.

And honey, if this episode gave you life, gave you chills or even just gave you a kick up the butt, please remember, screenshot it, tag me at Kylie underscore Pax over on Insta and feel free to share with me your biggest takeaway because until next time, I'm going to ask you to keep on showing up, keep acting like your future self and remember, she isn't somewhere out there. She's not something you have to try and scramble and get towards. She's already in you.

It's time for you to let her take the lead. Okay, I love you so much. Have an amazing week.

Till next time, gorgeous ones. Love you. Mean it.

Bye. Thank you so much for tuning in. Remember to shimmy your butt over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now.

You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.