5 Mindset Traps Keeping You Overweight (And How I Finally Lost 15 Kilos)

Most women think their biggest problem is food, but food isn’t the problem. It’s the symptom.

In this episode, I open up about the five mindset traps that kept me stuck at the same weight for years. These are inspired by Napoleon Hill’s 30 Major Causes of Failure and they were destroying my confidence and keeping me in a cycle of emotional eating.

I share exactly how procrastination, emotional decision making, negativity, quick-fix thinking, and settling for “fine” stopped me from seeing results, and how I rewired my mindset to finally lose fifteen kilos and feel free around food.

You’ll hear the shifts that turned my motivation into momentum, my discipline into self-respect, and my envy into inspiration. Once I stopped looking for the next diet and started understanding the thoughts behind my choices, everything changed.

If you’ve ever started strong on Monday and found yourself in the pantry by Wednesday, this episode will hit you right in the gut and wake you up to what’s really been holding you back.

Listen now and learn how to turn awareness into action, rebuild self-trust, and become the woman who doesn’t just lose the weight but keeps it off for life.

You’ll Learn:
✨ How procrastination keeps you “planning” instead of progressing
✨ Why self-discipline is actually self-respect in motion
✨ The energetic cost of negativity and comparison
✨ How to quit the quick-fix addiction and start building habits that last
✨ Why raising your standards transforms your identity (and your results)

Listen if you’re ready to:
🔥 Stop self-sabotaging your goals
🔥 Rewire your mindset for long-term weight-loss success
🔥 Step into the 1% of women who do the work and get the results

Join the Bombshell Blueprint

Get the Free Weight Loss Course

👋🏼 Let's Be Besties!
Instagram

BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM

Transcript

Most women think that food is their biggest problem, but food is not the problem. It's you. You are the problem.

It's not your plan. It's not your coach. It's not your metabolism or the menopause.

It is you. It's you not doing what you say you're going to do. It's you not being who you say you're going to be.

It's you skipping over the uncomfortable parts and expecting big ass results. It's you knowing who you want to be, but still sitting back and acting like who you don't want to be. The problem isn't out there.

The problem is you. And today, I'm going to show you exactly how to fix it. What is up you gorgeous, fabulous creatures, and welcome to another week inside of the Losing It podcast.

You're here with Kylie Paxx, Australia's emotional eating coach. And if you love what you're hearing and you want to hear more, please remember to hit that subscribe button, because if you're still confused why you start every single Monday strong, and then by Wednesday, you're in the pantry again, this episode gonna be your wake up call. I'm about to break down the five mindset traps that held me back from losing weight.

These are the things that kept me fat, broke, and miserable. And it's straight out of Napoleon Hill's 30 major causes of failure. I didn't realize until I looked them up that my big ass was all over that list.

And once I shifted my mindset around it, I was able to lose 15 kilos. I stopped the emotional eating and completely changed my life. So let's dive in.

If you were to look up the word procrastination in Wikipedia, my big ass face would be all over it. I was the queen of procrastination. I loved making new habits.

I love making lists and I would carry them out for maybe a day or two, but then I would drop them and have all the reasons in the world why it was extremely valid for me to wait and do that thing later. Let me tell you something. A habit missed once is a mistake, but a habit missed twice is the start of a new habit.

And that is where I spent my entire life. So the first mind shift that I needed to change was entirely around procrastination and the I'll start tomorrow syndrome. My old mindset was I'll wait until I feel motivated.

I need the perfect time to start, or I've got to wait for life to come down. There's too much going on. But the reality was there is never a perfect time.

In fact, that is your mistake. The mistake is thinking that there's going to be a time when there is a better time. And every single delay was postponing my transformation further and further into the distance until it became such a tiny speck.

(2:24 - 3:06)

I didn't even believe it was possible for me anymore. I was using planning as a disguise for my procrastination. I would sit for an hour and make fancy plans on spreadsheets and I would download apps and pay for year subscriptions.

And I made all the plans in the world. I would colour code them. I had out my highlighters.

I would make a special trip to Officeworks and print shit off and get special coloured highlighters and pens so that every single day had a different colour code. But did you see me executing? No, you did not. The journals were there.

The meal plans were there. I would watch the videos, but I was never taking real action. So my brain was getting a dopamine hit from preparing, but I was never following through.

(3:06 - 4:52)

Let me tell you something right now. Thinking about it isn't doing it. Talking about it isn't doing it.

Researching it isn't doing it. Watching videos about doing it isn't doing it. Thinking about doing it isn't doing it.

Imagining how good it's going to feel when you do it isn't doing it. The only thing that is doing it is doing it. Procrastination is just fear dressed up as some kind of strategy.

And we think that by being organised, we're going to avoid any potential failure. But really, that sort of procrastination is also causing you to avoid your success. Here's what I did.

I replaced motivation with momentum. There's no other way around it. I stopped asking myself how I feel.

Do I feel ready? Who cares? It's irrelevant. The job needs to be done either way. I simply started asking what would the 1% version of me do? What would that 1% woman do right now? Would she be sitting around colour coding things with pretty highlighters or would she be executing and taking action? Every one tiny step that you take.

Pouring the water instead of the wine. Journaling instead of snacking. Every single one of those was a deposit into my identity bank because that is the change that really had to be made.

You can't afford to sit around and wait until you feel ready. What you can do is start acting your way into readiness. Because when I stopped waiting for Monday and I started building that proof that I was already capable, that's when everything finally started to change for me.

The second mindset I was stuck in that was keeping me fat, miserable and broke was a lack of self-discipline. I was completely letting my feelings make up the rules. And honey, your feelings do not get to vote.

My old mindset was just let my emotions run the show. I should tune into my body. I think I need something sweet.

(4:52 - 5:05)

Oh, better go get some chocolate. If I was stressed, I would snack. If I was sad, I would eat sugar.

If I was bored, I would binge. But the truth is my lack of emotional regulation was dressed up as me telling myself that I have no willpower. I didn't have a food problem.

(5:06 - 6:35)

I had a problem with emotional regulation. And here's how it was holding me back. I was eating to escape my emotions instead of just letting myself experience them.

You know I've spoken about this time and time again. Emotions only last for 90 seconds in your body. Every feeling has a 90 second lifespan before the chemicals dissipate and leave your bloodstream.

And now you're sitting back and you're thinking, Kylie, you are such a fat liar. I've experienced emotions for way longer than 90 seconds. Yes, you have, girl.

Yes, you have. And the reason that has happened is because you've kept the thought process going that has distributed more of those chemicals into your bloodstream and kept the emotions going. The truth is every time I told myself just one more bite, I was crucifying my own self-trust.

Self-control isn't discipline. You shouldn't be focusing on discipline. You should be focusing on consistency.

And that's the switch I had to make. It's basically self-respect in motion. When I decided to adopt the mentality that discipline isn't punishment, staying consistent isn't punishment, it's freedom disguised as structure.

When I started following through on my plan, even though and especially when I didn't feel like it, that's when my confidence started to skyrocket. It wasn't even about the weight at that point. I built emotional strength by showing my brain that I could feel uncomfortable and live.

(6:36 - 13:11)

I could feel uncomfortable and still choose to stay in alignment with the vision that I had for myself. Discipline and consistency aren't some kind of punishment. They're actually the foundation for the life that you want to live.

And once I built that emotional resilience, I didn't need willpower anymore because that consistency became the self-love boundaries that I'd always craved. The third mindset that was keeping me fat broke and miserable was me living my ass in victim mentality. This one is so huge.

If there was a street called Victimhood, I would have bought a house on there. In fact, I would have bought every property on the street. I would have knocked down all your houses and just built my own dream Barbie house there because that was where I lived.

I was trapped in comparison. I was always thinking, why her? Why not me? Why did they have the money? Why did they have the look? Why is she so beautiful? Why can't I have her body, her legs, her personality? Why? Why couldn't somebody else have mine? I remember this story from a thousand years ago. There was a brother and sister that I was friends with and the brother told me that one day he was walking through the shopping center with his sister and she, very much like me, was always struggling with her weight.

And she was walking next to her brother and she was complaining as she looked at all the other females around her and she said, why can't I look like her? Why can't I look like her over there? And why don't I look like that beautiful girl over there? And then her brother looked at a woman sitting over in the corner on her own who was fat, broke and miserable and didn't have the looks that his sister had. And he said, and why don't you look like her? It was such a light bulb moment for me. We don't see how good we've got it.

What we've been blessed with was meant for us. It wasn't meant for somebody else. And what they were blessed with was never meant for you.

So how utterly ridiculous for you to sit back and think, why can't I have her blessings? Why can't someone else have yours? You're not even enjoying what you've got because you are so fixated on what somebody else has. I sat back and envied what other women had when I wanted it too instead of setting my butt in motion to go get it myself. I would let that envy turn me into a bitter person instead of being an inspiration for someone.

And because of that, I kept proving myself right over and over again. The more I told myself nothing works for me, the more nothing worked for me. But the deeper truth, all that negativity that I buried myself in was just a safety net.

As long as I just sat back and expected to be disappointed in life, I never had to feel the real pain of being let down because I lived in a place of constantly being let down by myself. And that energy, that repels the results that you want to see in life. Nothing wants to come running to you at that stage.

But the day I started celebrating other women's wins, that's when my own results started to accelerate because envy is not a bad thing. It shows what you actually desire to build in your own life. So I started saying, if she can, then I can too.

And once I dropped that victim energy, girl, I became magnetic, not just in opportunities, but to a whole new level of self-worth. Jealousy is just unactivated potential staring you in the face. So when I decided to let that go, my body responded to my energy.

Because if there's one thing I know in this life, you cannot hate your way to happiness. The fourth mindset shift that was keeping me fat, broke, and miserable was having an uncontrolled desire for that quick fix addiction that we all fall victim to. My old mindset was, I want results and I want them right now.

So I was constantly searching for the next detox, the next cleanse, the next quote-unquote reset, when in reality, I was addicted to the short-term highs that they gave me, when I should have been focusing on the long-term transformation. Because this is how it held me back. I would lose a few kilos, but I would gain them straight back.

I confused intensity with identity. Just because you go hard, girl, doesn't mean you've changed how you see yourself. I wanted the transformation, but I didn't want to go through the transformation process.

Honey, your results are not going to happen by chance. They're not going to happen through another reset, cleanse, or detox. They're going to happen by change.

You cannot shortcut your way to self-respect. Because if it's not sustainable, then it's not real success. What it is, is another form of self-sabotage that you've dressed yourself up in and you're looking real pretty as you dance across the delusional stage of your life.

The mindset shift that I had to make, I had to stop asking myself, how can I lose it fast? And I had to start asking myself, how can I lose it permanently? Girl, you know sustainable weight loss doesn't come from hacks. It comes from the habits that you cultivate in your life that you can maintain and sustain long-term. Listen, I know slow isn't sexy, but it's stable.

And that stability is what you need to create the results that last. The women that are out there chasing shortcuts, they always end up back at the starting line. So when I stopped rushing the process, that's when the process finally worked.

Now this last mindset shift that was keeping me fat broke and miserable is one that it was embarrassing to admit to myself, but I know I have to share it with you because I think so many of us fall for this. As much as I wanted to think of myself as a go-getter, I had a real lack of ambition to aim above mediocrity. In other words, my level of CBF was off the Richter scale.

My old mindset was, oh, it's not that bad. It's all right. I've lost a little bit.

It's not as bad as it used to be. I'm not obese anymore. I'm not that miserable.

I was kind of just okay with being okay. But here's the truth. That mediocrity, it's the silent killer of your dreams and your potential and what you came to this earth to be.

It's comfort dressed up as, oh, it's not that bad. No, honey, you need to feel the pain. It is that bad.

It's so freaking bad that you need to shift your ass right now because here's how it's holding you back. You'll stop pushing yourself. You'll mistake not being in so much pain and discomfort anymore for being happy.

And you'll set embarrassingly small goals so that you don't have to feel disappointment if you don't reach them. We're not rolling like that here anymore. The woman who lives a life of fearing failure is also going to live a life of regret.

Being quote unquote fine is the enemy of being fucking phenomenal. And you have the ability to be phenomenal. Don't tell me that you don't.

I know you're a 1% woman. That's why you're listening to this damn podcast. So here's the mindset shifts that I had to make.

I had to stop asking myself, what can I get away with? Oh, you know we all do this one. Every single night sitting in front of the TV, how much can I eat without gaining weight tomorrow? It was a game of Russian roulette night after night after night. The CBF factor is real.

(13:11 - 14:16)

And the only way out of that is to start asking yourself, what would my 1% version of me do? You know how people get around with their WWJD bracelets? Girl, you need to make one for what would the 1% version of me do? And when you start embodying her, how she eats, how she thinks, dresses and moves, that's when your results will become automatic. You will never rise to the level of your goals, but you will always fall to the level of your standards. And when I started acting like the woman that I wanted to be, not the woman that I was comfortable being, but who I knew I had the potential to be, my actions and my body caught up.

Honey, when I stopped trying to find another new flashy diet and started focusing on my thoughts, my mindset, the thought processes behind my choices, that's when everything changed. You can never out diet your mindset. If you see yourself in any of these five traps, it's not because you're weak, it's because you are wired that way.

But wiring, wiring can be changed. And awareness is the first step. Action is the second.

(14:16 - 15:01)

Honey, if this episode hit home for you, take a screenshot, share it on Insta and tag me at Kylie Pax with your biggest mindset shift from today. And if you're ready to stop thinking like the 99% and start becoming that 1% woman, get inside the bombshell blueprint. That is where you've got me holding your booty accountable all day long.

Because one woman listening today is going to change her life. The other, she's still waiting for Monday. Which one are you? I will see you next week.

Until then gorgeous ones, bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning in. Remember to shimmy your butt over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now.

You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.