You're Not Lazy. You're Just Avoiding the Work

You don’t need more willpower. You need a system that works with your real life, and now you have it. This Motivation Framework is your daily blueprint to build momentum, break toxic patterns, and step fully into the woman you’re becoming. Your life isn’t on pause - so why are you?

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BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM

Transcript

What is up you gorgeous, fabulous creatures? Welcome back to the Losing It Podcast. I am so grateful that you're joining me here today. Now, if you're loving the podcast and you want to hear more, then be sure to hit that subscribe button or share it on your story or give me a review.

I cannot even begin to tell you how much it means to me when you take the time to do that. Now, today we are talking about something so super special. So get ready for a smack down, honey, because it's coming your way.

There is a secret to how people stay motivated and how they lose weight and how they remain consistent that nobody else will share with you. And the reason is because as much as people say, oh, I don't gatekeep and I don't. Nah, they do.

Everybody does. You know why? Because they all want to be just that little bit better than you. Everybody wants an edge.

Don't lie and tell me that you don't. We all like to feel a little bit superior to the next door neighbor or somebody else in our street. It's a natural human reaction.

It's a natural instinct. It's pack mentality. It's how you know you're safe.

(0:59 - 1:23)

The better looking ones, well, in our era anyway, the skinnier ones, the prettier ones, they feel safer in society. And the ones who would have traditionally been out of the pack would be the ones who were too slow to keep up, basically. Whatever that ends up looking like, you're too slow to keep up, not smart enough, not fit enough, not pretty enough, not dynamic enough, can't keep up with the pack, bye-bye, you get left to get eaten by the lions.

(1:24 - 1:49)

So, honey, I'm going to talk to you today about a particular framework that I share inside of my bombshell blueprint. I'm going to break it down for you today, because this is the key to you maintaining motivation and consistency and momentum with your journey. You don't have those three things, you're, forget it, you're fucked.

There's absolutely no way for you to lose weight. You'll lose a kilo or two, don't get me wrong. Of course you will, because you're fucking fabulous, but you'll put it back on.

(1:49 - 4:51)

Now, I'm going to share with you, before I dive into this, I'm going to share with you a voice message that I sent to one of my private clients this morning, because she is restarting her weight loss journey. And what I mean by that is she lost 15 kilos, but then she lost focus with a whole lot of family dramas and all kinds of things were going on, and she's gained back seven. So she came back to me, she's like, Kylie, need your help.

We are going back on this journey together. Let's get moving. I need you to hold me accountable.

So she did, and she's just started losing her weight, but then she went to a family function over the weekend. She gained the one kilo back that she had lost. Okay, whoop-de-doo, we're only at the start of the journey.

But this is the message that I sent her. I don't want to tip your toe around it. You were not out partying and drinking.

You had a function, a family function, a celebration, whatever it was. But if you're going to do that, then you have to understand, you have to be prepared to pay the price. We talk about that all the time, right? Remember, everything has a price.

It would be different if you were three or four kilos down and then you had the family function. Sure, you gain back a kilo and it's not going to kill you because you know, all right, I'll lose that again in a few days. And yeah, you will lose that kilo again in a few days because it's only temporary, right? This is not like you lost all your hard work.

It's probably fluid retention from sodium, ate some extra, whatever, sweets and things that you wouldn't normally have eaten and your body's having a reaction to that. That's okay. It's not like you put back on a kilo of fat.

You've lost that fat and it's going to come straight back off. That's not the issue. You just need to make sure that you don't let what you see on the scale mess with you.

Because like I said, it would be different if you had a bit more wiggle room, but you didn't right now. You were only at the start. So you have to get your mindset strong and in a place where you can say, yeah, I am going to celebrate this weekend and I am going to my sister's.

I'm going to have a great time. And whatever the number says afterwards, I'm not going to let it F with my head because I know it's only temporary. Like I said, there's a price that has to be paid.

So you could have done that, which you did and it's fine. Or you could have chosen to go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not who I am and I'm not doing that.

Not this early in my journey. Not doing that. I'll go to my sister's, but I'm going to take my own food.

I'm going to follow my own plan. I'm going to use the eating codes. I'll follow my own rules and I'll stop eating at 80% and I'm only going to eat things that I know work for my body.

And I am not going to dig your toes in. Both options are fine. But now that the choice has been made, you now need to pivot the way you're thinking to say, okay, well, what's done is done.

So now how am I going to recalibrate and pick up from where I left off and go, okay, fine. I'm going to get this weight back off in 48 hours. Fucking just watch me.

I'm going to knuckle down on my amount of protein. I'm cutting back on the carbs, not because carbs are evil, but just because I know they don't really work for my body. They only make me end up bloated and it's going to slow down my weight loss.

Don't need that shit. I'm going to, right, tighten your boundaries and get moving. Now you could see based on this message that, yeah, you work with me, you are going to get a bit of a smack down.

(4:51 - 6:01)

There's going to be hard words, but it's always going to be with heart. So in the same way that I would help you recalibrate, if we were working together, I will help you set your boundaries, set your parameters. We're going to mark out your goals and there will be no BS excuses.

I always hit the mark when it comes to any private clients or anyone that I'm working with, even inside of the blueprint, you come to me, you're going to reach your goals. There is no options around that because I won't tolerate excuses, but I won't tolerate them with love and with squishy hugs. So let's dive into this motivation framework today.

I want you to have the same tools that I would share with any other client, because there is six months left in this year, honey, and there is no fucking excuses as to why you can't reach every single one of your goals. Yeah, I'm talking about breaking up with emotional eating, no more binge eating, hitting your weight loss goals. That's fabulous.

We love all of that. But everything that I share with you is a whole entire circle, as in it can encompass every part of your life. You can use what I'm going to share with you today to reach your goals around employment, starting a new relationship, ending a toxic one, getting into new friendship groups or leaving toxic ones.

(6:02 - 6:38)

You're going to find that these are helpful in every area of your life. So let's dive in. The first thing that I want to make clear for you today is that I am going to break down an acronym for the word motivation.

I find really often it's easy to remember things if you break them down and create cute little acronyms out of them. So if we're going to look at the word motivation and how to keep that motivation going and that momentum and that consistency in your life, the first letter for motivation is M. And honey, you have to master your fucking morning like your life depends on it because darling, it does. Now, when it comes to mastering your morning, you have to win that first hour of your day.

(6:38 - 8:45)

I mean, you need to feel like you have just climbed Mount Everest and you need to do it within the first hour of your day. Now, I'm not talking about physical exercise. What I'm talking about is wins, honey, wins.

And listen, there's going to be no bullshit. We are entering a whole new chapter here inside of the Losing It podcast and inside of my life personally. I have leveled up so fiercely that I'm finding myself almost getting a bit, I don't know, I feel like Roadrunner at the moment.

You know, in the Looney Tunes cartoons, I cannot move fast enough to keep up with my own goals. You have to win the day. So doing cutesy little tactics like I made my bed and that's a win.

What utter fucking bullshit. I can't believe that people think that's some kind of win. That's not a win.

You know what a win is? Doing something hard. Is it really hard to make your bed? Not really. Any clown can pull up a doona and shazam, you're done.

I'm talking about getting up 20 minutes earlier, 30 minutes earlier, that's hard. Making sure that you've got your milk prep done, fucking hard because you're tired. Making sure that you move your body first thing in the morning, damn hard.

You want to hydrate, move, plan, do some breathing, whatever it is. But these are the real wins that are going to set you up for success that day and they need to be happening within the first hour of your day. The reason is because whatever way you choose to start your day, it's going to dictate your decisions for the rest of the day.

So it's going to roll into your mindset and your energy and or lethargy. All of it matters. So get your water, guzzle that shit down like it's lemonade, move your body.

I personally like to dive into work really early in the morning because I love what I do. I'm excited to do it and it does help me to tick off some boxes real fast in the morning. I then would go into movement and doing things like that.

Now, I also equally love doing things like visualization and meditations and things first thing in the morning. If that's you, honey, go your hardest. I personally can't do that early in the morning as much as I've tried.

(8:45 - 11:11)

Well, I can do it, but it doesn't work for me because I end up falling back asleep. When I first wake up, I'm really tired and it is hard for me to get up early. So if I sit down and go, let's just meditate and I'm going to visualize myself now, that won't work for me first thing in the morning because I'll fall back asleep.

My ass needs to get straight into some activity. So pick what works for you, not what the cute influencers are saying on Instagram. The next thing you're going to do is we're going to follow the O for motivation and you are going to own your damn choices because every single choice you make is a vote for the woman that you're becoming and you need to start showing up as her.

You need to start picking the clothes that she would pick, doing the things that she would do, making the food choices that she would make and speaking the way that she would speak. Does she look into the mirror every time she sees herself in a reflective surface and talk shit about herself? Or is she like, damn, you're making progress girl, you're getting better looking every day. I love that my stomach rolls are shrinking by the minute, even if they're not, you better start telling yourself that they are.

Every choice you make, every thought that you think is a vote for the woman you're becoming. It's either a vote for her or a vote against her. So you better start switching out your thinking to be in a more positive way.

Show up as her. Why? Because tiny choices equal big transformation. We fool ourselves every single day and we think that it's the big choices in our life that are going to bring big change, but that's not true.

It's the tiny actions that follow the big choices that bring the big transformation. So you can think to yourself, okay, that's it. I am going to go on a diet and I'm going to lose weight.

And it's a big choice because it could potentially change your life in a huge way. But if you don't back up your shit with every single day grind, tiny little hundreds of choices a day, will I eat this or will I not? When I do eat it, how much will I eat? Tiny little choices that are boring AF, but they show up in the everyday grind. If you can't learn to embrace that and get excited about that, then you're never going to hit your goals.

So start owning your choices because the T for transformation in here stands for tracking your emotional triggers. Oh my God. I love this one.

Cravings and binges don't just come out of nowhere. They don't surprise you. They're not a boogie monster that slides out from under the bed.

(11:12 - 11:23)

No, no. You have to start knowing your patterns so that you can shift them. So one of the things that I teach the girls inside of the blueprint is we talk about the pause, pass or permission process.

(11:23 - 11:50)

And I really love this one because it's super simple. When you get a craving or you get triggered in some way, and now you just want to eat, use the pause, pass or permission process. And what that means is you just take a pause.

First up, you pause, stop for two seconds, and then just go do something else. Even if you just take five deep breaths or three deep breaths, it only takes three deep inhales and exhales to reset your nervous system. So you can do that.

(11:50 - 17:40)

You can go fold the laundry, put some towels away, unpack your work bag, do whatever it is that you need to do. And then if you still really want the food, that's when you get to decide, am I going to even pass on that? I'm either going to pass on that food or I'm going to give myself permission to eat it. It's going to be one or the other.

But you've got to put some space and some distance between you and that decision. So you can start thinking in your right head, not in your emotional brain. Next up in this motivation method is the letter I, which means you've got to implement one upgrade every single day.

It only takes a tiny little shift every day for you to get 1% better over time. What is that going to look like for you? Is that something as simple as more water, more sunlight, more steps in your day, maybe 50 extra steps or 100 extra steps? That's not hard. It's just you not being lazy.

You don't need to overhaul everything all at once. You just need to level up one tiny choice per day. So what would that micro upgrade look like for you? And how would it feel for you to elevate in that way today? So what is it going to look like? Is it going to be more protein? Is it going to be the breathwork? Is it going to be getting your little booty in bed 30 minutes earlier? These things, while they don't seem particularly exciting, this is the everyday micro choices that I just talked about previously that are going to get you where you want to go.

It's never the big choices. It's the tiny little micro choices and decisions that you make every day, like implementing this one upgrade, one tiny thing every single day. Am I going to eliminate excuses today just for one day? Every time I remember something that I said I was going to do, I'm going to take action on it straight up.

Or if I can't, I'm going to make a note and schedule that shit into my calendar so that I can do it the next day. The next letter is the letter V. And this one I do love because this is where you get to visualize your future self. Whatever point in the day you do it is really irrelevant.

You just got to do it because she exists. She is there. She's just waiting for you to fucking start believing in her and start catching up so you can act like her.

This is so important because it really is true. It took me such a long time to wrap my head around this, that your brain can't tell the difference between what's imagined and what's real. And I get it intellectually, but it's hard to really understand physically.

Like what do you mean my brain can't tell the difference between something imagined and something that's real? It's like, well, it can't. If you think about it, your brain is in a box and it only knows the four walls of that box. So if you see a pink elephant, or if I tell you the words pink elephant, your brain is going to see a pink elephant.

It doesn't know if it's real or if it's something that you're just looking at inside of the box. It doesn't care. So utilize that skill and start seeing yourself at your most fittest, thinnest, leanest, healthiest, toned, strongest, whatever it is that the words are that fit for you.

You don't need to be like the latest influencer and super muscly just because that's what you see online. If that's not your heart's desire, you're not going to go for that. You might be happy being a more well-rounded version of the current body that you have.

It might look like you just being able to fit into the pair of jeans that currently you know you used to fit into six months ago, but right now they don't do up. And for you to be able to close that zipper, that's what you need to start imagining in your mind. See yourself as her and just think, what is she wearing each day? What would she say in certain situations when somebody triggers her? How hard does she believe in herself? And spend three minutes a day visualizing yourself as her, or at the very least showing up as her.

Because the next letter is the letter A, and we are going to anchor in those new habits. You are going to start stacking your healthy rituals on top of the things you already do. Habit stacking, you all know, everybody, I feel like everyone in the universe has read the James Clear book on the habits.

And once again, I can't remember what it's called. Habits, the James Clear book on habits. Okay.

We all know what it is. He talks about habit stacking. What is habit stacking? It means if you want to start doing something new, stack that shit on top of something you're already doing.

It just makes it XXL easier. So change is going to stick when you tie it or link it to something that you're already familiar with doing. So what is one thing you can do every day that's going to anchor a new habit into your current routine? So you can say things like, okay, I think I could do what Kylie talks about, that visualization.

I reckon I could do that. So every night after I brush my teeth, I'm going to sit for 30 seconds and do visualization. Stack, anchor, repeat.

That is as complex as it needs to be because now we're going to roll into the next letter T in the word motivation. And this one is coming screaming out of the gates of my eating codes. You're going to tune into your hunger.

You're going to eat only when you're physically hungry and you're going to stop eating at 80% full. You're no longer going to eat because it's dinner time or breakfast time. Like that is such bullshit excuses.

If there was a quote unquote time of the day, then all of us would stop universally at this particular time. And we would all feel physical hunger at that time. It's not a thing, not a thing.

Your body will let you know when it needs nourishment. You don't need to tell it. It will tell you.

It's pretty smart. It's got things down pat like that. Just think about the heart beating, the liver functioning.

It knows it's shit. So your body will know when to eat. You have just forgotten how to listen.

(17:40 - 18:07)

So start asking yourself, am I physically hungry or am I just emotionally uncomfortable right now? If you're not sure how to even tap into this part of your body anymore, because it's been so long, it's like, girl, I don't even know what physical hunger feels like anymore. Then slide your little booty on down into the links below. Grab my eating codes free course.

It's all there. How I lost 20 kilos. Just follow the bouncing ball and you will tune into your hunger and learn real fast.

(18:07 - 19:55)

Exactly the steps that I took to lose 20 kilos. And you'll be able to do that too. You're only going to eat when you're physically hungry.

And when you do it, you're going to stop eating at 80% full because the next letter is I, and this is how we're going to interrupt old patterns. What is this looking like? Using a breathing process, use that pause, pass, permission process that I talked about earlier, but you're going to create a circuit breaker in your life. Because if you are in a situation right now where so many of us find ourselves periodically, where you're in a shitty job or a toxic relationship, or you just need something in your life as a circuit breaker, you might have emotional eating going on and it's just a repeated loop right now.

You come home exhausted every night, you're tired, you're hungry, the kids are immediately at you. You need to create your own circuit breaker. So what is that going to look like? Are you going to pause for 30 seconds, tell everybody to stop clawing at your legs? Yet they will get fed after you get your three minutes of nourishment.

And that might look like locking yourself in the bathroom, lighting a scented candle, having a shower to unwind. That actually will help ground you. But give yourself permission to revisit any urges that you need to revisit later if they're still there.

But give yourself that couple of minutes break to create a circuit breaker. You can't think that you can just flick the switch on your own, especially at the end of the day. You need a ritual that you now will know this is my particular circuit breaker.

It's going to look like me walking the dog, or it's going to look like me telling everybody that mum needs 15 minutes on her own every night when she gets home and don't even fucking think about knocking on that door. Unless somebody's arm has been locked off, leave mum alone. These are the types of things you need to do to decompress.

(19:55 - 21:43)

So let's keep going with the letter O and you're going to optimize your environment. This one, I cannot even stress how important this one is. You've got to clear the crap out of your environment and set yourself up for success.

What does this look like? It means setting success cues in your environment. Your space right now, your physical space that you surround yourself with in your own home is a mirror for your success. So if you have got cluttered shit all around you, laundry that needs putting away, beds that are never ever made, dirty dishes in the sink, dishwashers that are overflowing, like clothes and shit everywhere, a bathroom that looks like it was hit by a grenade.

None of this is helping your emotional state. Your willpower, of course, is limited. Your environment needs to work with you.

It doesn't need to stress you out. So what is in your space right now that is sabotaging your success? Because if you've got clutter on the outside, that is a mirror for the clutter that is on the inside. Whether it's just causing you thoughts of stress or upset because it's making you feel like, oh my God, every time you see that mess, you think to yourself, I know, I know I said that I would do this.

I am just recently on another big cull of everything that's in my house. And one of the things that I love, love, love to do is to cull my wardrobe. And I said to Phil last night, it's coming.

I can feel another cull. She's just around the corner. And I said, the question that I'm going to be asking is, if I died in this outfit today, would I be okay with that? Because if the answer is no, then it's leaving my wardrobe.

Like it's pretty little high heels are on its fucking way out the door. I only want things that make me feel good every single time I put them on. So start removing the same toxic triggers from your environment.

(21:43 - 22:42)

Clean up messy spaces, even your online environment, get rid of toxic follows, junk food that you just don't need staring at you in the house all day long and add your cues for success. Like, okay, once again, I'm going to have a second, I'm going to put my journal on my pillow. So every night before I go to bed, that's when I write a gratitude page or whatever shit turns you on, right? But make your environment a space that you actually enjoy being in so that it works for you instead of plotting against you.

Because we are now going into the final letter of your motivation routine, which is your night time routine. And this one, I love that this one is last because it flows straight back in full circle around to the first letter in motivation, which was your morning routine. And this is why this particular one is so important.

If you don't own your night, you will lose your day. I've just got to even say to you, honey, you have got to own your night or you will lose your day. And why this is so important is because your morning starts the night before.

(22:43 - 24:50)

This is a society that is utterly and completely obsessed with people's morning routines. We love their little glow ups. We love their morning routine and their curated little coffees that they're pouring out of their machines and look how beautiful it is.

And meanwhile, behind the scenes, it took them six hours to do their morning routine. Well, I'm not here for that bullshit. What I'm here for is a morning routine that starts the night before.

In order for you to have a successful morning routine, what would your night time routine have to look like the night before? What time would you have to go to bed? What time would you have to start winding down? What rituals would you need to have in place and what ones would you need to eliminate? Would that look like you making sure your kitchen is tidy and then shutting the kitchen down by 9 p.m. so there is no more snacking and no more bullshit eating after 9 p.m.? Would it look like you doing a certain meditation or a visualization, maybe from inside the app, doing that to help you sleep at night so you can visualize your future self? Would it look like a beautiful skincare routine? What would it look like? No screens after 9 p.m. or 10 p.m. What is it for you? But whatever it is, make sure that you put as much effort into your night time routine as you want to be able to get out of your morning routine because there is no options here. You need to be able to excel at the night time routine if you want to be able to get the most out of your morning. So, honeys, as always, I hope you found today really, really super helpful because I have freaking loved it.

I am sending you tremendous amounts of love. And once again, if you love what you're hearing and you want to hear more, please go ahead, leave me a like, love, share, leave me a review or hit that subscribe button because that is how we're going to spread this message around the globe. I am sending you love.

I cannot wait to see you again next week. And until then, gorgeous ones, bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning in.

Remember to shimmy your butt over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now. You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.