Feeling Fat, Inflamed & Overwhelmed? It’s Not Too Late For You

Feeling exhausted, inflamed, emotionally overwhelmed and completely disconnected from yourself lately?

This episode is for the woman quietly wondering: “How did I end up feeling like this?”

In this powerful episode, Kylie breaks down the REAL reason so many women over 40 feel stuck in cycles of emotional eating, exhaustion, weight gain, self-negotiation and constant “starting again.”

This is NOT another fluffy motivation podcast.

Kylie shares a step-by-step “Get Your Life Back” implementation plan, including:
 ✔️ creating non-negotiable standards
 ✔️ using the Identity Scorecard daily
 ✔️ removing sources of chaos
 ✔️ rewiring emotional eating habits
 ✔️ learning to tolerate discomfort without using food for relief

If you’ve been feeling flat, puffy, emotionally exhausted and hopeless about your body or your future… this episode will help you stop spiralling and start rebuilding.

Because it is NOT too late for you. 

🎙️ If this episode helped you, take a screenshot, share it to your Instagram stories and tag Kylie so she can repost you!

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BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS FOR EMOTIONAL EATERS

Transcript

If you like any of the rest of us are out there feeling fat, inflamed and overwhelmed, I promise you today's episode is going to show you that it is not too late for you. If you're listening to this while you're lying your ass in bed and scrolling on your phone or feeling uncomfortable in your body and wondering how the hell you even got here, this episode is for you. Because I really think there are just millions of women that are over 40 or at least I'm going to drop it down.

I'm going to drop it like it's hot and say 35. And then we are silently asking ourselves the same question right now. We go, we walk to the bathroom mirror and we think, what the hell? How did I even end up like this? How did I become so inflamed, exhausted, reliant on food for every bit of pleasure that I've got in my life? We feel disconnected from ourselves and we are too freaking tired to follow through anymore.

So we are constantly restarting every Monday and the truth the whole time has been that most of us did not just let ourselves go. That is not even a fkg thing. We slowly drifted through an amalgamation of tiny decisions, tiny excuses, tiny little moments where we abandon ourselves and tiny little seconds of, I will deal with this tomorrow.

And then, and then, oh wait, this just gets better and better. Then what feels like the next day you wake up and suddenly now your jeans don't fit over your ass, your energy has disappeared, you've got the confidence of a dried up hot dog and your body feels like something you don't even recognize anymore. Now before everybody runs screaming into the distance, I want to make something very, very freaking clear.

Girl, you are not too far gone to rebuild yourself, but you are going to need a system in order to do it. Motivation isn't going to cut it anymore. Motivation is very cute for 48 hours, but structure is what changes lives.

And today I'm going to give you the exact starting point, not fluff, not love yourself until you can lose weight. Nah, honey, I've been there, tried all that. All the juicy, fluffy vibes in the world did not make me skinny.

You need a realistic overhaul, actual practical steps that begin rebuilding control immediately. So let's dive in. What is up, you gorgeous, fabulous creatures, and welcome to a brand new week of the Losing It podcast.

You're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's emotional eating coach. And as always, you know what I'm going to say. If you're loving what you're hearing and you want to hear more, please go ahead, make sure you hit that subscribe button, leave me a review, or go ahead and share this with the bestie, because you know your girl does not monetize this channel.

So it would be ever so helpful and I would be truly, truly grateful. Let's start at the beginning, girl, with the real reason you're feeling stuck. Most of us, we think the problem is too many carbs, menopause, don't feel motivated, got a really shitty metabolism.

Wrong, girl, you're wrong. Your biggest problem. All right, some of those things might be a small problem, but your number one problem is chaos.

Mental chaos, physical chaos, emotional chaos, even environmental chaos. We have no structure, no standards, at least not any that we regularly adhere to, no emotional regulation, zero boundaries, and amongst all of that, we've got fk all consistency. If you are trying to create a calm body inside of a chaotic lifestyle, good luck to you.

Good luck to you, my friend. That is not a thing. Women, especially as we get a little older, become trapped in what I call the betrayal loop.

Y'all know this one very well. You promise yourself you're going to be good, then you get stressed, tired, overwhelmed, emotionally eat, feel guilty, they all start again on Monday, and we repeat this for 15 years. That loop destroys self-trust.

And once you break your own trust, that is when you entirely stop believing in yourself. This is why so many of us women feel hopeless. It's not because we're overweight, it's the loss of personal authority.

So let's look at step two. Girl, you got to stop trying to fix your entire life overnight. I know it looks very cute on an Instagram reel, but that is also not a freaking thing.

This is where we are consistently screwing ourselves over. We feel so uncomfortable in our body that we panic. Then we create some psychotic level of life reset plan with 6 a.m. ice bath, 75 supplements, no carbs, 10 workouts a day, meditation, celery juice.

And then, of course, by Thursday, you're eating garlic bread in the car and crying outside of Coles. Honey, your nervous system cannot sustain extremes. You do not need a complete personality transplant this week.

What you actually need is control. And control is built through tiny, small, repeated micro actions. That is it.

So let's get practical. You're going to need a plan to start getting your life back on track. Let's start by creating a non-negotiable checklist.

Now, this is the first thing that I would have every overwhelmed woman do. You've got to pick three standards only for this week, not 15, three. And your three standards could be things like, okay, I'm at zero steps at the moment, so I'm going to start at 3k steps per day, or five or seven.

Make sure you have protein at every meal. When you're eating, sister, stop eating at 80% full. We're going to follow our plan, not our mood, and make sure that you are in bed before the pixies come out to do their midnight dance.

It's simple, it's repeatable, it's measurable. Because consistency is what is going to build your identity and identity is what changes everything. Remember, the goal this week is not perfection.

The goal is for you to start trusting yourself again. That is the real game here. Now, step four, once you've figured this out, I want you to do an identity scorecard every single day.

Ooh, sis, this one is so good. Every single night, I want you to sit back and ask yourself, what identity did my actions reinforce today? You're not going to sit back and ask, was I perfect? You're not going to sit back and ask, what did the scale say today? I want you to ask, what version of me did I practice today? Every single action is casting a vote. Either you are going to be reinforcing the more disciplined, emotionally regulated, intentional self-respecting version of you, or your ass is going to be reinforcing the avoidant, reactive, chaotic, emotionally dependent on food version of you.

I mean, really, which one do you want to be? This is why tiny actions matter. A woman is not going to become unrecognizable because of motivation. She becomes unrecognizable through micro repeated actions.

You cannot think your way out of a problem that you behaved your way into. And that leads us straight into step number five, which is stop saying, I'm trying. Your language matters so much more than you realize.

Women especially are constantly saying, I know I'm trying to lose weight. I'm trying to stop emotional eating. I'm trying to get healthy.

But trying is you leaving the back door wide freaking open, no deadlocks, no padlocks. It keeps your identity weak as water. I want you to replace it with, I'm becoming the kind of woman who, so for example, you would say, I'm becoming the kind of woman who keeps promises to herself.

I'm becoming the kind of woman who stops eating at 80% full. I'm becoming the kind of woman who is a badass and handles stress without eating 15 Snickers bars. How about that? Your language builds your identity and your brain is listening to every single word you say, which is why it is so important to move then into step number six and remove one source of chaos this week.

Now, this is huge, huge, huge, huge. Your physical environment is either going to be helping you to regulate or it's going to be sending you into an emotional spiral every day. So for example, right now I am just on the tail end of another huge ass clean out inside of my house.

I generally tackle an area every couple of months. And the one that I tackled this past weekend was the garage. Now this is the place where shit that you don't know what to do with goes to die.

So you can imagine what a mess my garage was. Well, it is now spic and fricking spam. I mean, I could invite better homes and gardens over just to examine how beautiful my garage is.

Everything is in order. We have a whole new shelving system. I have cupboards installed.

It's amazing. But that also meant that the things that no longer had a home in there had to either be thrown out, given away or sold. Now the throwing out part, that's easy.

I put a whole heap of shit out on sidewalk and most of it is now gone because it was good. It was actually really good stuff. I then bundled a whole heap of boxes into my son's car.

I said, go off you go, sunshine. You can just total those off to the goodwill. But I still have a bunch of gear in my home that actually Phil needs to sell.

So the inside of my house now is filled with some clutter. This I do not like. I'm weaving my way through the hallway.

There are fricking tripping hazards left and right. None of it is good. And I have set myself a timeline by the end of this week that it all has to be dealt with.

Why? Because otherwise, what's the point of cleaning up one source of emotional chaos in my life only to create another one? And this is what we do with our bodies as well. We tell ourselves we want to lose weight, but we still keep all our fat clothes in the wardrobe. We say we want to step up and be a 1% woman and become unrecognizable, but we've still got makeup and skincare in our bathroom from 1992.

Girl, you've got to step up all around the board. If you think that sleeping at 1am and having a messy kitchen with zero food prep, doom scrolling every night, drinking away every weekend and living in toxic relationships is the answer. No, wrong.

So wrong. But you don't need to fix your whole life this week. Just pick one thing because order creates momentum and momentum removes the negotiation.

Now let's look at step seven, because sis, you've got to learn to tolerate discomfort. This is the part that nobody's ass wants to hear. You are going to need to become better at feeling uncomfortable without immediately running and looking for an escape, because that is the whole ethos of emotional eating.

It is nervous system panic relief. Food for us is not even about the flavor. It's about distraction, sedation, reward, comfort, escape.

So now it's time to retrain your nervous system. This week, you're going to practice discomfort on purpose. What do I mean? That means sit with a craving for five or 10 minutes before you choose to react to it.

Delay hitting the Uber Eats app. Go for that walk that you really don't want to go for. Right now in South Oz, it's pretty freaking cold.

I don't want to go for a walk, but that's the exact reason why I need to go, because I don't want to. And I have to make sure that my subconscious understands I'm the boss, not my feelings, not my warm, cozy bed. Me, me, me, me.

So sit with discomfort on purpose, because every time you do it, you're rewiring yourself a little deeper. You're teaching your brain, I can survive discomfort without self-destructing, and that is what's life changing. Okay, so let's look at the final step, which is deciding what is actually possible for you.

Now, let me speak directly here to the woman who's listening and secretly feels like, I don't know, Kylie, I still think it's too late for me. Girl, I promise you, it is not too late, but your old identity cannot come with you for the ride. That version of you who was constantly negotiating with herself, abandoning herself every day, making promises and then breaking them, reacting emotionally, waiting till she felt motivated, constantly stopping and starting.

She is not welcome in the future that you want to create. And if you're starting to panic and thinking, what the freak, but who am I supposed to be if I'm not her? This is a beautiful thing. Your identity is trainable.

Your brain is adaptable. Your habits are adaptable. Your nervous system is adaptable.

Women completely rebuild themselves in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond all the time, but they don't do it through intensity and forcing. They do it through repeating tiny micro standards that they up level at such a small pace, their nervous system barely even catches on to what they're doing. We do it through emotional regulation and structure and self-respect.

It's that tiny little pieces of daily evidence that prove to our subconscious, oh, this is who I am now. I am a baddie. I am a badass.

I can do the things that I say I want to do. And that's how the change actually happens. So if you're sitting there today and you're feeling fat, inflamed, overwhelmed, exhausted and disappointed in yourself, I need you to hear me really clearly when I say this.

Girl, you don't need to become perfect this week. I don't want you to become perfect this week. What you need is to become consistent enough to start trusting yourself again, because that's where real transformation actually begins.

It doesn't begin when you hit a rock bottom or you hit a new Monday. It happens at the moment that you finally say, I am so done with this BS. I am sick and tired of putting up with my own shit.

And that is the moment when you can pivot and decide that you are worth more than what you're currently creating for yourself. Thank you so much for joining me here today. If this episode helped you, please send it to another woman who needs this conversation.

And if you haven't already, please hit subscribe and leave a review because that helps this message reach more women who are silently struggling behind closed doors. And remember, the only person who has the power to change your life is you. It's not too late when you step up and decide that you do have time and you do deserve everything that you want.

And not only do you deserve it, but you are fully capable of creating it. That is when you've got what it takes. It is time to stop negotiating with the life you say you want.

I am sending you love. I can't wait to see you again next week. Until then, gorgeous ones, bye for now.

Thank you so much for tuning in. Remember to shimmy your butt over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now. You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity.

I will see you next week.