Binge Eating Recovery Plan That Also Works for Weight Loss

Today I'm torching the tired calorie-counting circus and unleashing a snark-free, binge-proof roadmap that swaps 11 pm emotional-eating raids for identity-based habits that actually stick. I break down the Five Eating Codes, demolish food cravings with a mindset shift, and show you how a tiny tweaks can turbo-charge your metabolism, spark fat-loss, and build unapologetic body confidence. If binge eating, emotional eating, weight loss, fat loss, calorie deficit, food cravings, mindset shift, metabolism, diet plan, and self-trust are your buzzwords, this is the episode you'll want to listen to again and again.

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Transcript

What is up, you gorgeous, fabulous creatures? Welcome to another week of the Losing It Podcast. You know where you are, you know who you're with. But just to remind you, you're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's emotional eating coach.

Very, very excited for today's ep, honey, because I am going to share with you the exact steps that I took, have taken, and am still taking to lose eight kilos in the last 10 weeks as a female who, and you know, and I mentioned that specifically because women, it's always harder for us to lose weight than men, but I'm also a female who is in her, dare I say it, well, I'm not quite there yet, but I'm 53. I was going to say mid-50s. I don't know.

Can I still count myself as early 50s? I mean, my mid-50s in menopause and have hypothyroidism. So my metabolism works at the rate of a snail that is comatose to begin with. So for me to be able to achieve this in the last few weeks is mind shattering, mind shattering.

It's mind blowing and earth shattering. And because I've been able to achieve these results, I thought the most useful thing I can do is tell you exactly how I've done it. So let's just dive on in because this is going to be a juicy episode.

Feel free to take notes because there is two parts to what I've done over the last few weeks. If you were to ask me how I managed to lose eight kilos over the last 10 weeks with all those challenges to boot, sort of haunting my booty the whole way, how did I do that? I would tell you it was a mixture of two things. It's like a two layered cake.

There's the strategy, but the strategy won't work without the mindset. Now, the most important part of what I've just said is that when it comes to weight loss, we have been trained from birth to believe that you simply follow the bouncing ball of any diet that they give you, whatever the latest fad diet is, and that's going to get the job done. And yes, to a degree that is true, but it's also not true because unless and until you change who you see yourself to be and who you believe that you are, you will never keep the weight off.

So what is the point of going through whatever weight loss program you choose if you gain the freaking weight back within, I mean, for me, it would be weeks or at least months, but if you manage to keep it off for a year or two, you know, kudos to you, it always ends up finding its way back to your butt. So again, how did I lose eight kilos over the last 10 weeks? Considering that I'm in my mid-50s, all the stars are aligned for me to never lose another pound. In fact, they're aligned for me to just keep getting fatter, but no, I managed to lose weight in my mid-50s with hypothyroidism and menopause.

If I told you I just followed another plan, it wouldn't be true. My level of success now is based upon my personal conviction, my self-trust and my personal belief in who I am and what I've come here to be. There was a time in my weight loss journey when all I needed was strategy, because if you've ever followed my five eating codes, you will know and understand.

Firstly, they're free, just hit the link in the show notes to grab them, but the five eating codes that I had started with four. This is something I've never said before. They'd started out with four eating codes.

There was four steps that I started taking in order to lose the 20 kilos that I initially lost years ago. So I would do the first thing that I did, which I now call eating code number one, is I only ate when I was hungry and I did not eat unless I was physically hungry, which basically means that when you want to eat, but you're not hungry, you're going to have to sit with your feelings. And who wants to do that? Nobody.

That's vile and uncomfortable. That makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. But that is the way to do with your feelings.

That's what's going to stop the emotional eating. So the first layer was to only eat when you're hungry and don't eat if you're not hungry. The second eating code was that I created a plan each day and I followed my plan and not my mood.

(3:58 - 5:10)

Second most important thing you can do. It again is going to reveal those hidden feelings and emotions and fears and worries and all the stresses that we have just munched away with, you know, carrot cake and pizza and all the things we munched them away so that we wouldn't have to feel them and face them. But honey, they were there the whole damn time.

They're just going to find another crevice to crawl through. So I created the second eating code, which is follow your plan and not your mood, which means again, I'm going to have to sit with the uncomfortable feelings. I then created the third eating code because at some point I was not interested in feeling all these feelings.

I want to see some damn weight loss, which means I decided I was going to stop eating at 80% full. So I don't want you to leave that extra 20% for dessert. That's not your dessert stomach.

That stomach is supposed to stay freaking empty, right? You stop eating at 80% full. And then of course, the fourth eating code is that your feelings don't get to vote. So that really tackles the nighttime emotional eating that we all engage in, the nighttime binging when you come home from work and you really can't be effed and you're just like, it's just too much.

I don't care anymore. I'm just going to eat tonight and I'll start again tomorrow. Maybe you've got your period or whatever is going on, but you feel like crap.

(5:11 - 5:51)

Even on the days that you might not have a period, you might be feeling amazing. Everything is great, but perhaps you didn't have a healthy BM that day. And so now you feel fat.

You might not be fat, but you feel fat AF. And if you're wondering what a BM is, that's your bowel movement. So on days when I did not have a healthy BM, I would feel like a fucking walrus, putting on some kind of pink tutu and trying to parade down the street.

I might've been the exact same weight that I was the day before, but mentally, emotionally, I was not there. I felt like a stegosaurus. So yeah, I needed to understand how to follow the blueprint of these first four steps.

(5:51 - 7:06)

They will get you to weight loss land and that's great. But until I really took the final step, which is my fifth eating code, which I call act like the person you want to become, that is when it all fell into place and it lasted as in the weight loss lasted, the happiness lasted. My ability to not feel fear around food anymore lasted.

I felt comfortable going out with friends and having coffee. I used to cancel shit like that. I'd be like, oh, you want to go out for dinner? No, no, no, no, no.

I wasn't going to go. You can all go, but I'm not going because I'm going to end up getting fat. Or I would cave.

I would go to family events because I couldn't get out of those. And then I would binge all the way home. These are things that no longer became a problem only when I started working on my mindset.

So yeah, strategy is very important. You need the strategy and whatever strategy you use, they all work, whether you use my eating codes. And of course, the reason I use them and I sort of came up with them was because I couldn't handle counting calories anymore.

I just couldn't. It was doing my head in. I didn't want to do it.

I wanted a level of freedom, which is what the eating codes provide for you. But if you're still in calorie counting land, maybe you can't let go of my fitness power just yet, or you're doing keto or you're doing whatever. It really doesn't matter.

(7:06 - 10:05)

Any plan you follow, my eating codes will slot straight in there with them. So if you're doing that, it's great. Do your thing, girl.

I'm cheering you on the whole way. Get the weight loss that you want. But at some point, you will start to realize that you no longer have how questions, as in, well, how do I get these last few kilos off? Or how do I start this journey? Well, there is no confusion around that.

You only have to open up Instagram any day of the week, and you've got somebody telling you how they lost weight and how they can help you do it too. That's fine. That is really not the issue.

Once you start to lose a few kilos, your questions around how should start to diminish and your questions around what and who should start to grow. Now, what I mean by that is I started noticing over the last few weeks that my how questions were really, I mean, I haven't had how questions in a very long time. But for me to, once I gained 15 kilos back earlier this year, so if you've missed the story, I conducted an experiment for the first three months of this year, whereby I decided I'm just going to eat anything I want, anything that I want, anytime that I want to.

And I'm going to if living that way, the way we always think we want to live, I just want to eat my foods that I love. And I don't have to think about losing weight anymore. I'm so over this.

I'm so tired. Is it the magical wonderland that we think it is? And I'm not going to lie to you. Yes, eating those foods was delicious and wonderful.

And also, I felt like shit. My stomach was bloated all the time. Every day was a fat day.

It didn't matter what was going on around me. I lived in huge track pants. All my joints hurt.

I didn't want to do anything. I was demotivated. I was unmotivated.

I was depressed. The whole thing sucked because then I also gained eight kilos. So was it worth it? Was a few moments of transitionary joy in my mouth worth gaining eight kilos and feeling like complete crap in my body? No, probably not.

But I knew that this was an experiment. And if I didn't stop at the end of the 12 weeks, I can't even imagine where my life would be now. But I stopped it at 12 weeks and decided to flip the script.

And I said that for the next 90 days, I'm now going to follow my eating codes and do all the things that we think I don't want to do. I don't want to have to watch what I'm eating. I don't want to have to get healthy.

I don't want. It's hard. It takes too long.

It's too much. I'll have no fun in my life. This is what we think.

And so we keep procrastinating and putting it off. But I was committed to doing that for 12 weeks. Now, it's only been 10 so far.

Yes, I've lost eight kilos. This is what we're sharing today. Because I started realizing that at some point, probably around the halfway mark, I no longer had how questions.

I knew what I was doing. I knew how to do what I was doing. I was doing it successfully.

I was seeing the weight come off. The how questions were no longer valid. What I then found myself having was questions around my capacity, my relationship with myself and food, my energy, my frequency, my identity, how I saw myself.

(10:05 - 14:13)

And when I transcended from how questions to who questions, that is when my weight loss really took off in a way that almost doesn't make sense. As in, in the last week, I think I've lost two kilos. So like over four pounds in the last, or is that what it is? Four-ish pounds in the last week alone.

And the week isn't even over yet. And I've already lost that much because I am no longer focused on the how. I know the how.

I just follow the five eating codes every day. I make my plan. I get up.

I only start eating for the day when I'm actually physically hungry. I make my plan of what I'm going to eat. It's part of the bombshell planner.

You know, you can get all of those. Just hit the link in the show notes. I make that plan every day.

And then I follow my plan and not my mood. I stop eating whatever it is that I'm eating. It doesn't matter if it's healthy.

It doesn't matter if it's salad. I'm not going to stuff my face on salad just because it's salad. So it doesn't count.

That's equal bullshit with any other bullshit that you believe right now. That is BS. We're not doing that.

I stopped eating anything that I'm eating at 80% full. Because if I continue to eat a whole bunch of salad, just because it quote unquote doesn't count, I'm still teaching my brain. My brain doesn't care if it's salad or not.

My brain is still going to see that I am not keeping my word to myself. I'm not following my plan. I'm following my mood.

And thirdly, I'm still a person who doesn't love and respect her body because I'm eating more than I actually need. So yeah, the strategy is really important. Of course you need it.

But when you start to move beyond the strategy and into the identity section of who you intend to become as a result of this weight loss, you start adding a layer on top of your results that become obscene in how good your results start getting. So today, who I am now overrides any strategy that I could give you. I know in my head, yes, but also in my heart, this is where you really need to know.

I know in my heart, it does not matter now what the bathroom scale says to me. I got on there this morning and the number had gone up from yesterday and I had done nothing to warrant that increased number. Nothing.

In fact, I really had fully expected it to go down, but for some bizarre reason, it went up. And the BM situation was fine because I know that can impact our numbers. But no, it had gone up.

It didn't phase me for one second. In fact, I didn't even really notice it had gone up until after I went to record the number. I thought, oh, that's bizarre.

Anyway, nevermind. Probably just means I'm in for a really big drop in the number in the next day or two. And I know that's how it's going to be.

And I know that's what's going to happen because of who I am, the way I conduct myself. Previously, who I was, was a woman who would have seen the increased number on the scale, lost my mind, run off into the kitchen and started stuffing my face with everything that I wouldn't have allowed myself to have over the last few days because I would have said to myself, well, it's not working anyway. Who cares? It's not working.

Might as well just eat. But then, of course, the number not only would have gone up on that day, it would have continued to go up. Then you binge for another five days till you can get your shit together and you can start again.

That is not who I am anymore. That used to be who I was. That's who I was for 30 years.

Not anymore. Today, who I choose to be overrides any result that I might see in front of my face. So now I know it doesn't even matter what I do or how I do it.

I'm going to win at this game because I choose to win and I won't accept any other results apart from exactly what I want to see. So that means if it takes six weeks for the scales to move again, you will find me showing up every day, getting on that bathroom scale like a winner because I know that is what I am and who I am. I will get the results that I want.

I will get the outcome that I want because I won't quit until I do. This is what consistency is about. This is the sort of power that you need to step into to be able to convince your mind that you rule everything.

Your mind can try and trick you and tell you this is never going to work for you. It's never worked before. You've never been able to keep the weight off before.

(14:13 - 16:21)

This plan sucks anyway. It can try and convince you all day long, but it's you that gets the final say. It's you.

So when you put in the work to get to a place where you are no longer fazed by any external barriers, seemingly results that you don't want, things that people are saying, things that people are doing that seems like they're doing so much better than you and want you as far ahead as they are, none of that matters to me. I don't even see it. Blinders on, stay in my lane.

It doesn't matter to me because I have put in the work to get to this place to such a degree that knowing that I am already a thin person, even though I'm not yet, when I look in the mirror, you can't tell me that I'm not. I already see it. I know it's there.

You know, when we talk about body dysmorphia and people who have actually lost a ton of weight, and I know you've all experienced this, where you've lost a ton of weight and then you go shopping for clothes and you pick the big fat size off the rack and then you go to the change rooms and you're like, why doesn't this fit? And it's your old size that you would have worn or maybe one size down and it's swimming on you. That's body dysmorphia. That's where you see something that isn't really there.

Well, I've got body dysmorphia, but in the positive. I see myself as a thin person, even though I'm not yet there yet, which means that I will now act, behave, look like, talk like, speak like, eat like a woman who is already thin, because that's just how it's going to be. Like, you can't tell me that it isn't.

That would be absurd. I am so convinced in who I am that I will now start to act that way, even though I can't see the physical results yet. So did I do the work to get to a place where I can just embody that energy all day, every day? I'll take the walk, whether I feel like it or not, because I know that that's good for my mental health.

It's not just about burning calories anymore, because that avatar, that version of me that I intend to be, that I know is there, she's just waiting to come out, she would take the damn walk and she would take it for more reasons than just burning calories. She would take it because she knows it's good for her heart, it's good for her circulation. At my age, it's definitely good.

(16:22 - 22:41)

We're doing all of this because there is a version of you that is waiting for you to arrive. She's just waiting for you to arrive. It takes time, though, for you to build up that level of conviction within yourself, for you to build someone that is so strong in who she is and what she stands for and the results that she is capable and will achieve, that that knowledge overrides anything else.

And when you get to that place, that's just a whole new level of freedom. You no longer will find yourself wavering or overthinking on tiny little bites of this or that, or should I just have it? Can I get away with eating this couple of fries off my kid's plate? You wouldn't even consider doing it. It is not who you are.

But we all have to go through a season, just like I did recently, of relearning the how before I could step into the who. So you can be in your power, you can be like, it's all good, I know who I am, I know I'm for sure going to lose weight and I know I deserve to lose the weight and that's me. But if you don't have your strategy down, it's still not going to work.

I'm talking, are you eating when you're not hungry? Are you eating just because the clock says it's breakfast and so you should totally eat now? Are you eating past 80% full? Are you sneaking in a couple of cookies when you think nobody's looking at work? Are you doing these tiny little things and thinking that you can get away with it and it doesn't matter? Because if you are, your strategy is broken. You need your strategy to be so rock solid that when you come home from work at the end of the day and you just are feeling like fat and frumpy and uncomfortable and the makeup has come off and you're just not feeling your own energy that day. You're not.

You feel gross and disgusting and all you want to do is eat anything that isn't nailed down. You need a strategy that is so rock solid, you know there will be absolutely no wavering from who you intend to be and what you know you're capable of. So yeah, you need the strategy but the strategy won't work without stepping into the mindset component of and now I'm going to act like that person that I want to be.

I'm going to act like that ideal version of me. The one that I know is waiting for me on the other side of this 30, 40, 50 kilo weight loss. I know she's damn well there.

She's there. How do you think you're going to bring her into your life? Do you think she's just going to knock up, not rock up and knock on your front door just because you lose a few kilos? That's not how it works. You actually become her.

She right now is in the distance but you're going to take the place of her in your own real life and the way you do it is by stepping into her identity now. So what would she eat? How much of that would she eat? Would she be following my eating codes or would she be counting calories? What works for her? What makes her feel alive and free and like there are no limits and restrictions and she can actually find a plan that works with her real life so that when now that she's got this weight off, she can keep it off. Does she dress herself up? Is she cute? Is she eating her food out of cardboard boxes or is she putting it on a damn plate? This is the blueprint that you need to follow and understand because when you know the importance of both components and how to balance both those energies at the same time, that is when you will see results that are completely illogical to everybody else.

So this has been my plan over the last 10 weeks. Firstly, knowing how to position myself so that I feel really good about the plan that I'm using each day. For me, that was my eating codes because yes, it's savvy for me to know and understand my calories.

Yes, I need to be in a calorie deficit, right? We're not going to play Tinkerbell and just pretend that things aren't so. Yes, you need to be in a calorie deficit. I know and understand my calories, but I don't count them every second of the day because it does my head in and I don't want to do that.

And once I follow my eating codes, I don't need to do that. So I know how to position myself so that that is no longer a problem. Then you need to know who you intend to be when this journey is over.

So simple questions like what are my personal standards as the thin, skinny, hot version of me? What would my personal standards be? And why do these choices even matter whether I stick to the standards or not? And what motivates me to continue to hold my standards each day? What are my daily habits? What are my boundaries? Why do they matter? How do I build that sort of relationship with myself and how much self-belief do I have and how much would I need in order to be this hot, thin, skinny version of me? What would her schedule be like? What are the choices that she makes every day? What does she do when she's got cravings? What's her food like? What's her workouts like? Her inner life, how healthy is that? Does she journal? What is she journaling about? What's her self-care routine? All of this matters because when you enter a realm of personal power that is so strong and your conviction is such that nobody can shake it, you become so big that who you are overrides any strategy. You no longer need a strategy. You don't need to be counting calories.

You don't need to be logging shit in MyFitnessPal. Not because you've arrived and you never have to think about your weight again. That's not it.

It's because you've taken your identity and switched on your personal power to a place where it has now become so strong that your conviction in who you are, what you stand for, what you've come here to be and how you will conduct yourself begins to take over your level of thoughts about food, the way you think about food, the choices that you made, the way you think about your weight. It's all so different now that who you used to be becomes just some fuzzy memory in your rearview mirror. So honey, I really hope that you found today useful, helpful or even mildly entertaining because if you have, please go ahead, like, love, share or feel free to leave me a review.

I would be ever so grateful. That is how we're going to continue to spread the word. As always, I'm sending you tremendous amounts of love.

Come find me over on Insta at Kylie underscore pax and I cannot wait to see you again next week. Until then gorgeous ones, bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning in.

Remember to shimmy your bar over to Kyliepax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now. You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.