Why Your Weight Isn’t Changing (And How to Finally Break the Loop)

If your weight isn’t changing, it’s not because you don’t know what to do. It’s not because you’re broken. And it’s definitely not because you haven’t “tried hard enough.”

In this episode, I'm breaking down the real reason most women stay stuck in the same weight loss loop year after year. And it has nothing to do with motivation, hormones, or willpower.

This is a brutally honest conversation about self-deception, avoidance, discipline, and identity. You’ll learn why “trying” is keeping you stuck, how comfort disguises itself as self-care, and why real weight loss only happens when you stop negotiating with the version of you that keeps quitting.

If you’ve been starting over every Monday, losing and regaining the same weight, or feeling frustrated that nothing is changing despite your effort, this episode will hit hard.

And more importantly, it will show you exactly how to break the loop.

In This Episode:

• Your weight loss isn’t stalled because of food, time, or motivation
• How avoidance masquerades as self-care 
• Why intensity isn’t the answer
• Why you don’t trust yourself around food (and how change that)
• The identity shift required to lose weight permanently
• Why most women retreat instead of change
• The single decision that separates women who transform from women who stay stuck

Get Kylie's exact weight loss Blueprint
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Get Kylie's Free Weight Loss Course
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BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS FOR EMOTIONAL EATERS

Transcript

Okay sis, you better strap yourself in because this one's gonna sting a little today. If your weight isn't changing this year, it's not because you don't know what to do. Of course you know what to do, none of us are idiots.

You're not broken and it's not because you've tried everything and nothing works for you. You can see me doing that with a little quotation marks and my eyes are rolling. It's because you're not being honest with yourself.

You have not brought honesty into the room and given her a seat at the table. And I don't mean you're lying on purpose, I mean it's that quiet, sneaky, El Diablo type of lying. The kind that sounds really reasonable.

Like when you tell yourself I've got no time but you spent all night scrolling. Or you say you want to be really confident and feel energetic but you're skipping the exact habits that are going to make that happen. Or, and then there's the best one, when you sit around overeating all night because you tell yourself you deserve it.

You've had a really hard day but in actual fact, you're just trying to avoid the discomfort of facing your feelings. If any of this sounds familiar then get ready because you and I must have been separated at birth. I genuinely thought I was trying but the truth is I really wasn't.

What is up you gorgeous, fabulous creatures? Welcome to another episode inside of The Same Week. It's the Lucy here podcast. You're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's emotional eating coach and I'm so, so happy and so excited to have you here with me today.

(1:11 - 4:12)

We have just wrapped up another live call inside of the Bombshell Blueprint. I, you can hear me, I'm super vibey right now because I'm so excited to have been chatting with all the members this week. And of course, you know I'm so, so grateful to be able to spend more time with you here.

So, if you're loving what you're hearing and you want to hear more, you know what to do. Go ahead and make sure you hit that subscribe button. Share this out with the bestie because that's how you're going to make sure that you never miss an episode and an opportunity to get your booty in gear this year.

Ooh, that's your Disney rhyme for the day because today we are talking about why your weight isn't changing this year, even though you had really high hopes but I'm going to help you break the loop. So, I'm going to start by giving you some big sis advice that I know is probably going to rub you up the wrong way. What does that even mean? But you need it.

Your weight isn't stuck, but your mindset is. You're sitting around with your besties saying how badly you want to change, but you won't address the exact habits that are keeping you stuck. You've got the same habits, you've got the same mindset and you've got the same lame ass excuses.

And yes, here you are trying to feel productive and making plans and putting things out on spreadsheets, but at the same time, you're avoiding the exact thing that you're planning to do. Neither of those things create change. And if you're out there thinking that the problem is time, or Kylie, I don't have enough time, or I really need to feel motivated, Kylie, how can I be expected to do anything in this weather or with these circumstances or under this amount of stress, or here's the best one, I just talked about this in today's live call, hormones, honey, no, no, hormones are not your problem.

If your girl can lose 18 kilos at nearly 55 years of age in full blown menopause and with all the stars aligned for me to never succeed, then you can do it too. You don't need that. You don't need willpower.

It's none of those problems. It's your own self-deception. You're just BSing yourself.

You say that you want change, but your habits are telling me that you don't. And until you give that honesty a seat at the table, nothing is going to change. So I'm going to start today by holding up a mirror and I'm showing you where you are effing things up.

Because right now you're feeling like, especially if you're in my age era, okay, we're now in our 40s, 50s, maybe you're heading into your 60s and you're like, look, I can't do the things Kylie that I used to be able to do at 20 and 30. And of course you can't, neither can I. And you know, quite frankly, just between you and me, neither would I fucking want to. My life was a crime scene back then.

So now I am in my softer era and I do want to take better care of myself. But that in itself can open the door for you to make choices that you feel are really sensible, but you're actually skipping routines because you're telling yourself you're tired. Or you're avoiding the structure that you know you're able to carry out, but you know, I don't want that kind of pressure.

Or I'll wait till I feel ready. It's only January. Let me just wait a little bit longer.

You're keeping your options open just in case. Just in case, you know, something better comes along. But the version of you who is right now avoiding the exact plans that you know you need to be following, the structure, the routine, she's the same version of you that is blocking your expansion, your growth and your results.

(4:12 - 5:15)

The problem isn't hormones or your busy schedule or the kids running around, like I say on a Gerry Springer episode, it's not the case, not the situation. The problem is that right now you are protecting an identity that no longer fits where you're trying to go. Listen, honey, I know what it's like.

We've all got our fat clothes and our skinny clothes in our closet. Don't tell me that you don't because I know that you do. We all have outfits that we used to be able to wear when we're skinny.

I want to get back into that dress. I need to be able to fit back into those jeans. And then we've got our moo-moos on the other end of the wardrobe that are like, and this is the shit, ugly ass stuff that I'm wearing now.

And you don't like it and it doesn't even look good, but you're hoping that one day you're going to get back into your skinny clothes. Well, why don't you take the body that you've got right now and try and squish them into the skinny clothes? Does it fit? And even if you could get it on, would it feel good? Would you be comfortable? No. That's trying to squish your current identity into a brand new version of you that you want to be, but it doesn't fit yet.

Of course, it's going to feel uncomfortable. Of course, it's going to be bulges and seams splitting. It doesn't fit you yet, but that's the whole point.

(5:15 - 6:13)

That's the point of weight loss and that's the point of mindset transformation as well. It takes time. It's not going to fit automatically.

It's not going to be comfortable automatically. It won't even happen very quickly, but just like weight loss, tiny bit by tiny bit, that dress will become easier and easier for you to get on until it actually ends up being comfortable. And then maybe in due course, even too big.

You should never stop outgrowing your current identity. If you haven't changed in a decade, go, it is time for you to level up. So let's talk a little bit about discipline because this is where most of us are getting it wrong.

You think that you've got to go really hard, really intensely for a really long period of time. And none of that is true. You're not going to be successful at your weight loss and giving up emotional eating this year because you do it with some superhuman level of intensity.

Listen, girl, you might be Wonder Woman, but you don't need to wear your gold bracelets every day. You don't need to punish yourself or push yourself or try and get a bunch of perfect days. That is not what discipline is.

(6:13 - 9:28)

Discipline looks like you stopping putting up with your own BS. The next time you hear that voice in your head going, I don't want, I don't like, I don't think, I don't feel. That whiny voice, that's the one that says, I don't want to do this.

I don't like that. I don't think that's good. I don't feel like it.

That is where discipline needs to enter the room. If you were sitting back and watching a Netflix show, the whiny voice would be the villain and discipline will be the superhero. Discipline is you moving with intention, making intentional choices, showing up in the way that you can on your good days and on your worst days.

Discipline looks like you following your plan, not your mood, not the other way around. It's you keeping the momentum alive no matter what the level of intensity looks like. So some days, yeah, you are going to be going for a 45-minute walk.

Well, that's great. I'm sending you the clapping hand emojis, but that's not a regular every day. That's something you can do when you're in the mood and the sun is shining and you ate pasta for breakfast, so you've got a bunch of energy.

Girl, that is not me on just about any day. I'm lucky to scrape in a 20-minute workout, but I'm going to get that shit done because I will not drop my standards for anybody, most especially their own whiny shitty voice in my head. Now, you want to start making progress this year? It's never going to happen until you can start rebuilding your self-trust.

You have dieted for so many years that you don't trust yourself. And it's not the diets that broke your self-trust. It was you.

You. You broke your own word. You said, I'm going to do this diet.

And then you did it for a couple of days and then quit. And then you said, I'm going to do this juice fast. And then you did it for four hours and then you quit.

Listen, when I did the Atkins diet, girl, I thought I'm going to do the Atkins diet. Everybody around me is eating cheese and meat and all this fatty stuff. And they're getting so skinny.

I thought, listen, even though I was plant-based for like 20 years, this dumbass right here thought she was going to suddenly become a carnivore overnight. I'm telling you, I would have drunk monkey urine if I thought it was going to make me skinny. So I got out there and I fried up bacon and eggs and I took cheese with me to work and I ate it for my breakfast.

Now, not only did I just about throw up, but that's how long my Atkins diet lasted. I lasted through breakfast. And then I thought this is complete bullshit.

And I went out and bought Chinese fried rice for lunch. I kept breaking my word to myself left and right. And even though it's good that I broke my word to myself in that situation, because it just did not align for me.

It was just one more time stacked on top of all of the others that I said, I'm really going to do it this time. And then I would be shoveling chocolate in my face by that evening. You have to stop negotiating your standards based on how you feel.

This is why diets don't work because they are shitty and they do require intense focus and force in order to make them work. Whereas the blueprint that I follow now is easy and it's relaxed and it's adaptable and it's flexible. If you haven't got my free course yet, I give you all of the eating codes for free.

So just skip on over KyliePax.com forward slash free course, and you can download them and watch the videos for free. So you can get started and stop being such a liar, liar, pants on fire to yourself. Now you are never going to build the life, the body, the mindset, the energy that you want while you continue to try and protect the old version of you.

(9:28 - 12:04)

I talked about this on our live call this morning. And I said that old version of you, it's like the Michael Jackson's thriller video on VHS. You say you want change, but then you're sitting down in front of MTV every day and you're letting Michael Jackson's thriller play in your mind.

And that dead ass identity of yours keeps resurrecting itself out of the grave. And there you are in your own home, dancing away with those corpses and thinking that somehow your life is going to change for the better. You are hooking up those old identities onto life support every single time you break your word to yourself.

Every time you say, I'm not going to eat any more ice cream. I've already had enough ice cream to last a lifetime. I'm not going to have it for a couple of days, but then you do.

Same habits, same excuses, same BS stories. You're not transforming anything. Real change has no backup plan.

We're not keeping an emotional escape hatch open and there's none of this. I can always start again tomorrow. That is not happening.

You're not going to lose weight this year by adding more shit into your schedule. You're going to lose weight this year by removing the version of yourself that you are no longer willing to be. The women who are becoming unrecognizable this year are not going to be the youngest, the prettiest, the most genetically blessed, or the luckiest.

That's not it. It's the woman who refuses to keep turning back. You're not failing right now, but what you are doing is retreating.

Retreating back into the old version of you because it feels comfortable. But the women who really change this year are the ones who decide that old version of me is no longer an option. This year does not need more effort from you.

What it needs is just a frigging decision. Not tomorrow. Not next Monday.

Not when it's easier. Right now. And the question is very simple.

Who are you done with being? Just sit with that. And then when you've got the answer, girl, act accordingly. Thank you so much for joining me here today.

As always, if you're loving what you're hearing and you want to hear more, please remember to hit subscribe. I am so grateful for everybody that is tuning in this week. And as always, the only person who has the power to change your life is you.

When you step up, stop BSing yourself. Quit dancing the Michael Jackson Thriller dance. It doesn't look good on you, honey.

That is when you've got what it takes. I'm sending you love. I'll see you again next week.

Until then, gorgeous ones, bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning in. Remember to shimmy your butt over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now.

You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.