How I'm Becoming Unrecognisable This Year

In this episode, I break down exactly what I did to lose 18kg, the mistakes I made, what caused the regain when my standards slipped, and how I’m entering this year differently so the transformation becomes permanent.

This isn’t about food hacks.
It’s about identity, standards, and decision authority.

If you’ve struggled with emotional eating, binge eating, or starting over every Monday, this episode will show you what actually creates lasting weight loss and how to apply it in your own life starting today.

You’ll walk away knowing:

• How to stop negotiating with cravings
• How to structure your days so food isn’t decided emotionally
• The standards I dropped that led to the regain
• How to course correct quickly without spiralling
• Why weight loss must become a by-product, not the obsession

If you are a woman over 40 who has struggled with weight loss your whole life, this episode is your blueprint.

You don’t need a new diet.
You need a new identity.

And this is where it starts.

BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS FOR EMOTIONAL EATERS

Transcript

Today's episode is taken from a live call inside of my signature program, The Bombshell Blueprint. If you want to know more about the blueprint or how once you get your little myths on it, you can finally stop sabotaging your progress and start losing weight, just head on over to KyliePax.com forward slash blueprint or hit the link in the show notes. So what did I do last year exactly to lose 18 kilos? For real, like what exactly did I do? So I'm going to give you the road, the roadmap today for exactly how to become unrecognizable in 2026.

And again, I want to reiterate, this is about so much more than losing weight. I know we all come here for the weight loss, but it's about so much more than just losing weight. Okay.

This is about finally, finally becoming the woman that you keep saying you want to be. But you haven't, you haven't been able to do it yet. 2026 is either going to be the year where you stop repeating the same patterns in this brand new calendar, or it's going to be the year where you stop negotiating with that old version of yourself and just get the shit done.

It's just, there's no two ways. I can't put it, sugarcoat it or put it for you any other way. So let's start today talking about how and why you did not reach your weight loss goals last year.

Because there's a reason for everything. If there was no reason for things, it would be ridiculous for you to try and remedy the situation. Okay.

If there was no reason for your weight gain, it would be insanity for you to try and fix it, change it, do something about it. But there's always a reason. And if your weight loss didn't look like the moves you wanted it to look like last year, it wasn't bad luck.

(1:59 - 7:12)

It wasn't bad luck. It was bad programming. So I'm going to run through some of the things that kept you stuck last year.

And I could summarize them in just one word, but I won't, I'm going to break it down for you. And I'll tell you at the end, really what the one single solution is. But the first thing is you were stuck in your emotional eating patterns.

It wasn't your age, wasn't your metabolism, wasn't your hormones. Because you know your girl here, I'm 54. Okay.

I'm going to be 55 this year, full blown menopause. I managed to lose 18 kilos at a stage in an age where they tell you it's impossible. And not only that, not only that, I know you've seen my before and after photos.

I had the big belly, big, that's all entirely gone now. And it wasn't because I cut out carbs or sugars or fats or did anything crazy. I just followed the eating codes.

I still ate my chocolate every day. I did make healthier versions of some sweets, like, because I'm a sweet tooth. So I made, you can see it on my Instagram page.

I just posted it again this week, a brand new recipe that I created, like a Snickers cross with a cherry ripe. Fantastic. Got like 20 grams of protein per serve and just like a hundred and something calories.

It's nothing. So you can have your cake, you can have your cake and eat it too. Yeah.

Inside of the blueprint. So it's none of those things. It was you using food as a form of relief, reward, escapism, and really in some cases, sedation.

Like this is what we do. Emotional eating isn't about the food. It's about you avoiding discomfort.

Let's call it what it is. It's about you not liking whatever is going on, whether it's in your outer or internal landscape and finding the quickest, fastest way to shift. Get out of it.

Change that, change that view. Avoid it. The problem is avoidance like that always has a price tag that's coming later.

Second reason why you didn't get the success you wanted last year is due to your procrastination and excuses. Call a spade a spade. I'll start Monday.

I'll do it after this, after this event. I just, I've mentioned this previously. I don't know where, who I was talking to.

My beautiful girlfriend, beautiful. We've been besties since primary school and we've always struggled with our weight together. And I said to her prior to Christmas, we were catching up and I said to her, oh my God, like your boobs look amazing.

Whatever she was wearing, she just looked great. I said, your boobs look great. She goes, yeah, Kylie, I'll put on weight.

That's what's happened. Like I put on weight. So everything looked great, full of beautiful.

Anyway, I thought she looked great, but she said, no, I'll put on weight. And then she sort of announced to the table. She said, but you know, we've got all these functions coming up now before Christmas.

So I'll start in the new year. I just zipped my lips. I thought that is the biggest trap, the biggest trap because you're going to, with that attitude, you're going to get to the new year, another seven kilos heavier or whatever.

So telling yourself after these events are out of the way, then I'll get it together. Or, or when life comes down, works too busy, the kids, when they're back at school, whatever it is that we tell ourselves. But the whole time, the truth has been that if you would just act like your life was calm, then you would have gotten the results that you wanted.

Procrastination is just your shit ass excuses and your fear and intolerance to any form of discomfort in some, it's dressed up in a Camilla dress. So it looks pretty. That's what it is.

That's all it is. Like it's time for that shit to go. Okay.

The third reason why you stayed stuck last year, no accountability, because this is the biggest thing that you need. When you're making little secret promises to yourself in private, I'm going to do it. I'm going to change, but nobody else knows about it.

That's not going to change your behavior in public. It's not, you've got no structure, no check-ins, no standards that are being enforced. So you hoping that things change, that's not accountability.

Even having motivation, it's not accountability. Systems and somebody to hold you compliant with them, that's accountability. The next reason why you didn't see the changes you wanted last week is because potentially for some of you, I know I was a victim of this forever, being stuck in the perfectionism, all or nothing, self-sabotage cycle.

So when you have one off plan eat, it turns into like, well, I've screwed it up now. I might as well just at least go the whole day. And then, well, it's Thursday or it's Friday, who starts a new plan on a Friday? Like nobody, I'll just eat my way through the weekend and I'll start next week.

And then that turns into next month. And your perfectionism is self-sabotage. I don't want you to anymore just call it something that it's not.

The next time you hear yourself saying, oh, I've messed up because you ate one crumb or one bite of something that wasn't on your plan for the day. Oh, I messed up. I want you to just tell yourself, no, no, I didn't.

That's me trying to sabotage your shit again. I'm not doing it. Remember this, if you get nothing out of today's call, remember this, your rate of progress is entirely reliant on your recovery speed, not you being flawless throughout this program.

(7:12 - 7:38)

I'm going to say it again, so important. Your rate of progress, how quickly you progress and see results here is entirely reliant on how quickly you recover when you do fall off track, not you never falling off track. That's how it is.

The next reason that you may have stayed stuck last year is probably because of stress eating. We all do it. We all fall victim to it.

(7:38 - 9:45)

It's just another part of the emotional eating entourage. Stress doesn't make you eat though. So let's be clear.

Stress doesn't make you eat. Your lack of emotional regulation makes you eat. So food is, what I mean by that is when your emotions are not regulated and you have no way to regulate them, then food is going to be the fastest way to switch off your nervous system and distract it.

And until you build better regulation tools and systems and protocols, food will always be your default. So that's what we're going to be going through today. And lastly, lastly, I could just wrap it all up with this.

Honey, you didn't live as your future self. You weren't doing eating code number four. You were not acting like the person you want to become.

You won't, you won't, you just won't. And it's the root of everything. You cannot sustain actions that directly conflict with how you see yourself.

Pausing for emphasis. You cannot sustain actions that directly conflict with how you see yourself. So last year, when I started seeing myself as a winner and a woman who gets what she wants and a go-getter, and I'm coming for all that God has for me.

And as a woman who doesn't take shit, especially from myself, a woman who has create strong boundaries and holds herself to them, that's what changed. But this is why I always say, and especially with private clients, the beginning of any weight loss journey is the hardest part. And it's so cruel because it's when you've got the most weight to go and you need the most motivation, but like a monster, you need the most motivation and the most enthusiasm, but you've got none because you're still overweight.

You feel how you've always felt, but you're supposed to act differently. That's where you immersing yourself into every single piece of content that you can find here inside of the Blueprint, it's going to be, it's what's going to carry you through. It's going to be the win for you.

(9:45 - 10:27)

It's going to be the win. Use everything. You were not failing last year.

What you were doing was staying loyal to an outdated version of yourself. So let's, with all of that in mind, okay, let's move forward today because, and on that topic, because I think it's so important, I'm going to carry that forward into this next section that I want to talk to you about because you can't move forward. Like I said, you can't move forward while staying loyal to who you used to be.

That old version of you, she cannot come with you into 2026. She can't. She can't.

You can't pack her up and bring her baggage with you. It's going to hold you back. So you're not broken.

(10:28 - 11:34)

You're not unable to do this. You're just purely running on an outdated operating system right now. So when you still refuse to let go of who you've always been, but you just try and slather some new goals on top, right? New goals.

You can't slather new goals on an old identity. It creates friction between the two and friction always leads to burnout or binging, burnout or binging. There's no other option there.

So that is why I say to you, it's not about finding more willpower. It's about you aligning with this new version of you that you want to be. Now, this is bigger than weight loss.

And it took me a long time in the marketplace for me to realize that people only want the weight loss. But I knew years ago when I started this business years ago, when I started as Australia's martial eating coach, and I realized people only want the weight loss, but I knew they needed to change their identity. They need to change who they are and how they see themselves.

(11:35 - 12:34)

So I just want to say to you again, it's not about a diet and it's even more than a glow up or some when you're doing, this is my reset. It's not about that. This is about upgrading your standards, from the inside out, redefining the ones that are really going to be needle moves for you, like your sleep, setting boundaries that actually protect you and reinforce what it is that you're trying to achieve here and building systems that don't rely on you being in a certain kind of good mood or motivational mood or happy mood or no problems in your life in order for you to be able to move forward with them.

Again, you don't need motivation, you don't need a clear calendar, you don't need no problems in your life before you can tackle this. What you need is standards, standards, which is the word I was going to say to you at the beginning here, you need standards so high that you even starting to sabotage them now feels uncomfortable. That's what you need.

(12:35 - 14:23)

That's what you need. And that's what I did differently. So that's what we're going to talk about now.

So when I talk about the things that I did differently, I'm talking about the tiny little daily decisions that took me from being stuck, stuck, stuck, so stuck for 30 plus years of my life. I had glimmers of success, but I always fell back to my old habits. It's so different this time.

See how I grip my teeth. It's so different this time. It feels different.

It looks different. Because I know it's different. Because this time, for the first time, I'm fully committed.

And FYI, if you haven't either downloaded your version of the bombshell journal yet, or ordered your hard copy with me, then let me know because this is going to change your life. This is what I do daily. So I fill in the sections in here daily, not once and then shove it in a drawer.

I do it daily. And that is how I know that this is a done deal because that's now part of my standards. So we are going to create a new identity.

And this was the first thing that I did last year. Before I even set goals, I set an identity. And once you do that, using the eating codes isn't a task anymore.

It's your default setting. So you now want to start thinking about, and there's so many, sorry, I know I always jump around, but there's so many great guided visualizations inside of the membership. So many great ones.

I send some of them periodically to my private clients. I'm like, do this today. This is what you need to do.

(14:23 - 15:20)

There's ones where I walk you through the process of actually meeting your future self and being able to have an audience with her. And like, so what did you eat to get here? And what times did you go to bed? And how did you handle these things? All of this is inside the blueprint. It's all inside there.

You will see when you click down on the menu, you will see mindset, all of the visualizations, talk tracks, everything is in there. But you want to get really clear on how your future self eats. How does she respond to stressful situations? What does she no longer tolerate in her life? And you need to start doing those things before the scale moves even one gram, one gram of weight before you lose one gram.

You need to start implementing these steps. The next thing that I did, I fell in line with or decided to get in line with the law of authenticity. What is that? Well, basically, it's this, I stopped breaking my promises to myself.

(15:22 - 16:39)

I stopped saying one thing but doing another. I stopped saying I would start on Monday, but I'd only do it if it was comfortable. I stopped saying I would start getting in daily movement, but it would only last for two days.

Every time you say I'm not going to overeat tonight, but you do, you are reinforcing the identity of the exact person that you do not want to be anymore. Your new identity, this new way of thinking, and I don't want to freak you out when I say identity, it's like, but I want to be me. I like me.

You're you, don't worry. You're not going nowhere. You're still going to be you, but you're going to be the upgraded version of you, living at your fullest potential.

Because there is a version of you right now, who is so freaking amazing, that this almost is very emotional. If you saw her, if you saw her, you would fall to your knees. If she walked into the room right now, like I can just picture this version of me.

If she walked into the room right now, I wouldn't be able, I would be speechless. I wouldn't be able to speak because she would be everything that I've ever dreamed of being and more. She would be, she would be in her perfect weight.

She'd be toned, and she would be glowing. Her skin would be glowing. Her hair would be amazing.

(16:39 - 17:02)

You could just feel that her positivity and her amazing energy. She would have ideal like relationships and all the things like, I mean, I feel pretty happy with our relationship, my relationship with Phil, but everything would be so great. Not because she doesn't have problems, but because when problems arise, her standards and her structure carry her through, unwavering.

(17:02 - 20:41)

She doesn't crumble. She doesn't. And all of this starts by you keeping the tiny little promises to yourself, stacking that integrity, stacking that integrity, stacking that integrity, until eventually you start to believe that you are who you say you are.

Now, this works in reverse. This works in reverse. If any of you have been in an abusive relationship with a partner of any kind, and they constantly put you down, eventually you start believing that what they're saying is true.

Tell me I'm lying. Tell me I'm lying. Tell me I'm lying.

It works in reverse, which means if we know it's true in one direction, then we can know it's true in the opposite direction. Start using those same tactics that somebody probably used on you, whether it was a parent, or a caregiver, or an authority person who had authority in your life, or a partner of any kind, or a sibling who's always told you, you're fat, you're stupid, you're no good. Nobody will ever want you.

You're not good enough. You're ugly. You can't do that.

You're too dumb. You know, we've all experienced this. Could have just been bullying at school, just could have been bullying at school.

We've all experienced it. And when it goes on long enough, we start to believe it. That's the tragedy.

It's not the bullying that's the tragedy. It's the fact that our self esteem was never solid enough that we actually believe it. Not bullying is a tragedy.

But you know what I'm saying? Okay, if we know it to be true in one area, then we can know it to be true in another area. So this is now what I did. I started cleaning up.

Actually, this is another thing that I did that really helped with staying in integrity was I cleaned up my environment. I stopped saying I was going to change and improve my life in every area, while my external environment was a tip. Now, I'm a Virgo.

So it wasn't messy. That's what I mean. I don't mean my house was a mess.

What I mean is, because I'm anal, anal, I drive through crazy about certain things that have to be like this, not like this, have to be like this, have to be perfect. Okay, so it's not even so much that. It's more about cleaning up the areas that you know, right now, are messing with your head.

So that can be your external environment. It can also be relationships, mental, your own mental chatter, the own sort of dialogue that's going on in your head, or routines that you're currently still carrying out that are pulling you backwards, like staying up too late, just one more episode, you're what you're off, whatever you're streaming, like, one little drinky poo, you know, at night turns into three or four routines that you're currently tolerating, that are pulling you backwards. You cannot evolve in spaces that are consistently reminding you of who you used to be or who you don't want to be anymore.

Write that down. The fifth thing that I started doing, I'm going to keep talking about it because you can't avoid it. There's no way to get these results that you want without it, is I started acting as if that was the turning point.

It was eating code number four. The first three eating codes, okay, which we know are only eat when you're hungry, don't eat when you're not, when you do eat. Secondly, when you do eat, you stop eating at 80% full.

That's your, these two here, they're all weight loss codes. They're all so good for weight loss, but those two will drop weight off your body immediately. You start doing those two alone, you'll drop weight within days.

(20:41 - 21:24)

The third eating code is of course to follow your plan and not your mood. So every day, I don't have my journal here, I don't have my planner here, but there's also the bombshell planner, which hard copies are also available off. The planner is where you plan your meals for the day and you write down the challenges that could come up and then you track, you actually track in this planner.

Like it's not just about writing down your meals. You can do that on a sticky note. You actually are tracking and finding out where your weak spots are and then we're plugging those holes.

Because I was talking to a client about it yesterday or the day before. I said, it's not about you writing down meals for the day. Who cares? Who cares what you're going to eat for the day? It's about you, a 6am version of you deciding what is in your best interest for that day.

(21:25 - 22:05)

And then you stick to your word. So at 6am version of you knows that your best interest for that day are going to be getting in 10,000 steps, having a high protein breakfast. I'm going to be having lunch at the office with the girls.

And so I know we're going to the food court. So I'm going to actually make sure I choose what's the lucky bowl or whatever, I don't know, whatever you're going to have. And then the eating codes still apply.

You're only going to eat it if you're hungry. When you do it, you're going to stop at 80% full. All of this still applies.

And then at night time, I'm going to have whatever it's going to be. Big salad or stir fry or whatever you're going to have. And the only reason that we write this down is because 6am version of you knows what's best.

(22:05 - 22:17)

She writes it down. She's on, she's on task. She's focused.

She's on fire. 9pm version of you, 8pm version of you, the one who rolls in the door late at night, shouldn't give a shit, doesn't give a shit what you wrote in the morning. She wants to stab 6am version of you.

(22:17 - 22:32)

She wants to kill it. You're messing with my pleasure right now because now I want to eat. Now I just want to have cheese and crackers and some wine and a gin and tonic and whatever, right? No, no, no.

It's about you. It's 8pm version of you. It's about her sticking to your word.

(22:32 - 23:55)

That's how your brain is going to get. Oh, we don't, we don't F with ourselves anymore. We don't, we don't screw up our own plans.

What kind of an idiot does that? No, we, we keep our word to ourselves. We're a woman of integrity. So acting like you're already there.

If I was already her, what habits would I have? I'll start doing them. What would my morning routines look like? Right, well, I'll start doing that now. How would I eat on more often than not? How would I eat on those days? Okay, I'm going to start eating like that now.

How or would I protect my energy? Would I protect my energy? And if I did, what, what sort of rail guards would I implement to make sure that happens? Okay, I'm going to do it now. Would I move my body? Would I move it every day? How often? What kind of movement would I do? What kind of training, training? I'd like trying to call it training now because it is trained. We're training.

It's not about the exercise. I often think about train or I've got to go train. It's like, okay, well, you've got to go to the gym and lift the weights.

It's not about that. It's not about that. Training can be going for your steps for the day because it's about you training your mind.

That's what you're really training. You're not training because you're doing some steps, isn't training the mindset work of getting your ass out the door. That's the training.

And you're not going to ever become her after the weight is gone. The weight will go because you already became her. So the next thing, okay, these are the things that I did.

(23:56 - 25:59)

Now, I want to sort of circle back. This is exactly what I did over the period of six months, the last six months of last year, when it really started kicking in for me. And this is what real transformation actually looks like.

So if you're taking notes, now is the time to start writing things down. If you haven't already, you want to set your standards so high, so high that binge eating no longer fits your persona doesn't fit who you are anymore. It would feel ridiculous.

So for me, I'm not a smoker. I've never been a smoker. Okay, so it's not like something I used to do.

And now I could probably go back to that. No, I've never been a smoker, nor have I ever been a drinker. So I don't smoke.

I'm a real nerd, a real nerd. I don't smoke, I don't drink. And that's a standard that I choose.

It's not, listen, let's be clear, smoking and drinking, no shade on anybody who does do that. These are standards that I chose. Now, I will just say, smoking, obviously, you know, that's not something that any of us really want to be doing.

But drinking for me, I don't know, this is true, never bothered to have it diagnosed, because it was just easier for me not to do it. But I suspect that I have an intolerance to alcohol, because I tried it when I was a teenager, and everybody else was getting tipsy and happy. I was just throwing up.

And I only have one drink, like one little sip of something, and I would immediately be throwing up. I never got the happy, jolly, I never got that. So it didn't take me long to figure out this is not for me.

So I don't drink. And that's just so these are my standards. I don't drink, I don't smoke.

Now for me to start doing that, for me to just go to the shops today and buy a pack of ciggies, and some booze, would feel so weird to me, I would not like it, I'd be mad that I was spending my money on that sort of stuff. I'm like, what? And then for me to actually go and do it, it would feel absurd and ridiculous. Because it doesn't fit how I see myself, not because it is absurd and ridiculous.

(26:00 - 28:34)

It's not, it's just smoking and drinking. But it doesn't fit my picture of how I see myself. So you're going to now raise your standards so high that should you try and binge eat, it would feel the way I just described with alcohol and cigarettes, it would feel absurd and ridiculous, because it's not who you are.

Stop paying attention to your cravings as if they get some kind of say in your life. They don't. Start acting as if the thing you want has already happened.

So act like the person you want to become. If I was already at my skinniest weight, I just say skinny because that's the era I was, listen, that's the era I was raised in. Don't shoot the messenger.

So if I was already at my slimmest, healthiest, happiest weight, would I be working out to keep that and maintain it? Yes. Well then start doing that shit now. And create an identity or a persona where food no longer, or create an environment and a thought process where food no longer defines who you are.

Weight loss no longer defines who you are. Who are you? What do you do? I'm on a diet. I diet.

That's what I do. Like that's been my life's career. I have not had a career last as long as my weight loss career.

This has been the career for my whole life since I was 10 years old. What do you do Kylie? I struggle with weight. I try and lose that weight.

That's what I do. Let that story change. Understand that you are not going to feel comfortable in your skin and within yourself every time you say no to yourself, because you are going to have to start saying no to yourself.

And then, and then recognize that long-term, lifelong, life-long identity change, long-term identity change, lifelong identity change, it's not going to be the result of a 30-day challenge. I wish. See how I laugh because I'm like, I freaking wish.

I wish. If we could all just do a 30-day challenge and that would actually change our entire life, wouldn't that be great? Okay. So this is the truth.

If last year did look like a crime scene with your weight loss, it's only because you let your inferior subpar standards and your old comfortable identity run the show. And that's okay. It's okay for it to be there, but you didn't plug the gaps.

(28:34 - 28:52)

And so any progress that you could have potentially had just bled dry. I needed a turn. Okay.

Is that what they call it? Your old habits were still showing up. Your standards were still too low. And you being brutally honest with yourself remained optional for you.

(28:52 - 29:40)

It's you weren't, you weren't committed. You weren't prepared to go all in. And this, this is why results that you want, the results that you want this year, they're not going to come from you wishing.

They're going to come from you implementing structure, standards, and making decisions that you no longer negotiate with. They're not open for negotiation as in there is no other option. Think about it this way.

If somebody said to you, you cannot take another breath. Well, that's not an option. I need to.

I enjoy being here. I need to take another breath. Right.

Well, let your standards and your structure and your decisions be just like that. Like that. Well, you know, Susan, I don't know, just making up a name here.

(29:40 - 29:59)

I'm just making up a name. Okay. You can, you should break your diet tonight, Susan.

And you should just eat chocolate all night. Well, that's ridiculous. No, there is no other option for me, apart from following my plan and not my mood.

That's the only option available to me. Your biggest breakthrough this year moving forward is...