I Lost 20kg as an Emotional Eater (Here’s Exactly What I Did)

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Transcript

Roll on up, you gorgeous, fabulous creatures. You're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's emotional eating coach. You have arrived and landed in the Losing It podcast, exclusive club, honey, for emotional eaters.

This is where we all come to hang out so that we can bitch about our bodies. We don't do no bitching here, honey. This is where we come and play to lose weight, stop emotional eating, stop binge eating and reach the goal of our dream, ideal body.

And first up today, I've got a little question for you. If you've ever said, I'm doing everything right, but nothing is working. Then honey, this is your reality check because today I am breaking down exactly how your girl lost 20 kilos as an emotional eater.

(0:40 - 0:54)

I wasn't just out there losing 20 kilos with anybody else out in the playing field who was just doing a calorie deficit and watching my macros and eating my protein. No, no, that fucking shit doesn't work for emotional eaters. And I'm going to explain why.

(0:54 - 4:07)

I did the whole thing without cutting carbs, giving up chocolate or crying into a lettuce wrap. And today I'm going to break it down for you in two exclusive parts. It's all going to be today's episode.

Don't stress. That makes it sound like it's over two episodes. It's not.

I'm giving it to you in two parts. We're first going to talk about the things that I did to change my body, the small sort of daily changes that actually made the weight move. And then secondly, if you want to wait around for this, I'm going to talk to you about the mindset changes that I made, like the mental rewiring that I had to do to keep that damn weight off for good, because let's be real, you can't just eat like the woman that you want to be.

You have to think like her too. So let's go. So let's start with talking about the changes that I made physically.

I'm talking about practical changes, yes, and things that I ate. Actually, let me rethink that. I'm going to start by telling you what I didn't do.

I did not do any detoxes. I did not do starvation. I didn't do any sort of 1000 calorie clean girl diets.

I didn't go to the gym seven days a week with like a side serving of self hate. Here's what I actually did do instead. First thing I did, and this was one that made the biggest, biggest change is I only ate when I was actually hungry, not when I was bored, or you know, feeling a little anxious, that anxiety eating.

No, no, no. I only ate, I decided one of the main things I was going to do, this is one of my five eating codes. The first one actually, is that you eat when you're hungry and don't eat when you're not.

So I decided only when my body is physically hungry, am I going to put food in it? I didn't do it. Like I said, for any other reason, or just because you text, texted and said, Hey, girl, what's up? Excuse me, I wasn't eating for those reasons. So eating code number one, eat when you're hungry and don't eat when you're not.

I followed that one to the letter. Now why is that so important? Because the minute you stop eating over any reason other than physical hunger, all the little shit in your life that you were eating to cover up or not have to face or not have to deal with, suddenly, it's there full force all up in your grill. And you have to decide, am I going to address this or not.

So it's not the most comfortable thing. I'm not going to say it was, it was easy, but not comfortable. Because suddenly, the things that I was eating over before were right there and unavoidable.

The stress that was going on, maybe in a family situation, or as many of you know, there was a female sort of stalker slash harasser person who has been in my life for two years that well for multiple years, but they're in really, really bad for the last two years. And if I wasn't going to eat to just not deal with that thing and just shut up the anxiety and the stress and the upset in my head, then I was going to have to face it head on. These are the sorts of things that we eat over breakups, shitty jobs, toxic excess, all this type of crap.

So first up, I only ate when I was hungry. The second thing I did is I made a daily food plan. And I decided I'm going to follow it to the letter.

I'm not going to eat out first of all, outside of physical hunger, and I'm not going to eat just because I'm in a mood. So I stopped letting my mood run the show. I stopped eating just because I felt like pizza.

(4:07 - 5:42)

But that wasn't what I had planned for that day. If I had planned some kind of, I don't know, healthy stir fry or something for dinner, I came home and I had the fucking healthy stir fry. It didn't matter that I came home late, or that I had people still texting me, or I don't know, my boss was calling up or any of those things.

No, no, I still decided to follow my plan, not my mood. And you know, girl, if you've got my free eating codes by the course that I lay out for you over three videos, I break down each one of my five eating codes for you. This is the second one.

Eating code number two is follow your plan, not your mood. So this one, again, is going to show you what self-discipline actually looks like. When you start keeping your own word to yourself, I am going to make chicken stir fry tonight.

And then you come home and actually, if I can do it, you feel like you just climbed Mount Everest. You feel like you should win some kind of Nobel Prize. And all you did was eat the chicken stir fry that you said you were going to eat when you really, every fiber of your body was like, don't eat that.

Just get burgers, just get Uber, like whatever it is that that devil voice in your head is saying, but you didn't do it. You stuck to your damn word. Honey, the worst thing that we have done as females in our own life, and part of the reason we have so many trust issues, I believe, in our lives is because the first person that's been breaking our word to us is us.

We don't even keep our own word to ourselves. You're all out there going, he's so rude. He never keeps his word to me.

And you know, this person lies to me all the time. What the fuck about you? You don't keep your own word to yourself half the time either. You tell yourself you're going to get up and go for a walk in the morning.

Do you fucking do it? No. You tell yourself that you're going to start that yoga class. Do you do it? No.

(5:42 - 7:08)

You need to keep your word to yourself before anybody else is going to give a shit about doing the same thing. The other thing that following your plan and not your mood does is it eliminates decision fatigue. You know, in the morning, when I write my plan, I write it first thing in the morning.

Like, as soon as I get up, I sit down and make myself a green tea. I do some journaling, if that's what I want to do. And I write out my bombshell eating plan for the day, what it is that I'm going to be eating.

And the reason that I do it first thing in the morning is because, like 6, 7am version of Kylie, she actually gives a shit. I give a shit about myself at that time in the morning. I care about how I'm going to look and feel the next day.

I care about what goes in my stomach. I care about my gastrointestinal health. I care about all that stuff in the morning when my mind is fresh and my energy is high.

8pm Kylie, she doesn't give a shit. She doesn't give a shit about that version of me. All she wants to do is eat chocolate and ice cream and cake and kick back and watch Netflix.

I cannot trust myself at that time of night. That is why making that daily food plan was a game changer for me. And again, if you want to grab those, just hit the link in the show notes.

I will link the journal and planner that I use below as well. Now, the third thing that I did for my physical body, and this is the one that made the biggest change to my weight. This was the one that helped me drop the 20 kilos fast.

(7:08 - 7:16)

Not just like I lost 20 kilos, but I lost it fast because this is something no other coach is ever going to talk to you about. They're not going to tell you. They just don't do it.

(7:16 - 7:56)

They tell you to stick to a certain number of calories. Just eat in a calorie deficit, girl, you'll be fine. Well, will you? We won't as emotional eaters.

We won't because we've spent our lives counting calories. Are you fucking thin? Do you see yourself skinny when you walk up in the mirror? No, you don't because calorie counting doesn't work for us. But here is something that did.

I stopped eating when I was 80% full. If I could still breathe normally, I stopped eating. So long as I wasn't needing stretchy pants, I had eaten enough.

It wasn't always glamorous, but it worked. And this is the third of my eating codes. Stop eating at 80% full.

(7:56 - 9:58)

It's something that ancient cultures around the world have done for millennia. And it's a reason why you find indigenous tribes in certain cultures. They are not sitting around eating like it's Christmas day every day.

They're not cracking open packets of Cheezos and... What's a Cheezo? Cheetos and Cheezos. They're not doing that stuff. They are eating... First of all, they're eating healthy food, but they are stopping eating at 80% full.

Game changing code. If you only implement one thing from today, then you want to stop eating at 80% full. The fourth thing I did for my body, and this is a huge one.

Again, that's not highly, highly talked about. And it's so damn simple is I went for a walk every single day. No more gym, no lycra, no pressure.

I just moved my body with love instead of punishment every day. Easy. Now, I had a dual system because at that time, I would walk outside if I could.

I would walk Miss Molly. But equally, I would also walk on a treadmill that I had at that time. I don't have it anymore, and I'm kicking myself for getting rid of it.

But I would use the treadmill when the weather outside wasn't conducive to walking. And I loved both options personally, because outside I would often enjoy the nature, and I found that getting out there... It's not grounding specifically, because I was never doing it in bare feet. There's too much bed poo and things on the ground.

I just can't even bear to think about it. But when I was on the treadmill, I loved that time equally as much because I could double dip that time as exercise and also workspace. I would use that time to catch up on messages.

I would listen to podcasts. I would listen to audio books. I loved that time so much because I felt like I was getting in so much more than just a workout, and it made the time go faster.

The fifth thing I did to help myself lose the weight and shrink down several dress sizes was I ditched the start again on Monday mindset. Ooh, girl, if there is another... Oh, all these points are so good. This one you've got to take on board.

(9:58 - 12:34)

Your excuses are killing your results. Every time I messed up, I decided I was going to bounce back immediately pronto right in that same second. Because, honey, if Monday was magical, you fucking would be thin by now.

It's not magical. The only thing that's similar to magic is that it starts with an M. But other than that, there is nothing special or fancy about next Monday that there is different to today or right now this second. You're not going to feel more next Monday.

Do you know why? Because you're not yet learning how to keep promises to yourself because you're not using my journal and planner. So you better hit the link in the show notes and nab those. The sixth thing that I did was I acted like my future self before I believed that I could even really be her.

I had to sit back and think, would she be eating ice cream straight out the tub at midnight? I mean, I don't think so. She wouldn't have the cute ass and the little abs that I imagined she had in my mind if she was doing that. So if she wasn't doing it, then I didn't do it either.

And this is eating code number five in a nutshell. Act like the person you want to become. Act like that version of you that you want to become.

I don't care how fanciful she seems to you right now. I don't care how far away she seems to you right now. Start picturing her in your mind.

So inside of my Bombshell Blueprint membership course, we have meditations in there and visualizations. Now, these are so, so good because when I started, I couldn't picture her. I just, I felt so far away from her.

I thought, what the hell would she even look like? I don't know. All I can do is visualize my fat self doing a little bit better. And that's where I started.

But slowly over time, I started seeing myself in my mind. Before I saw it physically, I started seeing myself being a little bit fitter, a little bit thinner, having abs a little bit more, having a booty that was cuter a little bit more, a little bit less flab. I thought about all of it.

I would then scroll like Pinterest or Insta for outfits that I liked. And I would imagine myself in those outfits, cute gym fits, like this sort of stuff, stuff that I would not be caught dead wearing at the time because I was just too much flab. But stuff that I thought my ideal version of me could wear, my avatar, the version of me that just feels good, looks good.

Every day she gets up and she's energetic. She would wear this cute little fit. And I would capture those on my screenshots.

And I would use those things as motivation and inspiration for who and how I wanted to conduct myself each day. Now these six things, all of these changes, they weren't extreme. They weren't even really very impressive.

(12:34 - 13:01)

But when you layer them on top of each other and continually and consistently do them each day, then you become unstoppable. Now, the second part, of course, to all this, like I promised, is the mindset part because no, oh my God. Where I remember like being in the era of Jenny Craig and WW and, well, WW was actually Weight Watchers back then.

(13:01 - 15:14)

And there was no mindset, nothing to any of that. It was just pure and simple torture. You had to weigh in each week.

Did you gain weight? You are such a fat pig. You are shamed. Go to the back of the class.

Put your face against the wall. Don't look at us. And it was just a whole gaggle of women that were feeling really shitty about themselves.

Pretty much people used to leave the meetings and then just go eat donuts. So let's have a little talk about mindset and the changes that I made because if you're still thinking like the old version of you, then no new habit can stick because this is the truth that nobody tells you. Your body will never go anywhere that your mindset hasn't been first.

So here's what changed for me. The first thing that I did is I stopped waiting to feel fucking motivated. That is a damn myth.

I simply started showing up every day, even and especially when I didn't feel like it. Showing up, much like eating code number two and following your plan and not your mood, or eating code number four, which is your feelings don't get to vote, means that you showing up is an imperative part of your journey. You don't need to feel like it.

You don't even need to do the workout or whatever you're doing well. All your brain needs to know is that you're a woman who doesn't quit on herself. So if you had planned to do like a 30 minute, say, I don't know, lightweight session and walk, then even if you do 15 or 10 minutes of a slow walk and lift weights one time, lift up half a kilo one time, your brain still will start getting the message, damn, there's no holding this bitch back.

She will not quit. And that's what's most important for you at this stage. The second thing that I did is I stopped believing my own BS excuses.

I'll just have one more bite, or I deserve a little treat, or the best one, the piss one. I've already blown it, so I might as well keep going. Honey, I can't even with this.

These are not facts. These are bullshit stories and you're still using them. Girl, I use them to keep myself stuck for years.

(15:14 - 18:55)

But once I stopped believing them, the binge cycle lost its power. You need to step up and have a conversation with yourself, babe. You need to talk to yourself more than you listen to your damn self.

All you're all out there just listening to yourself right now. Nobody is talking back. And then you wonder why you feel like you can't control your urges and your cravings at night, because you're not even in the game.

You're just in a fucking audience watching the show, watching the production, and your cravings and your urges are up on stage, doing a whole musical performance for you, and you're enthralled in the audience. Tell me more, give me more, clapping and applause. This is fabulous.

Then you wonder why you keep running to the fridge in the pantry. Honey, start talking to yourself more than you listen to yourself. The third thing that I did for my mindset, oh, such a delicious one, I stopped chasing perfection.

I gave myself permission to mess up without needing to start over fresh, because perfect was never the goal. I was never about trying to get things perfect. I was focusing more on consistency.

I only cared, like I said previously, that I kept showing up, didn't have to be perfect, didn't have to be the best workout of my life. There just had to be one. The next thing I did is I started asking myself better questions.

You know this saying, ask a better quality question, get a better quality answer. So instead of asking myself, why can't I stick to anything? Why does this always happen to me? Why aren't I losing weight fast enough? I started replacing all of those questions with one simple one. What would my future self do now? That badass version of Kylie.

What would she do right now? Would she eat this thing? Would she sit back and do nothing when she had planned to do something? What would she do right now? Because all of this leads into the last thing that I did, and it was probably, I feel like they were also impactful, but this one especially is very impactful because we all want this weight gone now. Like now, now, in fact yesterday. We want it over with and we want it gone, but I made peace with slow progress.

I wasn't out there trying to lose five kilos in a week or doing a cleanse or some fucking meal replacement shit. I was trying to change who I was. And then when I did that, when that became the goal, everything, including the weight loss and the emotional eating got a whole lot easier.

So yes, I did lose 20 kilos, but what I really lost, I lost the guilt. I lost the self-sabotage. I lost the all or nothing, start again every Monday mindset.

I didn't just change how I ate. I changed how I thought. And that is why it worked this time.

So honeys, as always, I'm sending you tremendous amounts of love. If this episode hit home, go ahead, share it with the bestie who needs this. Tag me in your stories at Kylie underscore packs over on Insta and tell me one small change that you're going to make this week.

And if you want my exact five eating codes or the journal and bombshell planner that I mentioned in today's episode, just hit the link in the show notes, because once you start doing this work, that's when your entire life changes. I'm sending you tremendous amounts of love. I cannot wait to see you again next week.

You've got this, my darling, and I have got your back. I will see you then. Bye for now.

Thank you so much for tuning in. Remember to shimmy your butt over to Kyliepacks.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now. You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcasts that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity.

I will see you next week.