Who Do You Identify As?

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Transcript

What is up, you gorgeous, fabulous creatures? Welcome to another brand new episode of the Losing It podcast. You're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's emotional eating coach, as you well know, and I have got a topic for you today that is hot off the heels of the latest sort of, I dare not say trend, because I know there's going to be some of you that absolutely love this. I am, I will bring it into my world to a degree, but when I explain to you what I'm, we're going to talk about today and how this is affecting your eating, I don't, I'm pretty sure a lot of you will agree with where I draw the line on this matter, but we are talking today about how do you identify? I'm talking about the titles that everybody is now giving themselves, really in the workplace, whether you want to do it or not, it's really being enforced.

You have to clearly declare whether you identify as a she, her, he, him, they, them, or whatever. Now, I have no problem with that. That is fine.

You do you, boo, you do your thing, but where I draw the line is with the young children that are identifying themselves as cats, dogs, different animals, vehicles, and then they're now also forcing their schools to allow them to use kitty litter boxes. They're wearing fairy ears and ridiculous, stupid fucking things that honestly, I just, I can't deal with the level of stupidity, but this is getting a little bit, a little bit off topic, but scarily not too much because my question to you today is who do you identify as? Because here's the truth. As long as you see yourself as a woman who battles with food, struggles with her weight, I only have to look at a cookie and I gain weight, you are never, never, never going to get the body and the life that you've always wanted and quite frankly, that you deserve.

So you may not identify as a cat, honey, maybe you do, and again, more power to you, but if you don't, if you identify currently as somebody who struggles with their weight, struggles with emotional eating, struggles with binge eating, overeating, under eating, I'm about to show you how shifting your self-identity can completely change your relationship with food, help you break free from emotional eating and start seeing some real lasting results. I don't want you to just get a few results here and there. I want you to get those freaking results that last.

So get ready to strap yourself into the most empowered version of yourself. Let's get started. Now I am not holding back today.

This morning, I held an hour and a half masterclass inside of my Bombshell Blueprint membership. We were talking about self sabotage and the holes in your life where this self-sabotage is sneaking in. I mean, this was the best masterclass I have given in absolutely forever.

I'm still buzzing. It solves every single problem that we have with self-sabotage. So if you want to know more about the Bombshell Blueprint, just hit the link in the show notes or come visit me over at KyliePax.com forward slash However, today here on the podcast, we are talking about another hot, hot topic, which is I want to dive into the neuroscience of your identity and how rewiring your brain is really the key to everything that I teach.

It's the ethos behind everything that I share. Your brain is constantly, my darling, constantly reshaping itself. We know this.

It's plastic like all the other things in our body. Well, not everything, all the other things in our body. LOL to that.

No, not all the other things in our body are plastic. We like our bones to be very strong. We don't want them bending and changing themselves.

However, your brain is something that can bend and change itself and it's entirely based on the thoughts that we think. So when you choose, because it is a choice, when you choose to identify as a woman who constantly battles with food, don't be freaking surprised when your brain starts forming the neural pathways that align with that. They will reinforce the behavior, the exact freaking behavior that you don't want.

But you think it's so benign. You just run around laughing and telling people, Oh, I only have to look at a cookie and I gain weight. Then you wonder why it fucking happens.

Honey, if you want to change this narrative, you have to start creating some new neural pathways. And how do we do that? By consistently thinking and acting as the version of yourself who is standing in her power and is in full control of her choices, most especially her choices around food. Now this is eating code number five, all up.

You're in its grill. You're all up in the grill of eating code number five, which is act like the person you want to become. I want you to start visualizing and affirming this version of yourself daily, that new identity.

Now, if you haven't got my bombshell blueprint planners and journals yet, they are also linked in the show notes because they are flying off the shelves because they're making so much change. I am getting notes all day, notes, notes. I'm getting messages all day in my Insta about the changes that just the journal and the planner are making alone.

They're allowing women to lose 20 plus kilos, just those assets. So when you start using the tools that you know are available to you, whether you want to just Google or use chat GPT, give me 20 different journaling prompts that I can use to help stop emotional eating. See what she comes up with.

Because when you start taking action in this direction, that's when your brain is going to begin to rewire itself to align with the new version of you, the one that you want, not this one that you're currently reinforcing, that's keeping you stuck, miserable and overweight, stuck in emotional eating hell. Look, here's the truth. The person that you want to be, we were talking about this today on today's masterclass, this version of you that you want to be, she already exists.

And she is out there. You believe right now, I call my like the future version of me. She's like horizon Kylie.

(6:06 - 9:49)

She's just over there on the horizon. I can see her. I can almost feel her.

She's just over there. And we fall into the trap of thinking that this future version of you, this amazing version of you, this horizon version of you, she's going to show up tomorrow and she's going to solve all your problems. Because tonight, you're tired, you're busy, you've got cravings, you're exhausted, you've got PMS, the kids are bugging you, whatever is going on.

You feel and you reinforce this story. This narrative goes on all day, every freaking day. I'm too tired today.

I can't deal with it today. I'm just going to eat. I'm just going to binge tonight.

But tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll start again. Tomorrow, I'll get it together. Tomorrow is going to be the dream version of me.

You think foolishly that the version of you that's going to get out of bed tomorrow morning is going to be hyper motivated, really consistent with all her very best choices, and she is never going to fall off track. I mean, what's BS? Honey, that version of you is only going to show up when you start making the choices she would make right now. You have to step into that version of you with conscious intention.

She isn't going to fall on you out of the sky. So many of you think, when I get to the weight that I want, then I'll just do whatever it takes to maintain it. I will act like the person that I want to be then.

But you don't realize that in order to get there, you have to do the things first. You don't get there and then do the thing. Which really brings me to my next point, which is stepping into that future version of you or acting as if you are already her now is your secret ammunition weapon.

And listen, not everybody out there has this knowledge. In fact, I don't think it's very well known in the general pop at all. If you want to shift your identity, then you need to act as though you are already that person who has the life and the body that you want.

It doesn't mean pretending or faking it. I'm not talking about fake it till you make it. I'm talking about making decisions as though you are already and start feeling it empowered, in control, aligned with your future self.

Let those vibes seep into your bones, into your veins. It starts shifting your behaviors from reacting to food with anxiety or stress or upset and then just eating the food, not because you even want it. What happens is you try and quote, unquote, resist.

I've got to use self-control. And you try and white knuckle it and grit your teeth for like two, three, four hours. And then eventually you'll just eat the damn food, whether you want it or not, just to get rid of it because you can't stand the stress and the anxiety anymore.

At that stage, you're not eating the food because you want the food. You're eating the food to shut the voices up in your head. So I want you to start choosing nourishment with confidence, the same confidence that that future version of you would.

Because the more you can embody that woman, that version of you, the less you will continue to identify with the emotional eater that you once were. Honey, your self-concept or that internal narrative that you hold about yourself, you might think, well, she's talking about self-concept. What the fuck is self-concept? Your self-concept is the internal narrative that you hold about yourself.

And that is what defines your reality. If you tell yourself purely because maybe other people have told you and you've just accepted it as true. But if you tell yourself now, I am a woman who struggles with weight.

I am an emotional eater. I am a person that just can't, I'm not a morning person. Like it can work all of these ways.

(9:49 - 10:14)

But these stories that you continually roll over in your head, minute after minute, day after day, year after year, they're creating your life. I mean, can we just have a moment and think about this? These stories, whether they are empowering or pathetic, are creating your life. So when you now look back, if I look back over my last 30 years of emotional eating hell, how tragic for me.

(10:14 - 12:43)

I used to tell myself, I can't control myself with chocolate in the house. I can't have chocolate in the house. And so sure enough, anytime there was chocolate in the house, which is frequently, especially if you're living with another person who likes chocolate, then you're going to find it in your house and you will lose control.

And that's exactly what happened to me. I lived the last 30 years of my life under the false apprehension that I was someone that I wasn't. What do I mean by that? I believe that I was pathetic, powerless, had no control over my choices, couldn't be trusted around food.

I believe that I was pretty weak, if we're gonna be real. And if you identify as someone who is always battling with food and self-control, you're gonna continue to recreate this struggle day after day, week after week, month and year after each other. If you want to break free, the biggest step you need to take, in fact, the only step you need to take, or a perfect place to start at least, is to redefine your self-concept or who you believe that you are.

And this involves, it's really not hard, honey. It involves you detaching from the old labels that, whether you plastered them on yourself or somebody else did, they've stuck them on your fucking head, like sticky notes. I'm an emotional eater.

I am not a person that likes to exercise. I am a person that doesn't like, I don't know, I don't like brussels sprouts, whatever it is, these are sticky notes. And they're basically, if we could see ourselves through a more energetic spiritual level, you're walking around with a bunch of shitty sticky notes stuck to your persona and you are believing that this is who you are.

But you know what, honey, the slightest wind can blow those fucking sticky notes off. A wind can blow the sticky notes off and even if you think that they're really stuck on there with some kind of powerful glue, honey, it's just a fucking sticky note. Don't tell yourself a story it's stuck on there with proper adhesive.

It's just a sticky note. You can pluck that thing off of you as easily as the wind can blow a leaf off of a tree. And all you need to do is start replacing them with more empowering stories that will create a more empowering identity.

Like I'm a woman who listens to her body. I'm a woman who nourishes herself with intention, not out of being frantic or stressed or feel like I'm being judged. Or I'm a woman who feels like I'm in control around food.

(12:44 - 13:25)

Just these sorts of stories are going to be the first step in you reinventing your identity towards long lasting change. Because when you start living as the person who already has the body and the lifestyle you desire, that is when everything around you, your life, the people, workmates, opportunities, they all start conspiring to work with you and for you. Why do I say this? Because my final point is that your identity or the story you keep telling yourself about yourself shapes your actions, your choices and your life.

(13:25 - 17:12)

Who you think you are will determine the actions that you take. It determines what you do all day long, every single day. We will really often create our identity based on our past behaviours and past experiences.

So if you don't know, I am a woman that was raped when I was 17 years old and for probably about seven years before that I was messed with by two brothers. Now these people are clearly not in my life anymore but for the longest time I identified as this is who I am. But I internalised it and I didn't even see myself as a victim.

I saw myself as the pathetic loser and this was all my fault. It was all my fault. I identified as that person.

So it bled over into every other area of my life. I struggle with this, I struggle with food, I struggle with boundaries, I struggle with everything. I just need people to like me because if people liked me then I was, this is the story I told myself, if people liked me then I felt safe, I was safe.

If someone didn't like me I could be in harm's way and it had been proven to me for seven plus years. But this self-limiting belief is what keeps your identity stuck in the cycle for us in the cycle of emotional eating because I felt the more I can eat, the bigger I can get and the story I told myself was the uglier I could get than the safer I'll be because men will leave me alone. But the truth is when you identify as someone who doesn't struggle with food and emotional eating, someone who actually has control over not just that area of her life but every area, your actions will easily slide into that slot, that pigeonhole and start aligning with the new identity.

So start imagining yourself as a person who sees themselves enjoying food without guilt. They eat mindfully, they know my eating codes, you only eat when you're hungry, you stop eating at 80% full, we make a plan each day and we stick to it because that's how we're building self-trust. We don't engage in night-time emotional eating because our feelings do not get to vote at that time of night, it's as simple as that and when it all boils down to it, we act like a person we want to become.

When you start abiding by those choices, just watch how your life starts to change. So honey, if you are ready to stop identifying as somebody who struggles and start identifying as that powerful woman who is in control of her food choices and her whole damn life, then you know what to do. Just hit the link in the show notes, find out more about the Bombshell Blueprint, come over and join us in this game-changing membership.

This is where I break down not just the practical steps that I use and the entire blueprint that I use to lose 20 kilos and stop emotional eating and binge eating after 30 years of struggling with it but I also break down the psychological and practical steps that you need to know that are involved in emotional eating and creating lasting weight loss so you can finally get the body and the life you deserve, most importantly honey, without restrictive diets. So if you're ready to join a community that is all about transformation, hit the link in the show notes or come join us over at kyliepax.com forward slash blueprint and let's make this your last time you ever have to start again on Monday. I'm sending you tremendous amounts of love, I will see you again next week, until then gorgeous ones, bye for now.

Thank you so much for tuning in, remember to shimmy your butt over to kyliepax.com and join me inside of the Bombshell Blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your weight now. You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.