3 Mindset Shifts I Had to Make Before I Could Lose 20kg

In today’s episode, I'm sharing the 3 powerful mindset hacks that helped me ditch emotional eating and finally lose 20kg (without tracking every crumb or cancelling dinner plans.) You’ll learn how to upgrade your identity, rewire self-sabotaging patterns using the Law of Authenticity, and clean up the sneaky reminders keeping you stuck in your old habits. These are the exact tools I've used to help over 7,000 women ditch the binge-restrict cycle and actually enjoy their lives while losing weight. Ready to stop making it harder than it needs to be? Let's go, babe.

Join the Bombshell Blueprint

Get the Free Weight Loss Course

👋🏼 Let's Be Besties!
Instagram

BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM

Transcript

What is up you gorgeous, fabulous creatures and welcome to this week's episode of the Losing It podcast. You're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's emotional eating coach. And this week we are talking about the three, well, three of the biggest mindset shifts that I had to make in order to melt 20 kilos off my bootay and keep it off for, I don't know, 10 years now.

It's, listen, it's been a while. It's been a hot minute. So let's just be real today because if forcing yourself to log every little cookie crumb on my fitness pal actually worked, honey, I would be recording this episode from a yacht, but the scale doesn't move because of the app in your phone.

It moves because of, let's just say the app in your brain. It's your brain that is running the show. So today I am handing you those three biggest hacks that took me from being on some kind of perma diet to just dropping the 20 kilos without needing to cancel.

Brunch with the girlfriends, coffee out with besties, dinners with the family. Like I was still able to order pizza the whole time. I was the girl riding the 10 to 20 kilo rollercoaster for decades.

10 kilos off, 20 kilos back on, 15 kilos off, 17 back on. It was just how it rolled for me. It was never, it was all I knew.

(1:16 - 2:09)

There was no other way. And when I finally realized that it was my thoughts that were running the show, that's when I realized that I actually had full control. I thought I needed to get rid of all the external stimulus.

So I needed to get rid of all the donuts in the world and how can I ever lose weight while they keep creating delicious chocolates and, you know, damn cabarets for doing this to me. No, it wasn't until I realized for the actual hundred millionth time, I thought, hang on a minute, there can't be external factors running the show when I'm the one that decides what goes in my mouth. And then I went through a bit of a pity party thinking, what's wrong with me? Why can't I control myself? I must be broken.

And then I thought, no, no, that's bullshit too. All of these are stories that are making up in my mind. And if I get to choose a story, then I should at least choose something that's empowering and amazing.

(2:09 - 2:39)

Now, this is where I started. I decided to start with point number one today, which is doing an identity override. I created an entirely new identity for myself.

Now this isn't going to happen overnight. It's going to take more than a hot minute, but over the course of weeks, months, and even years, I started to see myself as being somebody who was healthy, having a smoking hot body. That was going to be actually normal for me.

(2:39 - 3:11)

So what does that look like? That means you're going to sit back and you're going to start to think, how would that hottest version of you think, walk, talk, and feel? And most importantly, how would she be acting on a day-to-day basis? What does she do? What does she not do? And then it's after that, it's so simple. It's literally child's play. You're just going to do those things.

All of this comes back to your RAS or your reticular activating system in your brain. It's the part of your brain I've spoken about before. It lives at the back of your cranium.

(3:11 - 5:20)

It's like a sparkly little hair net. I just imagine that as some sort of diamante gorgeous piece of jewelry, but it's back there and it's the gatekeeper for all the information that you let in and out of your life. So that part of your brain, your RAS decides what's important enough to come in.

So it will see, I don't know, some scraggity ass squirrel on the street and decide that's not important. And even though the squirrel is there, you won't see it. It will then place in front of you, you might walk past a bakery and you'll see some chocolate donuts.

Oh girl, your reticular activating system lets those in. You notice those real good and it starts triggering cravings. And now you're thinking about donuts all day.

But this is the trick. This is the hack. That bouncer, just like in any kind of nightclub, the bouncer has all the power over who comes in and who has to stay out.

So do you. You can retrain the bouncer in your mind. You can retrain it to overlook donuts as if you would fucking waste your time looking at stupid ass donuts.

You are a queen. You are powerful. You are dominating your life.

You're on your way to the gym or you're outside doing a walk. Why are you going to stop and look at stupid bakery stuff? You're not going to buy it. Why would you be wasting your time? Think about it this way.

When you walk through a shopping mall, you might walk past a hundred shops, but you don't shop in every single one of them. You don't walk into every single one of them and admire all the goods and pick things up and fondle them. You don't do that.

You go only to the shops that support what you are there to achieve. If you go to the shops to buy a new lipstick, let's just say, you know, there's some new lipstick out. Maybe Kylie Jenner has released something new and you want it.

So off you trot to the mall. Let's say there's a hundred shops in your shopping mall. You know what you're there to get.

You're there to get Kylie Jenner's new lip balm, whatever thing it is. Kylie Jenner's new lip gloss is what you're there to get. So why are you walking into the trash bag store? Why are you going into the dollar store? Why are you going into the cheapest chips and the reject store where they sell stupid thoughts and stupid things that are not there to support what you need? Your trip was to get a lip gloss.

(5:20 - 5:29)

Something's going to make you look and feel even more amazing than you already are. But you're wasting time browsing in the trashy stores. There's nothing there for you.

(5:29 - 5:59)

You don't need those goods. That isn't what you went there for. Train your brain to start noticing the things that you do want to bring into your life and blocking out the things that are no longer part of your new identity, how you see yourself, how you choose to be.

I often like to journal on these things. I'll think about how my future you would order at a cafe. Would she be tempted by things that she knew she wasn't there to eat or drink? It's not to say that you can't have them.

(6:00 - 6:35)

Of course you can. But if that's not what you went for, then don't let those temptations come into play. How does your future self handle 9pm at night Netflix cravings? What does she do then? Create a 60 second script or a character rehearsal.

Something that every morning I record voice notes in my phone. Just like a 30 seconds of voice notes so that when you are doing your little mascara in the mirror or putting on that Kylie Jenner lip gloss, you can play the character script that you have recorded in your voice notes. This is how I look.

(6:35 - 7:35)

This is how I feel. This is who I am. This is why I am this way.

You talk about it always in the first person. You see those clips on Insta, like I am strong, I am powerful, I am brave. Well, you're going to talk about yourself very similar to the scripts that we have inside of the Bombshell Blueprint where I have them running for up to eight hours.

So you don't need to think about it. You just play them and they literally will rewire the neuro pathways in your brain so that you do become who you say you are. But you want to talk about yourself in the first person.

I am so happy and grateful now that everyday weight loss is insanely easy for me. Every time I walk past a reflective surface, I look to be slimmer and slimmer. This is just amazing.

I don't get cravings. I only crave healthy food that makes my body feel empowered and live and energetic. Everything is so easy for me in life.

I am constantly receiving good news, becoming more and more abundant. I am a fat burning incinerator. My metabolism works like it's at hyperspeed.

(7:35 - 9:39)

Everything I eat and drink just benefits me and what I don't need completely passes through my body. It's so easy. I don't even have to think about it.

This is the sort of stuff you want to be recording into the voice notes on your phone. Secondly, you're going to hack into the law of authenticity. Now, for my manifestation goalies, you'll know what I'm talking about.

And for those of you that don't, what it is, is a way to reprogram your mindset. Basically, I want you to stop breaking your word to yourself. If you said that you weren't going to overeat, then stick to your word.

That is how you rewire your inner patterns. Every time you go against your own self, you are no longer being authentic. You are creating a shady version of yourself, just in the same way that if you saw somebody walking along the street and they started following you and they looked shady AF, like maybe they were wearing a hoodie, pulled really down, you couldn't see their face, it was starting to get a bit dark at night, they're getting closer and closer to you.

You feel you might even hear like the click or like the flick of like, what are the little knife things? I don't know. I'm thinking about movies that I see on TV. And you would start shitting yourself like this seems shady.

It may not be might be very benign and like innocent, but it seems shady. Why is this person walking faster and faster? Why are they getting nearer and nearer to me? Like, my God, there's no one else around you would start freaking out. Well, honey, that is you every time you lie to yourself.

You tell yourself, I'm not going to overeat tonight. Today's the day that I get my shit together with food. It's going to be really amazing.

And then at 4pm, 5pm, in comes shady version of you with the hoodie pulled down. It doesn't matter. They just come in really close.

It's okay. Just let me take over for you. We're just going to eat tonight.

Doesn't matter. And you'll do better tomorrow. That's shady ass behavior.

Nobody's going to trust someone like that. And it's no wonder then that you feel like you can't trust yourself with food around the house. I can't keep those foods in the house.

Got to get rid of those foods. Of course you feel that way because every day at 4 or 5pm, in comes shady version of you. And believe me, if it was slim shady, we'd be happy, but it's not.

(9:39 - 9:59)

It's overweight, shady version of you. And she's coming in and she's constantly sabotaging everything. When you break those promises to yourself, you trigger more shame and then more emotional eating.

When you keep the tiny little promises to yourself, even though you think it's small, I'm just going to have a couple of little M&Ms. Doesn't matter. What's an M&M? Nothing.

(10:00 - 12:40)

And of course, calorically, it is really nothing. But it's also you breaking your word to yourself. When you keep your word to yourself, you boost dopamine, you build self-trust, and it's easier and easier to create those better habits.

So let's create some practical frameworks around it. Something that I like to do is create a bite rule. So you can do like a one bite rule.

You might decide, listen, I'm not going to miss out on the dessert. I just need a bite of it because I just want to know what it tastes like. Trust me, more isn't better.

More is just more fat on your ass. That's what more is. Just the flavor.

That's all you want. I will often tell myself, I just want to try it. I just going to have a bite of that donut or a bite of that dessert.

If that's what I plan for the day, if somebody's having it. And I'm like, yeah, I just want to have it because I want to taste it. I don't want to feel like I missed out, but I don't want the whole thing because I know that's going to completely sabotage my weight loss program.

So decide and then honor it. Or inside of our blueprint, we create a 24-hour plan. We have our daily plan, our daily planner, and our journal.

We jot down the food in our planner, what we're going to have that day, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, and we keep our word to ourself. Do it in your notes app, on your phone. It really doesn't matter.

Any way that you want to do it, just get it done. Or something else that you could do is just pick one commitment for yourself that day. Okay, I'm going to use eating code number three.

Kylie talks about her five eating codes. I'm going to do the third one, which is to stop eating at 80% full and track that for seven days. Am I stop eating at 80% full? And I guarantee that's the weight loss code.

Honey, if you want to lose weight fast, stop eating at 80% full. Because when you start upgrading your identity in these little ways, I promise you, honey, your habits don't need motivation. They're going to need a damn seat because the third hack that we're using is NSR.

Now, I feel like NSR, again, for those of you who know, it stands for nervous system regulation, but it can also stand for no more sneaky reminders. Honey, you have to clean out your, yes, your internal environment, but also your external environment. I am talking friends, mental chatter, the triggers that keep reminding you of who you don't want to be anymore.

If you don't want to be the girl who orders Uber Eats every single night, promising herself this will last me for two meals, and then you devour it all in one, stop doing it. Stop doing the things that prove to your RAS that you are that old version of you. Start doing the things that prove that you are the new version of you.

So define what it is that you need. Start purging your physical environment, your social environment, all the mental cues that are dragging you back to that old version of you. Then do like an environmental detox.

(12:40 - 13:56)

Oh, listen, this one I love. Audit your kitchen, honey. Audit your kitchen.

You want to clear out trigger shelves. You know we've all got them. Put things at eye level that will fuel your body rather than send you into fight or flight mode.

And then let's implement some mental hygiene. Curate your Insta. Unfollow all the thinspo accounts that make you feel like shit.

If they're working for you, that's fine. But if you step away from them feeling like that will never be me, it's not beneficial for you right now. Maybe later.

I mean, I'm not saying. I'm just saying probably not right now. So follow more evidence-based accounts, ones that make you feel like this is possible for me.

I can do that. If that old bag did it, unless I'm talking about myself here. I'm in my mid-fifties.

You know, I get so much hate about my age online. Just like I've recently had over, I don't know, almost 2,000 comments on one post just from a whole bunch of young people who are just hating on me. How my post ended up on the wrong side of the internet, I do not know.

But they're hating on me about my age. I'm thinking, well, quite frankly, I'm still, I'm pretty glad that I'm still here. I don't care what the age number says in front of my age.

(13:56 - 14:59)

I'm pretty happy to be here. This is the type of stuff that you want to clear out. Anything that triggers you to feel bad about yourself has to go.

Why? Because we're always going to find a way out of feeling bad. It's human nature. Not only is it human nature, it's necessary.

You can't survive in a state where you're constantly feeling bad all the time. Of course, you're going to turn to either booze, food, smoking, sex, any one of the quickest vices. Well, let's set up our environment so that we don't even need them to start with.

So honey, I hope you found this useful. I'm going to give you a really quick little seven-day challenge, something that I like to use. I've found this is really beneficial because it's short, it's snappy, and you can see results really quickly.

So on day one to two, I want you to record an identity script into your phone. Use the voice notes and you play it and or bonus points if you repeat it whilst you are doing anything in the mirror, moisturizing, makeup, Kylie Jenner lip gloss. On day three to four, you are going to create every day for those two days, one unbreakable promise per day.

(14:59 - 16:06)

It might be to watch one of my videos from inside of my free series. It could be to follow one of the eating codes. Okay, I'm only going to eat if I'm hungry today, or I am going to stop eating at 80% full.

That's on day three to four. On day five to seven, you're going to do a full NSR sweep of any triggers in your external environment so that you can start changing your internal environment. Get rid of, like I say, I'm never one to promote cleaning out the pantry and getting rid of trigger foods, but at the same time, if you're in a really fragile state of your journey, yeah, that's absolutely the smartest move for you to make.

When you have fully recalibrated your identity and you know that you are a strong, powerful woman who does not take shit from anybody, most especially a block of chocolate, that's when you are strong enough to bring those foods back into the house, but maybe right now you're not, and that is fine too. As always, my loves, if you found today helpful, useful, or even mildly entertaining, please hit subscribe or leave a five-star review. I'm sending you tremendous amounts of love, and remember, the only person who has the power to change your life is you.

Do not get caught up in the numbers on the bathroom scale. That scale is always late to the party. You are the one that holds the power.

(16:06 - 16:33)

You are the one who decides what results you get, and you are the one in control. I'm sending you love. I'll see you again next week.

Until then, gorgeous ones, bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning in. Remember to shimmy your butt over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now.

You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.