You’re Not Behind - You’re Just Becoming

If you feel behind in life, stuck in comparison, or trapped in emotional eating, this episode will shift your mindset and help you become the woman you came here to be.

I'm dropping truth bombs: you’re not behind. You’re in the middle of becoming. I'm breaking down the psychology behind comparison, emotional eating, loneliness, and how to rise from self-sabotage to identity-driven action.

If This Episode Hit Home:
Screenshot and share it on your Instagram stories (tag @kylie_pax)

Join The Bombshell Blueprint to stop emotional eating and become unrecognisable in 90 days⤵️

BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM

Transcript

What is up, you gorgeous, fabulous creatures, and welcome to another week inside the Losing It podcast. You're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's emotional eating coach. And today we are diving into something so good.

I know it's something that every single woman has felt, but never wants to say out loud. Because the truth of the matter is, we feel like we are behind in life, behind in weight loss, behind in your career, behind in your levels of confidence. And especially this year, as I hit my mid-fifties, I feel like I am behind in becoming the woman I swore that I would have been by now.

So if you are nodding your head and thinking, oh my God, yes, that's me, then this episode is for you. Now, before we jump in, please remember, hit subscribe, follow the podcast, leave me a review, or just share it to your stories. It makes me so, so happy when I see you guys pop up with the podcast because it lets me know that it's making an impact and helping you live the life that you came here to get.

Now, honey, this is the truth that you need to hear today. And I want you to hear this with your whole heart. When you are born, you look like your parents, but when you die, you look like your decisions.

What have your decisions looked like this past year? I know for me, I absolutely have felt like I've been behind. I made amazing progress earlier this year with my weight loss, and then it stalled. Now, let me be very, very fucking clear.

It wasn't the weight loss that stalled. It was me. I just got myself in some bizarre kind of holding pattern, and I couldn't be effed getting myself out of it.

(1:34 - 2:08)

Now, if I'm going to be really, really brutally honest about it, I knew exactly the reason why this had happened. I had stopped doing my mindset work. And this is what we do so often.

When you start getting success in a certain area, like with our weight loss, we stop doing the exact shit that got us the success in the first place. Why do we do this? Because psychologically, you're not in as much pain as you were anymore. When I was up at my heaviest weight early this year, I was in a lot of pain, probably physical pain, but it was mainly emotional and mental.

(2:08 - 2:44)

But once that pain starts to subside, the things that you were doing to get rid of that pain no longer seem as important. Oh, it doesn't matter if I don't take Molly for a walk today. It doesn't matter if I skip the gym or skip yoga or skip my training.

It doesn't matter. But it matters probably even more than it did when you started doing it, because as you start slacking off, of course, so do your results. The number one thing that I had quit doing for myself, really, was my mindset work.

When I look back on my life and the times when things were the most amazing, I was making the most money. I had the most amazing relationship. My business was thriving.

(2:44 - 2:56)

My body was thriving. Everything was great. And I felt great.

I was extremely disciplined with my schedule. I was up at 4.45 a.m. every single morning. I was spending time with God.

(2:56 - 9:36)

I was doing journaling. I was live streaming every day. There were certain things I was doing that were lighting me up from the inside out.

And I want you to hear this. You're not behind. You're not late.

You're not stuck. You're simply in the middle of becoming who you've always supposed to be. You see this version of me today and looking super confident and coaching women globally.

I've got the pink hair, the podcast, the whole thing's going on. But there was a version of me that stayed up all night binge eating on biscuits and chocolate in the dark because food was the only place where I didn't feel like I was a big, fat, fucking disappointment. I used to sit back and scroll social media and think everybody, everybody has got it figured out but me.

And it's so easy to fall into the trap of comparisonitis. But it's not the truth. The truth is you think right now that working on your mindset is not as important as working on your body and losing weight.

You think when I lose the weight, then I'll deal with everything else. But the truth is when you deal with everything else, then you will lose the weight. Right now, you think the mindset work is not that important.

But the reality is that is the one thing that you cannot afford to skip. And why? Because everything you do in your life is mindset work. Every single decision.

Do I get up this morning at 6am or 8am? Mindset. Do I stay up eating all night or do I go to bed? Mindset. Do I skip the workout or do it later? Mindfucking set.

You've got to stop being such a weak pussy to yourself and get the fuck up. Decide exactly what it is that you want and then pursue it relentlessly as if your life depends on it. Because honestly babe, do you want to live a shit life where you're uncomfortable in your body every fucking day and you live this life full of regret, constant regret because you know you could have done better but you chose not to.

I'm telling you as a woman who has been through so many, I'll just say traumatic events. From divorcing the husband that I was with for 25 years, to being diagnosed with chronic lupus and being told that I would be in a wheelchair by the time I was 25. I was molested by two family members, two male family members in my, oh god how old was I? It was before the age of 10 and into my teens.

These two people were brothers and I don't think that each one knew what the other fucker was doing. And to this day it still burns me that I actually thought, because they grew me that way, but I thought that that's what love and acceptance is. I was then raped by one of their friends at the age of 17, became anorexic and bulimic in my 30s, I mean no surprises there.

Had multiple investment properties, a brand new house, several brand new vehicles that were like 100k each and then lost it all in my 40s. There's my beautiful mum and my uncle on their deathbeds. I mean if I had a reason to be a little fucked up in the head, I could take out the award honey, just give it to me right now, roll it on in, give me the parade, it's mine.

But even with all of that, it's not the pressure that makes the diamond, it's the cut. And if you want to win at life, you are going to have to cut out things, people, places, thought processes that do not align with the woman you want to be. Feeling behind usually comes with three little sidekicks.

You're either comparing your chapter one to somebody else's chapter 20, or you think being confused or lost means that you're failing, or you believe you have to be quote-unquote fixed and ready and perfect before you can even start. But listen, I've coached thousands of women and I'll tell you the one thing that I've really seen every single time for sure, the most successful women on this planet weren't the fastest ones, they weren't the perfect ones, they were the ones that didn't quit when it got messy. Babe, your role between now and the close of this year is to stop seeing other women as your competition and start seeing them as proof that what you want is actually possible.

Because the woman who has everything that you want, she's not your competition, you're not in competition with her. She is evidence that the thing, the people, the places, the relationship, the finances, the business, all the things that you want are possible for you as well. So when you see somebody winning, instead of feeling like you're behind and talking down to yourself, why don't you try asking yourself what you can learn from them? What are their routines like that you can hack and integrate into your life? What is she doing that you're not doing yet? Sit back and think about the highest version of yourself that you can create in your mind.

What she looks like? What she feels like? What she smells like? What fragrances is she wearing? Does she have long hair or short hair? Coloured hair or she let herself go grey? What is going on? Because I'll tell you, you've been given that vision to chase because you have a responsibility to go and get it. And I'll tell you one more thing while we're yapping about this today. If you don't have a definite purpose in your life, apart from just getting skinny, I mean honey, how embarrassing for all us women that grew up in the era that I did, 70, 80, 90, where dieting was like a crime scene really.

There was zero consideration for your health. I grew up in the Denise Austen, Susan Powder, Jane Fonda era. I mean Lycra and Leggings were my BFF.

And I had magazines like Dolly and Cleo and Cosmo telling me to just drink water, have a margarita and a half a hot dog each and that was going to get you skinny. And the saddest part, we didn't. Like clowns in a rodeo, we did whatever they told us to do.

But babe, your life should not be a full-time job of trying to lose weight. You need a purpose in and alongside that. Yes, weight loss is important.

Not because you're going to be skinny, because you're going to feel good, feel amazing, be happy and be healthy. That's what it's about. You being at your ideal weight isn't about fitting into a societal standard.

It's about you feeling like a fucking powerful diva who has overcome one of the greatest challenges in this lifetime that it ever has to offer. And if you don't have a definite purpose alongside of that, you will continue to chase temporary distractions. When you're chasing quick hit after quick hit, you never actually take the time to look in the mirror and face what's truly there.

Because if you're placing all of your value on just chasing the next high, the next diet, the next quickest way for me to get skinny, then it's clear that you don't value yourself. You actually end up valuing the next high that you get from quick, speedy weight loss more than you value yourself and your mission in this world. And truth time, babe, until you master yourself, you cannot master anything else because you're in your own fucking way.

(9:36 - 11:28)

So let's talk about creating unwavering discipline. How do we do that? The number one thing I hear from my clients is I need to be more disciplined. I need to be consistent.

Well, here's how it happens. You're going to create some core beliefs and values around that 1% version of you. What are your actions, appearance, the character that you would have, the energy that you would operate from? What are your non-negotiable values? Your output is never going to surpass your identity.

That is why the number one thing I teach inside of the Bombshell Blueprint and with all my one-on-one clients is identity, identity, identity. You can never shift higher than how you actually see yourself to be. So I'm going to give you four areas to look at that will start making the biggest changes and the easiest one and probably the funnest one is appearance.

So what is the exact appearance of that 1% version of you like? Does she have tattoos? Does she not have tattoos? Is she super muscly or is she sleek and slim? What's her hair like? What's her skin like? All of it. Then you're going to move on to the actions that she would be undertaking each and every day. What are her habits like? Is she getting Uber Eats each night? Is she making shitty food decisions or is she avoiding that and she's eating super healthy? Does she eat to avoid her responsibilities or does she face things in her life? Is she waking up early? Is she moving and training? Write down the actions that she would be taking each and every day.

And just FYI, as a bonus score, I would also write down the shit that she would not do, the things that she would no longer tolerate, like she would not sleep in because she knows that the price of that is way too high. She doesn't eat stupid crap all night and watch Netflix. She would never do that.

The third thing you're going to do is focus on her energy. Write down the energy that she would possess. Is she positive? Is she high vibe? Is she solution driven? And then lastly, you're going to look at her character, personality and demeanor.

(11:28 - 12:41)

How does she think, feel, behave? Is she reliable and honest or is she a shady ass beast? And now that you have this blueprint mapped out, all you have to do the next time you want to engage in lower self activities is step into that disciplined version of you. And you can start by cleaning up your socials, unfollow all the people who make you feel like crap and start following the people who inspire you, make you want to rise up higher and level up. And then ask yourself, if I didn't feel like I was behind today, if I believed I was exactly where I was supposed to be because let's be real, everybody wants to see the trophy, but nobody wants to see the train wreck that happens in the middle.

If I was exactly where I was supposed to be, what choices would I make today? And then just pick one tiny area to improve by 1%, whether that's going to be your meals or movement or mindset. You don't need to overhaul your whole life in one sitting. Just keep moving forward.

And then, and then. This is eating code number four all over. My favorite eating code in the whole world.

Girl, you got to act like the woman you want to become because she's the only person who's going to get you there. If you found today helpful, I just want to remind you, you are not running late to your own life. You are just in the middle of your transformation story.

(12:41 - 13:45)

And one day, this current version of you, the tired, overwhelmed, doubting myself version of you, she's going to be the reason why another woman believes she can make it too. So honey, get up, take this next one small step today. And remember, you are not behind.

You're in the process of Honey, if today's episode hit your heart, please remember to screenshot it, share it on your stories or tag me at Kylie packs and leave a review, because this is how we're going to change the lives of women around the world. And if you're ready to stop emotional eating and lose weight without all the drama and become unrecognizable in 90 days, join me inside of the bombshell blueprint. I cannot wait to see you there.

I hope you have the most amazing week. I cannot wait to see you again next week until then gorgeous ones. Bye for now.

Thank you so much for tuning in. Remember to shimmy your bar over to Kylie packs.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way. Now.

You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.