10 Game-Changers That Helped Me Drop 18kg

I didn't lose 18 kilos because I found the perfect diet. I lost it because I changed the way I think, act, and show up... every single day.

In this episode I'm handing you the 10 biggest game changers that didn't just transform my body. They rebuilt my entire identity. No meal plan. No macros. Just the mindset and behavioural shifts that actually moved the needle... and the exact questions I asked myself to become the woman who keeps her word to herself.

If you've spent years starting again every Monday, this is the episode that ends that cycle for good.

What You'll Learn

• Why motivation is a liar... and what to rely on instead
• The one question that ends emotional eating before it starts
• Why "I'll start again tomorrow" is an identity leak, not a fresh start
• How to track your triggers instead of your calories
• The Zero BS Policy that changed everything

Who This Is For

Women over 40 who know exactly what to do but can't seem to stay consistent. Women who've tried every diet, lost weight before, and gained it back. Women who are done waiting to feel motivated and ready to build the identity that makes weight loss inevitable.

BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS FOR EMOTIONAL EATERS

Transcript

If you've been trying to lose weight for years, I'm talking dieting, quitting, restarting, blaming yourself, then this episode is what you want to be listening to today because I am going to be sharing with you the exact 10 shifts. I feel like these are the biggest shifts that helped me drop 18 kilos last year. No, it wasn't another program, no fancy program, not a meal plan.

It was the mindset and behavioral game changes that actually moved the needle. So stay with me. What is up you gorgeous, fabulous creatures and welcome to another week of the Losing It podcast.

I am your host, Kylie Pax, and I feel like sometimes I am the last resort transformation coach for women who know exactly what to do to lose weight, but they just cannot seem to stay consistent. I'm the one that's going to help you realize this was never a motivation problem. It's not even a macros problem.

This is an identity problem, and I'm going to help you rebuild an internal identity of a woman who actually follows through so you can finally start getting some damn results. Now, as always, if you are loving what you're hearing and you want to hear more, please make sure you hit that subscribe button to make sure that you never miss an episode. And if you really, really love what you're hearing, then feel free to go ahead and share to your stories.

Please make sure to tag me so that I can share you back. Because ladies, it is time that we cut the crap. Listen, you girls did not lose 18 kilos last year because I found, finally found the perfect diet.

I didn't just stumble across some magical freaking macro ratio that none of you all know about. No. And let us just be clear, neither did I suddenly get hit with the willpower wand, whatever the heck that is.

I lost 18 kilos because I decided to change the way that I think, act, and show up every single day. Not for a day, not for 48 hours, not for two weeks, every single day for an extended period of time. And now today, I'm going to hand you as well the 10 biggest game changers that didn't just transform my body, they helped rebuild my entire identity.

So sis, grab your coffee, grab your headphones, and let's get into it. The first thing that I did is I stopped waiting for motivation. Girl, that motivation is such a liar.

It's lying ass is going to show up when things are easy and then disappear the second that your life gets hard. You've got challenges. You've got to take your grandma to the, I don't know, plant nursery.

And if you're still sitting around waiting to feel motivated before you actually start something that you want so badly, don't tell me that you don't. We all do. Then that is exactly why you're still stuck.

The number one thing that I learned is that mood follows action, sis. It's not the other way around. You don't wait to feel like doing the thing.

You do the thing and then you feel like doing more. It's wild and wooly, the psychology behind this, but discipline is what actually got me results. It wasn't inspiration.

It was not having a great day. It was discipline. And the mantra that changed everything for me was follow your plan, not your mood.

It was the only thing I could cling onto on the days when things were not going my way. When I didn't feel like doing the thing, when I didn't want to go to the gym, when I didn't even want to go for a walk outside, but I wanted to be on the inside. I knew I wanted to be that 1% woman.

The version of me that is a real badass. She shows up. She's got her boundaries.

She's got her standards. She self-corrects without spiraling. She's got predictable routines.

She makes fast, clean decisions. That was who I wanted to be. And the only way I could get there was to continue to tell myself, follow your plan and not your mood.

I started the day with a plan and it was rock solid. And I just told myself there's no deviation from it. It could be fluid.

So if grandma wanted to go to the nursery, I could take her there. It just didn't mean that I wouldn't do the walk. It might mean that I did the walk later that day.

You know what I mean? But what I wasn't going to do, like I previously would have done, was quit. The second thing that I did, and this is my very first eating code that I ever came up with, which was I only ate when I was hungry. Now listen, I know this sounds like basic bitch behavior, but quite frankly, so many of us have lost complete touch with what actual hunger signals feel like.

We have this theory that we can bank calories for later. Can I just talk about the biggest freaking scam of the diet industry is banking calories. Your body's not a fucking savings account.

It needs a certain amount of calories each day. It's not going to use extra calories on the weekend because you think you banked them. If your body needs 1800 calories per day, it's not suddenly going to need 4000 on the weekend because you cut back a little through the week.

It cannot metabolize that many. That's why you start each Monday with the scale going up, feeling like shit. And that's why you crash out by Monday afternoon because you got pissed off that you gained weight on the weekend after working so hard all week.

Even the mentality of eating when it's quote unquote time to eat. Well it's 7am, it must be breakfast time. Are you freaking hungry? If you're not hungry at 7, you might be hungry at 7.30. Your body is very, very smart.

It actually doesn't wear a smartwatch, but it knows when you're hungry. Trust the freaking process people. Just because something smells good, not a reason to eat.

Just because you're bored, stressed, lonely, upset, not a reason to eat. Physical hunger became my barometer and I stopped all of the excess calorie consumption. So I started asking myself just one question every time I wanted to put something in my little gob, am I physically hungry or was I just seeking comfort in that moment? It could have been comfort, distraction.

I don't know. I would eat for any fucking reason outside of physical hunger. But that one question did change everything for me because when you eat for physical hunger instead of emotion, you stop needing to restrict yourself.

There's no need for deprivation. And then of course, by default, there's no rebound binging. You just eat the food when you're hungry with intention.

So hunger became my signal, not stress, boredom, and definitely not the clock. The third thing that I did, and this is also one of my eating codes, which I actually lovingly embrace as the weight loss eating code is I stopped eating at 80%. I don't know anybody who wasn't raised in the clean plate era.

It doesn't matter if you were raised in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, we were all raised in a clean the plate era. And we were told by our parents, finish everything on your plate. Don't waste food.

In my era, there were children starving in Africa. In other eras, it was, I really don't know because that was the only era I know about. But that kind of conditioning, that's exactly what kept a lot of us overweight for a really long time.

And I had to unlearn that shit. To this day, I still feel bad throwing out food. I want someone to eat it.

I don't want to be the one to eat it because I don't want to gain unnecessary weight, but I want somebody to eat it because I have a real problem with waste. Was I born with a problem with waste? No. My beautiful parents, who I love, they're angels, but that's where it came from.

They were the ones. Don't waste food. We worked hard for that.

Your father worked very hard. There were children starving in Africa. I had to teach myself that leaving food behind wasn't the waste.

Putting food in my body that was unnecessary and that I didn't need, that was wasteful. Do you think that walking around with your ass looking like a portable garbage can is attractive? When somebody stops you on the street and be like, hey, Carls, you look like you've gained some weight. I can say, yeah, well, at least I'm not wasting food.

What bullshit? No, we stop eating at 80% full. The civilizations that live the longest in the world, I'm talking the ones that are like octogenarians and above, are the ones that stop eating at 80%. And so satisfied, not needing my stretchy pants, but just feeling satisfied as if I could still get up and do a little core short jog around the block, that became the standard that I ran by.

So the question that you're going to use to interrupt the whole, just clean the plate situation is, what would that 1% version of me do now? That badass version, what would she do? Would she stop eating now or would she eat those extra two bites because she doesn't want to waste food? Listen, she would stop. You know, she would damn well stop. And the more I asked that question, the closer and the quicker I became her.

The fourth thing that I did is I planned my meals in advance. Chaos without purpose is an avoidance tactic. And the most chaotic sentence in the world of weight loss is, I'll just grab something.

I don't have time to stop. I'm very busy. I didn't have time to eat breakfast.

All those little sentences that seem so benign in the moment, they seem like no big deal. And they actually feel very true, but they are the same sentences that are derailing your progress more than any other. Because when you haven't planned what you're going to eat that day, then your mood is going to dictate your choices.

And your mood is not your friend when you're tired and stressed or standing in the fridge at 9pm at night after a hard day at work. No, you need to start planning so that you can eliminate decision fatigue each and every night. So for me, I would plan either my meals for the next day at night or I would plan them first thing in the morning.

But once they were planned, they were done. They were locked in. No plan equals chaos.

Having a plan equals complete and utter freedom. So now when I was home and I had had the stir fry that I already decided I was going to have for dinner and somebody rocked up home with pizza, I wasn't going to eat that. Or maybe I was getting ready to have my stir fry and they rocked up with pizza.

Pizza? Peaches? Peachy pizza? Still not going to have it. It wasn't what I planned and we follow our plan, not our mood. If it wasn't on the plan, it didn't go in my mouth.

Simple, clean, non-negotiable. The fifth thing that I did is I banned starting again tomorrow from my vocabulary. Okay, this one here is the one that kept me stuck for years, at least 30 years.

I'll just start again on Monday. I'll start after the weekend. I'll start in January.

That phrase is not a fresh start. What that actually is, is an identity leak. And every time you say it, you're reinforcing the exact belief of someone who you don't want to be.

You're reinforcing the behavior of the person you're trying to get away from. 99% of the basic bitches out there, they're delaying. They're putting it on hold.

They're putting a pin in it and hoping they'll feel better and more motivated about it next week. But the 1% woman, she recalibrates, as in right now, in the same day. So when you slip up, because we all do, you don't write the entire day off.

You fix it, you pivot, and you do it really fast. Your entire transformation will hinge on how fast your bounce back rate is. Your bounce back rate is how quickly you bounce back after you fall off plan.

So your next meal is your fresh start, not tomorrow. The sixth thing that I did, I swapped out emotional eating for emotional regulation. Girl, this one is so good.

This was such a big one for me. And I think this is probably one of the most important ones for you as well. We're not eating because we're really hungry.

We're eating because we're stressed, or we're overwhelmed, or we're lonely, bored, anxious. Food just feels like the fastest way to make that feeling stop. But it doesn't stop.

It just buries it. And then it adds shame on top. I had to actually learn how to feel my feelings and that my feelings were not threatening and they were okay, and just deal with it.

Not taking things so seriously was the biggest gift I could have given myself. So doing things like journaling instead of numbing out with chocolate, moving instead of numbing out with chocolate, using the guide of visualizations inside of the bombshell blueprint instead of eating chocolate. All of that calmed my nervous system.

And it's not a distraction. It's actually the way you get to that 1% version of you. So the rule that I gave myself was that the next craving I have, I grab a pen and a paper, or I get up and I shift that energy out of my body before I would grab the food.

I could still grab the food. I told myself I could have the food anytime I wanted, but I was going to set a pause between me and the food, at least just five, 10 minutes. If I still couldn't handle it after that time, I could come back and eat the food, but please, of course, after five, 10 minutes, you've forgotten about it and moved on to the next session.

The seventh thing that I did is every single choice I asked, is this a 1% woman choice or a 99% basic bitch choice? I want you to think about the woman that you want to become, as in not someday, maybe in the magical world where you're skinny. I mean her, that version of you who has the body, the energy, the confidence, the one that you want so desperately. She's the one that makes the choices that the version of you who right now is stuck, isn't making.

And I'm not talking about super big ass choices. I'm talking, she's the one that's making those micro choices that are making all the difference. It's a thousand tiny little decisions every day that get stacked to build this ideal version of you.

So I stopped asking, what do I feel like doing? And I started asking, what would she do? And that question became the filter for everything in my life. So when I was thinking, should I stick to the plan or just raid the pantry or should my ass lie here scrolling for another hour, is that a 1% behavior or a 99% behavior? Listen, your girl even put sticky notes on the fridge and the pantry and like 1% or 99%, but it was there and I had to face it before I made the decision every single time. Every single micro decision that you're making is a vote for either the woman you want to become or you're voting for exactly who you don't want in power.

So just think about it. That's all I'm saying. The eighth thing that I did is I tracked my triggers rather than tracking my calories.

Calories were never really that bigger concern for me. I mean, not anymore, maybe back in the eighties, nineties, back in the day, sis, back in the day. But now rather than tracking calories, I knew if I just stuck by these eating codes and I managed my emotions when I was feeling stressed or lonely or bored or just exhausted, then they were the real reasons that I was overeating.

But instead of actually facing that shit, I spent years counting macros instead of understanding what my triggers were and then being frustrated because nothing was changing. So rather than logging down what I ate every day, I decided to keep a reverse food diary every day. And what I started doing was writing down I didn't eat.

I wanted to start building the evidence inside of my brain that I was the woman I said I wanted to be. So if the old version of me would have had four rows of chocolate that day and I decided to say no, just for the first time ever, I would write down in my reverse food journal, four rows of chocolate that I didn't eat. And then at the close of every day, I would look at the list of items that was in my food, reverse food journal for the day.

And I would add up how many calories I didn't eat. And that made me feel really proud. And it actually made me want to keep going the next day.

These kind of patterns start emerging really fast once you get used to it. And once I nailed that, then food really stopped controlling me because I now had the awareness and that's where my power came from. That's where it was giving me my result.

The night thing that I did is I built in a set of daily rituals. Now, we all know discipline can feel very hard and autopilot feels very, very easy. So what I did was I turned discipline into autopilot, but through a set of rituals.

So my morning ritual, as many of you know, is the lemon water, journaling, visualization, and then I plan my meals. That's what I do every single morning. Now my evening ritual or like my shutdown time when it's really important to close the loop of the day is stretching.

There's no more sneaky snacking all the way through to bedtime. And then I have my sleep tracker on. I'm also currently using a prana mat.

I'm using my red face light mask. I am using the guided visualizations from inside of the blueprint. And that gets me ready to close the loop and head straight off to bed.

And these rituals don't take long, but they bookend every single day with intention. So that then signaled to my brain, okay, this is what we're doing. We're the woman who does this.

And that's the trick to making these little rituals stick because you anchor them into something that you're already doing. So while I was getting my nighttime herbal tea, I would start the process of doing a really nice warm shower or whatever it is that you want to do. And then planning your meals mentally before you clean up for dinner, whatever it is that you decide you want to do, but you want to start stacking your habits so that you can easily close those loops, cut off any stress or tension so it doesn't ruminate in your head all night long and make success the path of least resistance.

Okay, finally, last thing that I did is I held a zero BS policy. Now girl, I know this one might sting a little, but it's the one that ties everything together. I had to stop lying to myself.

Yeah. You know, those tiny little lies, the ones that feel really harmless in the moment, like, oh, just a little bit won't hurt. I'll make up for it later.

Or I deserve this. I've had a hard day. Every single one of those thoughts is a crack in your identity.

It's just, it's a small leak. But the small leaks are what sink the ships, right? It's not the big ones. So whenever one of those thoughts would show up, because it did, I would use the four C's and I would catch the thought, I would challenge the thought, I would connect that thought with a new and more advantageous action, and then I would carry it out.

Does this build or break my future self? Because every tiny little decision that you make is either going to be adding to the bank account of your self-belief or it's going to be making a big ass withdrawal, but there is definitely no neutral. I got heavily committed to building a zero BS policy with myself. And as a result, I ended up losing 18 kilos.

Now, my loves, these 10 game changers were just so much more than a few numbers on the scale. They rebuilt my entire identity from the ground up. And the beautiful thing is that every single one of you can do these two.

You can take notes from what we went through today. You can check the show notes. You can mark it down.

You don't need to wait until you feel ready or until you feel like you've hit rock bottom or that's just not the way to go. All you have to do is decide who are you going to be voting for with your next choice? Because that 1% woman, she's built one decision at a time and you can start building her right now. Thank you so much for joining me here today.

And as always, if you've loved what you're hearing and you want to hear more, please remember to hit that subscribe button. And when you step up and start implementing even just one of these 10 steps, the excuses start to go, the procrastination starts to go, and the results start showing up with less decision fatigue and more predictable outcomes. I am sending you love.

I cannot wait to see you again in the next episode. Until then, gorgeous ones, bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning in.

Remember to shimmy your butt over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now. You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.