Fire the Version of You That Keeps Breaking Promises to Herself

This episode isn’t about motivation or trying harder. It’s about self-betrayal and the quiet erosion of self-respect that comes from saying you'll start Monday, week after week after week, and you never do.

If you keep starting over, negotiating with yourself, or losing trust in your own word, this episode will hit home.

In this episode, I introduce a powerful framework I call “firing your internal employees.” You are not one version of you. You are a company made up of many internal versions. Some of them don’t keep their word, negotiate standards, and sabotage follow-through.

And yet, YOU keep letting them stay.

You’ll learn:
 • Why your real enemy isn’t food or willpower
 • How self-betrayal destroys control and confidence
 • Why your brain is wired to survive, not succeed
 • The difference between motivation and control
 • A 3-step process to firing unproductive versions of yourself
 • How final decisions rebuild integrity and follow-through

Weight loss is never the point.
 Self-respect is.

When you stop negotiating with yourself, everything changes.

Get Kylie's exact weight loss Blueprint
Get Kylie's Free Weight Loss Course
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BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS FOR EMOTIONAL EATERS

Transcript

Strap yourself in, bitches. Today's gonna be a good one. I want you to think about yourself as a company, not some kind of cute Pinterest-y quote way like be the CEO of your life.

(0:11 - 0:21)

I'm not talking about that. I mean literally you, your physical body, you are the company. And inside of that company, there are dozens of employees.

(0:21 - 0:30)

I'm talking different versions of your ass. The version of you that you roll out when you're with your friends. The version of you that becomes all authoritative when you're with kids.

(0:30 - 0:38)

The version of you who, oh, this is a great one. The version of you who sits back and says, I'm starting on Monday, but she never does. The version of you who negotiates with your ass every single night.

(0:38 - 0:59)

The version of you who swears this time will be different. You've got all these employees living inside of your body. And if they are not taking your company and making it a billion dollar venture, then what the fuck are you doing still engaging and entertaining, even having these people in your employ? Your problem, girlfriend, is not food.

(0:59 - 1:15)

Your problem is that your company is full of rat bag employees who keep breaking their promises, do not hold themselves to any kind of standards, and, and, oh wait, it gets better. Your sorry ass is letting them stay. What is up, you gorgeous, fabulous creatures? And welcome to another week of the Losing It podcast.

(1:15 - 1:23)

You're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's emotional eating coach. And today we are talking about something so brutal. I am very, very excited about this.

(1:23 - 1:32)

Cause it's something that I was speaking about with a private client today. Then I did an entire masterclass on it inside of the bombshell blueprint. And it's just too good to let go.

(1:32 - 1:37)

I'm still chewing on this piece of meat. So I thought I'm gonna do a podcast about this. Cause it is incredible.

(1:37 - 1:50)

I'm gonna give you the tips to firing that version of you that is keeping you stuck, miserable, broke, and overweight. Because let's stop BSing ourselves. The damage here that is happening to your body, to your mental stability, isn't your weight.

(1:51 - 2:01)

The damage is the erosion of any levels of self-respect that you might have or used to have that come from saying, oh, I'm totally gonna stop. I'm not gonna keep binging. And then you don't stop, you don't stop nothing.

(2:01 - 2:06)

Or I'm really gonna join the gym and I'm really gonna go this year. And then you don't follow through. There's no follow through.

(2:06 - 2:13)

Show me the follow through. Or then you're sitting around with your besties and you're all telling yourself, yeah, I'm gonna take it real seriously this time. I'm gonna cut down on my drinking.

(2:13 - 2:27)

I'm gonna stop eating so much sugar. But by 7 p.m. that night, you're negotiating why that's the worst fucking idea that you've ever had and promising you'll start tomorrow. Every single broken promise that you make, you are making another withdrawal from your integrity account.

(2:27 - 2:35)

And quite frankly, so many of you are broke. And it's exactly why you're staying stuck and miserable. It's not because you can't eat properly.

(2:36 - 2:47)

It's not because we're dumb asses and we don't know what we're doing. We fail because we keep employing these versions of us who don't keep their word. They're lying asses keep showing up to business each day.

(2:47 - 2:56)

We keep writing them paychecks like we've got some never ending supply. And the betrayal loop just keeps running. You promise, you negotiate.

(2:57 - 3:04)

You break your promise, you lower your standards. And this goes on until quite frankly, you should be embarrassed and ashamed. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

(3:04 - 3:14)

Now, here's the part that most coaches are not going to talk about because it's not a little whippy woo woo. It's just basic human biology and science. There is not one version of you.

(3:14 - 3:24)

There are multiple versions of you. And some of them, sis, are actively sabotaging the company that is you. Let me give you some examples.

(3:24 - 3:38)

There is a version of you that whines every time something feels hard or uncomfortable or difficult, but you still keep bringing her into the business each day. Then there's a version of you who just loves planning. She's there with her colored highlighters and her fucking amazing textbooks.

(3:38 - 3:48)

She's ordering the ADHD planner off of Amazon, but she never executes a thing. You still welcome her into the building each day. Then, oh wait, I'm only just getting started.

(3:48 - 4:03)

There's a version of you who says, this is my year, this is definitely it. And every January disappears and it turns into February, March, now it's December, and you wonder why you're not seeing the changes you wanna make. You keep negotiating instead of making a solid decision.

(4:04 - 4:15)

Those employees that you keep welcoming into your company, they're not your friends. They're not even frenemies. They're just lame asses that are underperforming and they are holding your company back.

(4:15 - 4:26)

And quite frankly, they are bleeding it dry and keeping your ass broke. If you looked at it from a strategic business standpoint, there is no successful CEO out there. Let's think of some of the big ones.

(4:26 - 4:59)

Like for me, I think of the entrepreneurs, Oprah, Beyonce, Tony Robbins, the Hormoses. None of these people are keeping employees in their companies who are consistently missing deadlines, making excuses, undermining the standards of the company as a whole, being some big energy suck on everybody around them and stalling the progress of the company. Every single company should be on an upwards trajectory, but you keep employing the lamest asses in your company and thinking that they're gonna help you get to where you wanna be.

(4:59 - 5:11)

Wrong. Let's talk a little about the changes that need to be made. So you need to establish some control within your company instead of negotiating with the dickhead, bottom of the barrel employees that are sucking you dry.

(5:11 - 5:19)

Here's what that actually looks like. You exercising control is not you trying to motivate those deadbeat employees. That's not what is gonna be helpful.

(5:19 - 5:31)

It's also not gonna be you trying to inspire them or just sitting back and giving them some like warm ass hugs and hoping that they feel ready to step up and meet their criteria. That's not gonna happen. It's not a thing.

(5:31 - 5:50)

Show me how that's a thing. You taking control of your staff members means you decide who is no longer allowed to run the show. You have given the biggest roles and the most ownership of your company to the people with the least execution record, with the least motivation, with the least nows and the least track record of ever doing the things I said they would do.

(5:50 - 6:01)

A company who's on an upwards trajectory to a billion dollars does not have a boardroom full of employees that are squabbling all day. I know I need to do this. I know I need to execute on this project, but I don't wanna, I don't like it.

(6:01 - 6:05)

It doesn't feel good. I mean, it's laughable. But you're sitting around doing that exact thing.

(6:05 - 6:18)

You are hosting internal meetings with your excuse board and you're negotiating with the impulses board. And then you're deciding that this weight loss gig just probably isn't even for me because I can't control myself around food. No, no, that's not a thing.

(6:18 - 6:27)

You've got the wrong employees leading the company. So sis, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna fire their sorry asses and they don't even get their superannuation.

(6:27 - 6:36)

There's no severance package, no nothing. They tell them to go into their office, pack their little fucking cardboard box and they're out of there. This is not a soft exercise.

(6:36 - 6:55)

I really want you to sit back and identify at least, at least three versions of you that are no longer viable, but you've probably got a minimum of 10. If I'm gonna be real, I could sit back and easily come up with 10 versions of me that is holding me back from reaching my full potential and achieving what I wanna achieve this year. There is lame ass Kylie.

(6:55 - 7:01)

There's excuse making Kylie. There's sleep in and hit the alarm Kylie. There is join the gym, but don't fucking go to the gym Kylie.

(7:01 - 7:16)

There is sit and watch Netflix all night when I said I was gonna do some meditation or visualization Kylie. There are so many fucking pathetic versions of me that it's embarrassing that I still have them within my company. So I want you to think about these employees that you are paying weekly.

(7:16 - 7:38)

Girlfriend, you're paying them. You're paying them in your time, your potential, your sanity, and you're gonna round them up, write them down on paper and send them off into greener pastures. It's the version of you who says she'll start, but she doesn't, or the one who plans, but doesn't act, or the one who breaks her promises every single Friday night when she wants to go out partying and drinking and get sloshed and then rationalizes it the next Monday.

(7:38 - 7:44)

You're not gonna give them no severance package. They don't get nothing. They're not gonna get rehired later when they come crying back to your front door.

(7:44 - 7:50)

Say, well, you know, I need to put food on the table for my family. I don't give a rat's ass. I don't care what you and your family need.

(7:50 - 7:59)

You're not welcome back at this company. They don't get one more chance. Every single time you leave that door cracked open, even just a little bit, you reopen the loop.

(7:59 - 8:25)

And that open loop is what is destroying your authority within your own company. You know when you think you're employed, well, you know when you're employed by someone and you think that the CEO and the head leadership is a dick? Well, that's what these employees think of you. Are you gonna continue to pay people who are actively sitting around laughing at your ass, making fun of you, undermining your authority, destroying your life, and you keep paying them? You go give them squishy hugs at night.

(8:25 - 8:29)

I love you. Try and do better tomorrow, sweetie. Oh, no, no, no.

(8:29 - 8:38)

That shit stops now. Your brain hates ambiguity. It's time for you to make some final decisions so that all employees, both the good ones and the lame ass ones, can start respecting you.

(8:38 - 8:55)

So let me break it down for you, the three steps to firing the asses of these unproductive employees. First of all, you're gonna identify where you are giving your power away to these clowns. So firstly, before you fire anyone, you need to see who's actually running the company because this is what most women don't even do.

(8:55 - 9:10)

We miss this entire step. When you give your power away, you also give away your potential, what you could do and achieve and who you could be. Every single time you hesitate, every single time you negotiate, every single time you delay on a decision that you already know the answer to, that's not you being weak.

(9:11 - 9:21)

That is you misplacing your authority and putting it in the hands of the wrong employees. Your brain is not designed to help you win in life. It's designed to keep you comfortable and safe.

(9:21 - 9:28)

Here's your tweetable for the day. And yes, I am using the term tweetable because I refuse to call it X. I just think it's stupid. Your brain is wired to survive.

(9:28 - 9:44)

It is not wired to succeed. So this first step is brutally simple. All you need to do is ask yourself, where am I handing my decision-making creativity powers over to my moods, my impulses, or my fears instead of my standards? That's the wrong employee.

(9:44 - 9:54)

Those ones right there are the ones that need reviewing. The second thing you're going to do is make a final decision. For goodness sake, make a decision, woman, and close that loop.

(9:54 - 10:00)

This is where most of us fall apart. It's easy to identify the problem and you can do it. You can do it a thousand times.

(10:00 - 10:10)

I know I need to be consistent, Kylie. I know I need to stop overeating, Kylie. I know I need to stop eating at 80% full, Kylie, but you leave that door cracked open so those employees can come back and sneak back in the building.

(10:10 - 10:18)

You fire them, but you don't take away their security pass. The woman you want to be doesn't try harder. She simply decides differently.

(10:18 - 10:35)

She's not out there arguing with herself. She's not renegotiating what she's going to do tomorrow, and she doesn't keep holding performance reviews for the same dickhead, underperforming employee. She decides once, she closes that loop, and that is quite frankly the trade-off that most of you are not willing to face.

(10:35 - 10:57)

Losers fear being rejected, but winners fear regretting the decisions or the choices or the opportunities in life that they didn't go for. You need to start fearing regret more than you need to start fearing the rejection of those pathetic ass employees who don't even like you to start with. Listen, I promise you, you're either going to disappoint the old version of you or you're going to regret staying stuck with her.

(10:57 - 11:07)

There is no third option. Fire the employee, close the loop, no severance, no rehire. The third thing you're going to do is replace those negotiations with some active follow-through.

(11:08 - 11:29)

What does that look like? Well, quite frankly, this is where your self-control is rebuilt from the ground up, and it's not going to happen through motivation or because you suddenly got a big shot of confidence. It's going to happen by you taking active agency over your life and build it through repetition. Honey, I'm telling you, we've spent our whole life as emotional eaters and overeaters, we have spent our whole entire life looking for an easy way to lose weight.

(11:29 - 11:41)

I know I have. I've spent thousands and thousands and thousands looking for an quote-unquote easier way to lose weight than what you fucking know works. Sis, the hard way is the easy way.

(11:41 - 11:49)

Doing the thing when you said you would do it. Eating the meal that you had planned to eat instead of making excuses and getting Uber. Stopping when you said you'd stop.

(11:50 - 12:03)

Showing up when it's inconvenient and you don't feel like it. That's actually the fastest way out of this mess because momentum is going to beat talent every single time. You can win at almost anything if you stick with it long enough.

(12:03 - 12:16)

And when that self-doubt shows up, which it will, you're not there to soothe it. Those employees, they're going to come back to the glass front door of your building and knock and beg and plead and do the big sad cat eyes from Shrek. I don't care.

(12:16 - 12:20)

You're just going to look at them and wait. Bye. Bye to your sorry ass.

(12:20 - 12:27)

You're not going to soothe them. You're not going to try and analyze what the problem is and you're not even going to wait for them to leave. You just get up and do the work anyway.

(12:28 - 12:34)

Outwork your self-doubt. That is how new employees get trained. That is how standards are enforced.

(12:34 - 12:44)

And that is also how your self-respect gets rebuilt. So I know this has been a little aggressive today but I feel like it's the kick up the booty that we all need. This is the only thing you need to do today.

(12:45 - 13:09)

Girl, audit your freaking company. Who is still employed that should not be? Who keeps breaking promises? Which ones are they? Who keeps lowering the bar because it is time to fire their ass? Decide once, close the loop and raise your standards because once the wrong employees are gone then the right version of you finally has room to step up and lead. And when she does, girl, please, everything else follows.

(13:09 - 13:18)

Thank you so much for joining me here today. As always, if you've loved what you're hearing and you want to hear more, please go ahead, hit that subscribe button or leave me a review. I would be ever so grateful to hear from you.

(13:18 - 13:25)

And that is your Disney Role for the day. I'm sending you tremendous amounts of love. And as always, please remember, the only person who has the power to change your life is you.

(13:25 - 13:38)

When you step up and, oh girl, please fire those people that are not supporting you in your life. I don't mean the employees that are not just cheering you on. I mean the ones that are not giving you a solid supporting role.

(13:38 - 13:49)

If they are not there to increase the trajectory of the company, to take it forward into its billion dollar stratosphere, then their ass needs to go. Until that time, I'm sending you love. I cannot wait to see you again next week.

(13:49 - 14:02)

Until then, gorgeous ones, bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning in. Remember to shimmy your butt over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now.

(14:03 - 14:10)

You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.